


Undertale: His Saving Grace

by Mysterie



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, Despair, Eventual Romance, Female Reader, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempts, Multi, Reader Insert, Reader Is Not Frisk, Resets, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, adult reader, geno/pacifist Frisk, implied genocide route, implied multiple timelines, post-pacifist route - near genocide, post-surface, spiteful Sans, tag may change depending on mood/how story plays out, tall monsters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2018-09-16 19:55:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 41
Words: 60,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9287456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysterie/pseuds/Mysterie
Summary: You work at a local grocery store. Your life is boring. You pretty much hate your job-life. You have a roommate who's going to be married soon, you're single... again. Coming up on being "middle aged" you've been nagged by your family about settling down... but it's not happening. You're almost sure it's never going to happen... then the unexpected happens when while working during your usual evening shift... you meet a pair of skeleton monsters. Suddenly your life is not so boring...[I am the original owner of this fic, also posted on Deviant Art under the name AGuardianOfDreams]





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Press start to play](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6475123) by [RabbitBones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RabbitBones/pseuds/RabbitBones). 



* * *

 

  Originally this wasn't supposed to be as long as it ended up being. Thus it's broken up into parts.

   **Part 1: The Soul**  {Prologue - Chapter 32}

 **Part 2:**...   {Chapter 33 - ??? }

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

The stars twinkled up above, the night was crisp; winter would soon be upon them. He wasn't really looking forward to it, but he didn't want to make anyone feel down about it. He was the only one who remembered, after all. At least, it seemed like it... oh there were talks he'd had with Asgore, who had seemed to struggle since they'd been freed. He couldn't blame the king, the guy had pretty much been dumped by his wife whom he was technically still married to. While Toriel was a good friend of his now, he wasn't one to take it much further. He didn't need that complication in his life. Life was complex enough. He sighed into the night air. It was hard to believe it had been a week now and there was no sign of Frisk resetting. The child seemed happy, even had brought the weed with them to the surface. He had given said weed some "friendly" advice. The flower had just sulked a little and seemed to have been doing since even being brought to the surface. Flowey, however, of course had something to say to him when Frisk had been distracted by Toriel as they'd been walking down the mountain as a group; Sans having been able to pull his brother back from just rushing ahead of everyone else...

 

 _"It's only a matter of time, smiley trashbag... and when that day comes... heh... I doubt you will look on the kid with such trust after that."_ He frowned as he looked up at the stars above, even the twinkling lights could not provide comfort from his memories... of things he'd rather forget. As it was... that weed didn't need to know that Sans didn't trust Frisk. In fact, no one knew... because only he, Flowey and Asgore seemed to recall anything when it came to resets... Asgore the least of the three of them. No one else seemed to notice. Flowey knew as much as he did, it seemed, about resets... but while Sans was friendly enough with the kid on the surface, he and the kid rarely spent time alone... because honestly... he couldn't stand being around Frisk and the kid knew it. Despite the apologies the kid had made over the past week every time when no one else was around... He couldn't find it in himself to care enough for the kid. As he'd told Frisk at the MTT Resort dinner... if it hadn't been for the promise Tori had asked of him... he would have killed Frisk on sight. He knew he'd have been justified too. The child... the supposed "angel" who had freed them... it would tear the others up to learn that their "hero" had played with their lives like they were toys... that they had gone back through time, again and again... just to see who would say what if they spared someone or what would happen if they killed them... time and time again... Sans could barely keep count of how many times he'd seen his brother be slain by the "monster" that he knew Frisk really was.

 

 _He's right... but I already knew that. Especially after all his "escapades" ... kiddo... how long are you gonna drag this out before it all ends? How long until you get bored and reset? I wish you'd tell me... at least then I could be prepared..._ He sighed quietly. No one understood him. Understood his doubts... the pain his jokes still hid... he couldn't be truly happy, he mused, until he knew that things were going to stay the same. That they were going to be free of the nightmare that was their "savior" . . .


	2. 1 - First Glance

“Thank you, have a nice day!” You say as the customer picks up their groceries and leaves. They didn’t smile at you or anything, you nearly sigh but you hold it in as you look at the clock on the computer screen. 22:43. It was in military time because, why not? Still, your shift was nearly over; you couldn’t recall how long you’d been working the evening shift for, but you were glad it was almost over as tonight you just hadn’t really felt up to being at your job. You liked it fine, but you didn’t get nearly enough hours to really matter; still, the job paid bills and kept you form being hungry. It didn’t help that the courtesy person you were working with had wandered off to do something to keep from being bored. At this hour, being twenty-seven minutes until 11 pm, there were few customers. Normally you’d be writing notes about stories that you written or things you wanted to draw out, but you’d hit a roadblock recently and had been stumped. Not to mention that your latest drawing project wasn’t one you were entirely satisfied with. Everyone seemed to be better than you... well, okay... that was a stretch... not EVERYONE... but all of the popular ones seemed to be like from those who’d had the money to go to college and nothing better to do with their time than draw... sketch... paint... or whatever. It was really not helping your lack of self worth, even if drawing was only a hobby to you. While you were staring off into space you nearly jumped at the sound of a voice nearby so suddenly and it was very loud.

“Excuse me human!” You turn, the last thing you expected to see was the customers that stood before you now. Two skeletons, not one, two. You knew monsters had been freed almost two years ago, but you’d never really met one in person because, in all honesty, your town was as far from Mt. Ebbot as could be and still be on the same continent... okay, maybe not THAT far... but still. The first one, who had spoken, was rather tall, so much that you had to crane your neck a little just to make eye contact with him. You were pretty sure he was between seven and nine feet tall.... Monsters DID seem to be bigger than most humans... even the few glimpses you’d seen of them on TV. After all, Frisk had been a kid, but they hadn’t been THAT short... but next to the monsters who had adopted them and had been friends with them... Frisk had looked almost like they were a toddler in comparison! The taller skeleton was dressed in a T-shirt that said “cool dude” and blue jeans while the shorter skeleton, who still was taller than your 5’ 6’  by at least a few inches, seemed to have a permanent smile on his face, he seemed relaxed and wore a blue hoodie which he had stuck his hands in. Of course, unlike the other skeleton who wore boots, this skeleton wore ... house slippers?! Well, that was different, but having worked as a cashier for over several years you’d pretty much seen it all... including seeing a newly wed couple come in still dressed in tux and bridal gown. Seeing a skeleton in house slippers was the least odd thing... or would have been if he hadn’t been a skeleton in the first place. You smile, because you know you have to; it’s your job, but genuine curiosity is in your eyes as you take the two in.

“What can I help you with?”

“Where might I find the pasta?”

“Aisle six.”

“Thank you!” The shorter one didn’t say anything, simply following the other, though the next sentence, though you couldn’t see the two now, could only have come from him.

“we’d better hurry back soon bro, or the others might think we _pasta_ away...” You can’t help but giggle even as you hear his brother’s unhappy grunt in response. A skeleton monster with a sense of humor.... This night just got interesting. A few minutes later and the duo came in sight again, the taller one was carrying a red basket full of pasta and pasta sauce; did this skeleton like pasta or what? Still, you’d been doing this too long to care or to really make a fuss about it as you smiled at the two.

“You find everything okay?”

“Yes! Thank you for your assistance earlier human!”

“Of course, are you new to town?”

“We are! We just moved here! The people are so friendly here!” You can’t help but smile, at the energetic response... it was like listening to a little kid as he began to ramble on about all of the things he’d seen that day and all of the “nice” people who’d helped them move and everything. You simply nod politely and smile, you knew from experience that the people here weren’t half as nice as the skeleton was painting them to be. Most of the people who lived in this small town didn’t really know each other, didn’t care to, didn’t care about anyone but themselves or those they did know... it was typical of humans really, but seeing these two made you wonder if monsters were any different... or if this one in particular was just that naive... or that stupid. You couldn’t help flicking your glance between the taller and the shorter one, though you didn’t let your gaze linger too long on the enthusiastic skeleton’s brother. You weren’t sure why, but meeting his gaze sent a chill up your spine... like you were looking at death in the face every time you met his gaze despite the smile on his face. It was interesting, really, to see the range of expression on their faces, even though they were supposedly just made of bone... maybe whatever magic they were made of allowed them to actually contort their mouths as if they had lips or something... and their brows seems to do good impressions of eyebrows... it was... fascinating, if you were honest with yourself. Even after you’d finished scanning and bagging the last item for them, you wished you could listen to them more.

“Your total comes to twenty-three fifty.” You wondered if the chill you got from the other was because the short skeleton seemed to be so silent and yet never seemed to stop watching you... like he was expecting you to do something.

“I’m sure you’d love them if you met them!” The taller one was saying after the shorter one had produced a card to pay for their purchases.

“Well, they all sound wonderful. To be honest, until tonight I’d never met a monster. I’m glad that I could.” There’s sincerity in your tone, even as you wonder where your co-worker was and how they’d missed such a golden opportunity.

“come on, we need to spa-get-ti outta here.”

“SANS!” You chuckle, you can’t help it.

“she likes it.”

“Stop encouraging the humans with your puns!”

“Easy there, no need to get _saucy_ with your brother.” You can’t help it, it just slips out. The taller one seems to just groan while the one named Sans glanced your way, you weren’t sure if his grin got a little wider or if it was just your imagination... something in his gaze seemed to lessen though at the pun.

“good one.”

“Sans! Stop encouraging them! I swear... it’s bad enough Frisk and Toriel do it too!”

“Don’t you know laughter is like a virus?”

“A virus?” The taller skeleton seems confused a moment.

“It’s infectious.” You reply, the chuckle you hear from the shorter skeleton is worth it; at least that’s what you’ll think later on after the two have left... Sans’ brother having all but pushed him out of the sliding doors to keep the two of you from continuing an exchange of puns. You wished they’d stayed longer, you really did want to hear more about the other monsters that had moved into town and... if given a chance, you were pretty sure you’d make a friend out of the shorter skeleton one who seemed to share your sense of humor.


	3. 2 - Reality Bites

It seemed that things had gotten more interesting since the monsters had moved into town; you’d met most of them by now. Toriel came by at least once a week to pick up new things to cook for Frisk, who was in high school and they’d transferred to here to get away from the pressure of being the famous Monster Ambassador. After all, your home town was pretty much in the middle of nowhere as far as you were concerned and few people actually even knew in this place that monsters had existed... well, beyond newspapers and TV that was, which meant there were mixed reactions to the monsters having moved into the town. It seemed that most of the people in the town were scared of them, a few had even made some rude remarks that had made you want to frown and smack them upside the head with a rolled up newspaper, but of course you couldn’t... because that would mean risking being fired. You couldn’t afford that; especially not now. Your roommate had finally met the man of her dreams and was going to be married soon, which meant you were eventually going to need a new roommate soon. Well, that was a concern for later on... but you knew you needed to put in an ad soon... who knows how long it would take you to find someone... not to mention someone trustworthy. All your other friends were married, some even had kids, they’d voiced the worry about you being on your own for so long... especially at your age, but you’d brushed aside the concern stating that if there was someone you were meant to be with then it would happen. Until then, you were content enough to have your friends. Not to say that you’d never been out on dates or anything like that, just that, after high school and college, you’d never found anyone to latch onto. Everyone had either been too immature (at your high school) or you just didn’t have the time to get to know anyone enough for a relationship.

Why did you need a boyfriend, after all, when you had friends who were boys? Sure they were all married or in a relationship already, but you didn’t need to have a boyfriend to have “fun with guys” and there were more important things... like figuring out how to support yourself in a world where everything was so expensive... It was just your luck that the economy had tanked the year you’d graduated college and all those promising openings that should have been there weren’t, because those people who would have retired that year could no longer afford to. That was years ago, the economy still had yet to recover fully enough for wages to catch up... if they ever did. It was a Tuesday night, everything was slow and there was no one around as even the usual co-worker had been sent home early. With next to no customers at this time of night, it surprised you to see a familiar hooded skeleton pass by. This brightened your evening, surely he’d have some new puns for you... after all, he always did. Although it seemed unusual that Sans was here without his brother, Papyrus, as you’d learned his name was. Over the weeks you’d learned that Sans, Papyrus, Tori and Frisk were living together while Frisk finished school. They were supposed to be a senior this year and despite having met them multiple times it was impossible to tell by looks alone if Frisk was a girl or not.

The lanky teen’s figure and manners just did not match up enough and asking would be rude, especially at this point. Although you had asked Toriel once, early on, when Frisk had been off looking at some flowers at the flower shop that was several feet from the registers and had found out that none of the monsters knew. Frisk had never said, apparently. Well, not like you cared that much to know. You wondered how old they were too... but apparently that too had never been discussed... or really anything of their past before having fallen into the Underground. According to Tori, Sans and Papyrus were the closest to the kid, but when you’d asked Papyrus he’d come up short on answers and Sans had only shrugged. There was something though about the way he always acted when you mentioned Frisk that made you think that maybe not everything was as it seemed with the shorter skeleton. Speaking of which, he was coming down the line with a basket full of ketchup. His silence instead of a greeting creeped you out a little as you began to ring up the bottles; you knew he liked the condiment from conversations with Papyrus and Toriel, even with Frisk, though the teen couldn’t speak. Turned out the teen was mute due to some genetic malformation of their throat that rendered them unable to speak verbally; you’d felt bad when you’d heard that, but Frisk didn’t seem bothered by it anymore than their monsters friends.

“I take it you found everything okay.” Silence. This was unnerving... and he wasn’t even looking at you! He was staring at a nearby magazine.

“Sans? Everything okay?” He finally turned and it was then that you noticed that he didn’t have his usual grin. He wasn’t scowling or anything, but the chill that went down your spine was worse than the one you’d initially gotten that evening you’d first met him.

“i’m fine.” He said shortly and went back to staring at the magazine, but this time he looked at it like it had offended him or something. It was just a tabloid... it didn’t even cover anything about monsters on it. So what was going on?

“You seem... troubled.” A short laugh, it wasn’t one filled with amusement though... it was bitter.

“you’re perceptive, for a human, i’ll give you that.” What was _that_ supposed to mean?! Why did he suddenly seem so ... what was the word?

“So I’ve been told.”

“i’ve heard a lot about you from the others... but you know... you don’t fool me.”

“Excuse me?” He turned and the fact that his sockets suddenly lacked pupils made you want to run and hide. You swore the temperature around the two of you dropped even more than was usual for the store.

“you humans... you can exist without mercy, love, compassion... everything that makes up a monster soul. you’ve been overly kind with the others... but i know better. you’re just doing your job, just like everyone else up here... you don’t really care, do you? you can fool the others, but i know better. i know what you humans are really like and frankly... i hate humans.” You just stare, not sure if you should just be scared out of your mind or what... but you feel... something else... but at the same time you don’t think it’s wise to voice your thoughts just then. Instead you simply hand him the receipt for his purchase and watch him walk off, hands in his pockets as usual. _What... the... hell... ?!_ Was he having a bad day or something? Why in the hell would he take it out on you if he had? Then you recall his parting words. He... hated humans? Then how in the world did he stand living with Frisk?! None of this was making any sense, your mind was reeling from the encounter. The same skeleton you’d been trading jokes with all of those weeks apparently hated humans... or at least that was what he’d said. This was... a nightmare. You’d been warming up to the guy from the get go... and he hated humans? Was the guy... racist or something? Was that even technically considered being racist? There probably wasn’t a word for it actually... after all, until the monsters had been freed, the only time humans had ever had a hate for something that had an actual name for it was when one race of humans hated another for it’s skin or something like that. What would one call him... besides a hypocrite? You frown, thinking over the encounter. It seemed so surreal, not fitting in with all the times you’d seen him with Frisk, Toriel or Papyrus... You glanced at the time. Five minutes left on your shift. It was too late to text Frisk, who had insisted you keep in touch after having seen you and Sans start up a pun-filled conversation on a regular basis. You weren’t sure you should even mention it.

The teen probably had enough on their mind as it was. High school was always a hard time and chances were it wasn’t going to be an easy time on them, especially since they couldn’t speak verbally. Kids could be cruel, and who to know that better than you? Because, whether or not people knew it... you really only had a couple of people you could really call a friend. Everyone else you knew was, actually, just someone who knew your friend. No one, who had just met you at your job, would believe that you were a very shy and quiet person... that you didn’t really socialize... that you had never been a social butterfly in school. You’d been just the opposite... still were. After all, your roommate and you had been childhood friends. Maybe not the best of friends, but about as close as you had ever gotten to one. You’d hoped, when you were a kid, that she’d be your best friend but it turned out that she had liked someone different as a best friend instead. You had never mentioned it. Why would you? It wasn’t like you had many friends really and you didn’t want to risk losing the two people you trusted enough to call a friend anyway.


	4. 3 - Friends

Fortunately, or unfortunately, you didn’t see him again for a while; that just made you wonder all the more. It was edging on the beginning of spring and you were walking in the local park when a commotion nearby caught your eye. You noticed a group of teenagers seeming to be ringed around someone else. Their jeers made you remember your own past and it ticked you off. You didn’t hesitate to move towards the crowd.

“I bet she’s just using them to practice her skills in be-”

“HEY!” Your voice cuts off the sneering boy’s comment and the teenagers look over at you. Normally, you weren’t one to start a fight, but your blood nearly boiled when you realized that the person who was receiving the ridicule was Frisk.

“You brats better beat it.”

“Or what lady?” One said, stepping forward. It was the youth who’d been about to make a comment you were sure was not only rude, but insulting to Frisk and their monster friends all at once.

“Don’t talk back to me, punk. You’ll leave us alone if you know what’s good for you.” You snap... there were five of them all together, and just you and Frisk. You knew Frisk didn’t fight... and you weren’t sure you could take them all on your own, but as a shadow suddenly fell over you from behind you realized you wouldn’t have to as a familiar voice spoke.

“hey... you kids wanna have a b a d  t i m e?” The way he said it made you shudder, you couldn’t help it. The kid who’d been so brave before didn’t seem so now as he and the other teens had paled considerably.

“You don’t scare me, you’re nothing more than a knock off of a halloween decoration!” You risked a glance behind, Sans didn’t seem impressed or even bothered by the comment.

“that the best you can come up with? ‘cause you’re gonna need a lot more than that if you plan to tussle with me _Casper._ ”

“Whatever... let’s get out of here.” The others nodded and they walked off, though it was almost at a dead run and you really couldn’t blame them. Even with his pupils still in his eye sockets, Sans could be one scary skeleton when he decided to be. You glanced away, remembering the last time you’d spoken with him. Frisk smiled at both you and Sans.

*Thank you both.

“no problem kiddo.” He smiled at Frisk, but the smile the other returned wasn’t all that big, it wasn’t like when they were with Papyrus or Toriel. There was definitely something going on here and you wondered if Frisk had something to do with the last time you’d seen Sans. He still had his usual grin in place, but you were now wondering just how real that night was... he’d seemed so out of character, but if the half smile Frisk gave was anything to go by... then there was certainly some merit to the night you wish hadn’t happened. Frisk turned to you with a smile.

*Hey, what are you doing out here?

“I was enjoying the weather. I’m guessing school just got out for break?” Frisk nodded.

“You shouldn’t walk alone if that’s what happens.” Frisk rubbed the back of their neck.

*Normally I’m better at avoiding them... I just... was ambushed today.

“I see. Well, be more careful okay? You got a lot to live for ya know?” Frisk glanced away at that, causing you to frown.

“Frisk?” They shook their head.

*It’s nothing, thanks again ___ for helping.

You watched as Frisk picked up their backpack and walked off with Sans.

“see ya.” You didn’t bother replying, he wasn’t looking at you and at that moment you really weren’t looking at him either; you didn’t think you could simply pretend like that night hadn’t happened... even if he could. You went back to enjoying your walk in the park, but you couldn’t really think of anything except what had happened to Frisk and what that one boy had almost said. You knew some people didn’t like monsters... but insinuating what that boy had been... that was downright cruel and sick. Surly Frisk had not done anything to deserve that sort of treatment. You were sitting on one of the park benches when your phone vibrated, it was Frisk.

Frisk: Did something happen?

You: What do you mean?

Frisk: I don’t know... it’s just... you seemed... less friendly than usual with Sans... I know you two always joke around.

You: Well, yeah, usually.

Frisk: I KNOW Sans... he never passes up an opportunity to make a pun... even after... incidents that happened today.

You: That so?

Frisk: I know something had to have happened.

 

You hesitate, thinking about that night and wondering if you should say anything.

You: It’s nothing serious.

Frisk: ___, come on now. I’m not a little kid.

You: No, you’re not. Let me ask something.

Frisk: Sure, go ahead.

You: Just... how well do you really know Sans? Or any of the monsters?

 

There was a long pause before your phone vibrated with the answer.

Frisk: Well... pretty well. He’s... got some issues with some things. Some of it has to do with me, I guess... but... what does that have to do with anything?

You: The last time I talked to him he straight up told me he hates humans.

 

There was another pause, this one just a little more brief than the last.

Frisk: So he told you then. He usually hides it pretty well.

You: Yeah, you could say that... I almost liked him on the spot when I first met him and Paps. He was a funny guy.

Frisk: Yeah, his jokes are good.

You: I thought we’d get along... until a few weeks back when he came in one night by himself.

Frisk: It’s odd that he’d show that side to you, even when alone... he usually doesn’t show that side at all except around me.

You: What happened between you and him... if you don’t mind me asking.

Frisk: Well... it’s complicated.

You: Try me.

 

So you sat on the bench, scrolling through message after message as Frisk told you about falling down in the Underground, their first meeting with Flowey and their first death that followed in The Ruins, followed by how they could “reset” things by going back in time every time they died or if they wanted to re-do something they could “load.” It sounded like something made up by a five year old, but then again you had always had an open mind about things like magic so you believed every word that Frisk told you. Even down to the part where they’d been followed around by a ghost child, named Chara, who had helped them through it all and had become very vicious near the end, but before that had been perfectly nice and helpful. You honestly weren’t sure what to think. The teenager you thought just less than an hour ago couldn’t have possibly deserved the teasing they’d been getting... had straight out murdered the very monsters they were now living with... and not just one time either... but over and over and over again... just because they were bored with the “happy ending” of freeing them from the Underground. They had literally toyed with the lives of others. You remembered a time in 2015 when you’d experienced a lot of what people called deja vu... now you knew why.  

Some how, a part of your brain had remembered enough of those days that you’d had the feeling you’d done it all before... your brain hadn’t been wrong. You HAD done it before... apparently several times within the span of a month. That had been one looong month and now you knew why it had been. Frisk had reset a LOT... so they’d said. Even they weren’t sure of the exact number of times... but the vague number they had spouted off to the direct question you’d sent about how many times... it was in the hundreds... that was enough to have been nearly two years worth of time... at least by your rough calculations. The entire world was two years older than the calendar showed... and only two humans and two monsters seemed to know it.

Frisk: Normally no one remembers aside from Flowey, at least that was what I thought... but Sans... he remembered. Every time I died to him... he... he knew... he knew how many times he’d killed me... though he’d stopped counting at ten.

You: I... quite literally do not know what to say.

Frisk: I’ll... understand if you don’t want to be friends with me anymore. I know Sans hates me.

You: Hates you? But he came to your rescue didn’t he?

Frisk: That was only because he made a promise to mom. He told me himself countless times that if it hadn’t been for that promise... I’d have been dead.

You: That jerk! He’s worse than Undyne!

Frisk: Please... don’t judge him too harshly... he didn’t ask for what happened to him... and honestly, he’d pretty much lost hope of time advancing by the time I fell down because of Flowey. It’s not really his fault.

You: Bullshit! He might not have been in control of things, but that doesn’t excuse his attitude! Maybe he has every right to be angry at you... but he shouldn’t hate you! You DID free them all after all! And didn’t you tell me that you promised there’d be no more resets?

Frisk: Yeah...

You: Then what’s his problem? Seriously! You told me that he once asked you if you thought the worst person could change, if they could be good if they just tried. Who is HE to judge that if he can’t even do that himself?! Who is he to judge ME when I haven’t done anything to him! I swear if I’m ever alone with him again I’m going to give him a piece of my mind!

Frisk: Please don’t! You don’t know what he’s capable of! I didn’t even fully tell you all the times he killed me!

You: I don’t care. Not like I have someone to care about me like you do.

Frisk: I’m sure there’s someone who does.

You: No... not everyone is as lucky as you Frisk. Even if that _bonehead_ hates you, the others genuinely don’t... if they’re anything like Paps or Tori anyway. Sans should really be more like his brother.

Frisk: I dunno...

You: Well, don’t worry about it or me. I can take care of myself. I’m an adult after all.

Frisk: Okay... but... take care, okay?

You: You too, Frisk. And by the way... we’re still friends. In case you were wondering.


	5. 4 - Truth Bared

The talk with Frisk hadn’t really made you feel much better, in fact, it made you feel a little worse and it wasn’t long before the others began to notice that you’d stopped joking with Sans. You didn’t ignore him, but there seemed to be a quiet tension between the two of you; he tried a few times, but even though you would smile or giggle at the puns you didn’t start a pun contest with him again. One evening you found yourself working a shift in the wine department because someone else had called in sick; which was fine with you, it just meant more money. The last thing you’d expected to see, however, half an hour before the department closed, was the familiar blue skeleton. Did monsters drink alcohol? You could tell something was off right off the bat by the way he was stalking straight towards you.  _ I do NOT want to see him... damn it... why is he here by himself again?! _ He didn’t seem mad, at least that you could tell... but then who could really tell with skeletons? Yet, there was something about the way he was just walking that spoke volumes and there weren’t many people around who wanted to get in the way...  _ crapcrapcrapcrapcrap... _ He reached the counter, ignoring the only other person who was working with you; they were on the floor rearranging various bottles and obviously oblivious to Sans. In any other circumstance you’d be curious and fascinated with him, right now though you just wanted to disappear; you didn’t want to confront him, but you really didn’t have anywhere to hide. Feeling a little exposed and like you were a sitting duck, you didn’t say a word as the skeleton stopped at the counter. There was a long moment of silence and you wandered what it was the other could want.

“ya know, you’re getting to be a pain.” 

“Not like I’m trying.” 

“the others aren’t stupid, they know something is up between us and now they all want to know what it is i’ve possibly done to earn  _ your _ ire.”

“Well how about for being a jackass for starters? But that doesn’t seem to matter to you at all, since you hate me just for breathing the same air... if you even breathe.” He didn’t seem to know what to say to that for a moment.

“at least i know how to hide it.” You roll your eyes. 

“Sans, you don’t hide it half as well as you think. I knew there was something off about you the first time we met. Maybe they don’t say it, but I know Frisk knows how much you hate humans even if you’ve never outright told them. What IS your problem anyway? Yeah, humans did an awful thing centuries ago by sealing you monsters down there, but don’t tell me you’re holding a grudge for THAT!” He grunts.

“you wouldn’t understand.” 

“Wouldn’t understand what? The resets?” He jolts, not having expected that.

“The pain of being alone even when surrounded by people who tell you that they love you? The pain of feeling like you’re inches away from ending it all because you can’t bear to see someone else be happy? Because you feel like you’re a burden to everyone around you?” He just stared, the lights in his eye sockets had gone out, but you didn’t feel fear this time because there seemed to be nothing short of shock on his features at that moment as you pressed on, unaware that you had tears starting to well up and spill from your eyes.

“To think that you’ll never know happiness because nothing you do makes a difference? Because deep down, you know that no matter what you do... you’ll never be good-... good enough?” Stumbling over the last words, you clamp a hand over your mouth and rush from behind the register, leaving the skeleton to stare after you as you rush to the bathroom to try and collect yourself. You couldn’t have a break down here! You couldn’t! Not here... not NOW... not in front him... dear lord... anyone but HIM...  You felt sick to your stomach with all the pent up grief and depression that you’d been dealing with the past week. You rushed to a stall and what little you’d had to eat that night came up. This wasn’t the first time you’d made yourself sick from all of this... You sat in front of the toilet heaving until there was nothing left... fortunately your job required you to tie your hair out of the way so that wasn’t an issue... but after a moment there wasn’t anything left. You felt tears follow even as you flushed the toilet. Your sobs echoing the small tiled room and you were only grateful that no one could see you become this... You knew you were a mess. This was why no one had ever looked twice at you... why you’d never gotten past a couple of years of dating. No one understood you. No one cared to... it seemed that even monsters weren’t above being selfish...  

You don’t know how long you were in there, but you made sure you’d cleaned yourself up before you’d come out only to freeze. The last thing you’d expected was for the skeleton to follow you. He was standing just outside the bathroom doors, hands stuffed in his pockets and staring at the floor with a scowl like it had somehow offended him. Why was he still here? Could you maybe sneak past him? No chance of that, he looked up as soon as you’d moved, but the scowl vanished he seemed... different... you weren’t sure how exactly.

“look... i... didn’t mean to upset you... i’d never hear the end of it from anyone if they ever found out.” You don’t say anything for a moment, bitterness wells up inside you along with the despair that still lingered in your gut like a stone.

“What do you care if I’m upset? You’ve made it  _ perfectly _ clear how you feel about me. Just... leave me alone. I wish I hadn’t met you.” He narrowed his eyes, but you weren’t paying attention now, you were brushing past him to go back to work.

“I have work to do and if you aren’t going to buy anything then you should leave. Stay out of my life!” Had you cared to glance backwards, you’d have seen him watching you as you went back to the department. As it was, you were in too much turmoil to even care that something you’d said had gotten to the skeleton. He’d made you more miserable than you could ever remember being, but you still had a job to do.

“____ are you okay?” It was your co-worker.

“I’m fine, Mike. I just had something that disagreed with me.” He backed away seeing the look of bitter, cold fury. He wasn’t going to pry further. As far as you were concerned at the moment, you’d be all too glad if you never saw the skeleton again. Of course that was just wishful thinking. You knew it was likely going to happen again, but you weren’t going to treat him any differently than you had been. This was a free country, he could do whatever he wanted... within the law of course... and go wherever he wanted. He didn’t have to come HERE of all places, knowing this was where they were bound to run into each other. So you were all too relieved when you didn’t see him again that night, but as days passed you began to feel a little guilty. You really hadn’t meant to dump all of that on him... the person... monster... who had no reason to give two cents as to what you felt on a daily basis. You had practically dumped on him all of the stress and depression that had been building up since your last single friend up and told you she was engaged and they’d set the date. No one, you were sure, knew how this felt. 

To be left alone... the black sheep among people who were building their lives... moving on without you... You’d always been so terribly lonely as a child and now that loneliness was just made worse knowing that you were the only one among your friends who hadn’t found someone. Not that you needed that... you knew you’d just be a burden on whoever made the mistake of getting close enough to you for that; you didn’t want to be a burden, you never had wanted to be... which was why you’d moved out as soon as you’d gotten your first job... it was a pain, paying for bills in a harsh economy, but you’d scraped and shoved down all of your creativity... spending years doing work, coming home sore just to make ends meet before your friend had proposed sharing an apartment because she didn’t have a full-time job and had to move out because her parents were re-locating. You grit your teeth, shoving your hands in your pockets as you walked alone through the park; no one about took notice of you. Why would they? Why would the world stop for a broken hearted woman who had no future? No friends? No... the world would just continue on as if she didn’t exist. 


	6. 5 - Bonehead

Maybe if you hadn’t been so lost in thought you would have noticed them. It was really hard to miss a group of monsters after all, but of course you were too caught up in your self loathing to have noticed the group was playing frisbee in the field near the bandstand. You barely took note of Frisk until they ran up to you; making you nearly jump out of your skin.

*Hey! _____! Are you okay?

“Frisk...! Oh hey, sorry, you kinda spooked me. Yeah... I’m okay.”

*We’re playing frisbee, wanna join?

You risked a glance at the group... of course HE was there, he wasn’t actually playing though, he was simply reclining in a lawn chair, watching everyone else.

“No... I better not. I’ll feel like an intruder. I just came out for some fresh air really. I’ve got things to do today.” You say hastily, not wanting to make her think that you were just making excuses to avoid Sans.  Frisk seemed disappointed and you sigh; you couldn’t take disappointing friends and you didn’t want to give Sans the impression that he could ruin your friendship with the others; you _knew_ he was watching, even if he wasn’t currently in your line of sight. Lifting your head a bit, you gave the teen a smile.

“You know what? It can wait. Let’s play.” Frisk brightened instantly and ran over to the others.

“HUMAN! ARE YOU JOINING?”

“Yes!” You reply as you and Frisk jog over.

“Hells ya! Let’s see what you got punk!” You smirked, annoying Sans by ignoring him was going to be a perk; you were determined to not let the nihilistic skeleton ruin **your** fun with **your** friends. Toriel smiled as you did some stretches; trying not to think about Sans watching as you did so. You could feel his gaze on you and it oddly created a sensation you didn’t expect; you weren’t used to being watched by anyone for any reason... you felt annoyed and at the same time it filled you with a warmth that was odd and brought color to your cheeks. Why were you embarrassed? You didn’t think he would have any interest in you... did he think you still meant harm to the others? Well, whatever! You were going to show him just what type of human.... Person... you were!

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

i had hoped i’d run into her again so that maybe we could talk... no such luck with the others around like this... i’d no idea she’d known about the resets. how had she? had Frisk told her and if so... why? Frisk _hated_ talking about the resets as much as i do... not to mention talking about what they’d done during those times. so that wasn’t likely and she’d caught me off guard the other night when she’d snapped at me so suddenly with a venom that hadn’t been aimed at me specifically... but i’d swear i’d felt the sting of her every word as bitterness and something i had never thought to see in a human had been in her eyes that night. the broken, self-damning... self loathing look had made my soul seize up and i knew she’d been right... so had Frisk. i’d been a real asshole to her and she had done nothing to deserve it. by all reason she should hate me... should never want to be around me ever again let alone see me... yet, here she is, trotting over to play frisbee with Frisk, Undyne, MK and my bro as if i hadn’t made a critical mistake... like that scene a few nights back hadn’t played out. she can’t possibly be that forgiving... can she? i’ve seen her soul... like i can everyone else’s... it’s one reason of many why i was appointed the king’s Judge in the Underground... forgiveness is more of a trait of the green soul - Kindness. hers isn’t that. no where close actually... sure all humans can have more than one dominant trait to make up their whole... a secondary dominant trait that would overshadow all but the first trait... but while i’ve seen a good deal of kindness in her soul, it isn’t a dominant trait.

if anything... she is more like Frisk... and frankly... that’s what had scared me the first time she’d shown curiosity about me and Paps... because of what Frisk had done.... had decided to do with the power of their soul. i’ve become a rather awful Judge since coming to the surface. i’d been a fair Judge before Frisk had arrived... that kid had twisted me up with all the resets and the many times i’d seen them kill Papyrus and the rest just for their own amusement more than i want to honestly admit...  the others didn’t remember, or at least they didn’t seem to; it seemed that, if they do have dreams like mine... theirs are relatively short and passed off as just that... bad dreams. i know better though... me and that potted weed. it’s the only reason i talk to the flower nowadays; the two of us have never reconciled and i’m sure we never will... just as i’ll never really forgive Frisk for what they’ve done. He shook the thoughts away though as he watched her stretch. How had he missed it? There is a ... subtle grace to her movements as she stretches out her limbs for the game. She isn’t a supermodel in form by any means, but that doesn’t mean she is hard to look at either; in fact, he wagers a lot of people would say she had this sort of odd beauty around her... a beauty that sparkles to life with every smile and when her eyes light up in happiness... but as soon as her laughter is gone and her merriment... she wilts.... like a flower that needs watering. i never could have guessed that someone who had seemed like a social butterfly, who had been friendly enough to everyone at her job and seemed to be good at it... would be so.... so much like me. that she could so easily hide such a terrible... thing... about herself and no one knew it. just like with me... man... i’ve really done it now.. i just hope i can somehow make it up to her... first though... i need to talk to her... get her away from the others... even if only for a moment... and hope that she’ll listen.

 

**[Your POV]**

 

You swear he was watching you like a hawk the entire time. _I swear, I’m not sure what to think of that... why in the world do I feel like something has changed?_ You were smiling at Frisk as they signed about how they were having fun on Spring Break with all of their friends, but even as you did you couldn’t help but catch Sans in your sights. He looked like he was asleep, but you weren’t sure if he really had fallen asleep or if he was just pretending to. Like you were pretending that he wasn’t there at all. Why did it matter? That was another odd thing. Why should you care when he was so rude to you? Wait... rude? You laughed a little at your own thoughts. Customers were _rude_ to you... Sans... he was beyond that. You didn’t think that you’d ever met anyone like him. You tried not to think on it though as you “listened” to Frisk.

*Hey... you look like something is on your mind.

“Nothing important.” You reply, trying for a reassuring smile, but from their troubled look it’s obvious that you weren’t as convincing as you hoped.

*Is it... about Sans?

You sigh a little.

“I’m trying hard not to think about it. I’ll admit that I was thrown for a loop from what you told me...  but.. You know... all that stuff you did... it’s in the past right? You’re doing everything you possibly can to make up for it and him... well, he’s just stuck in the past isn’t he? Unable to get past what happened. I’ll admit it’s not an easy thing to do, but how long has it been? About two years now? He should at least make an _attempt_ to get over it rather than being so _judge-mental._ ”

Frisk chuckled.

*Nice one.

You smile a little, although you had done that on purpose, you hadn’t done so just for the pun. You had meant it to be serious too.

*I think all he needs is time... it’s all I can give him. If I thought it would help... I’d give my soul to Flowey... but he trusts him even less than he does me... and has pretty much kept me from trying. I did once and after he caught me he made sure Flowey and I were never alone together in the same room ever again... or has since that time anyway.

You frown.

“Who is he to judge what you do with your life? I mean, I can’t say that’s not a noble thing you’re trying to do... but at the same time... it’s probably for the best that you don’t; even if your intentions are meant to help bring back who he once was. You can’t fix everything you know.”

*I want to though... and... I know he thinks I can’t... but I want to try and bring back his brother too... and to help Chara... but... I don’t know how to help a ghost...

“You have a big heart Frisk, I understand that you want to help; I probably would too if I was in your shoes, but sometimes there are some people... monsters... who are beyond our help. No matter what we try... or how well meaning anything is that we do... they won’t accept it because, somehow... they can’t. Something in them is broken that just can’t be fixed.” You stare at the grass beneath you, thinking about the words you’d tossed at Sans the last time you’d seen him... You knew all too well that there were just some things in life that couldn’t be fixed by a simple “I’m sorry” or even any well meaning attempt to fix it. What was done was done. Much as you hated to admit that you and that bag of bones had anything in common... that was something you did. Your past wasn’t a pretty one, you’d come from a home that hadn’t been sunshine and rainbows... you hadn’t had people around you who did more than parrot the words “I love you” ... You had to pretty much learn life’s lessons on your own. You had grown up quickly... being so much more mature than all of your peers because of it... and that had been a problem all of its own...

That had been the reason you’d only really ever had two friends, because no one wanted to be around you... at least that’s what it seemed like. By the time you’d reached high school, you’d thrown yourself into just finishing the prison called school just so you could get away from those who had once made it their job to torment you at every turn and the grown ups couldn’t do anything about it because of legal crap. Because someone had made some stupid laws... you had essentially always felt that no one cared... because no one ever did anything to stop the torment you’d had to face day in and day out for years, because no kid was ever afraid of a scrap of paper or “having a bad record.” Maybe in the past such threats had worked, but in the time you’d lived in... it was nothing but garbage. A weak attempt to hand down discipline without actually doing so. You brushed away the thoughts. You didn’t come here to discuss or even think about how bad the past had been. You’d agreed to play with your monster friends and Frisk to get your mind off such things... even if that was what had driven you to walk to the park in the first place.

*I... I guess... but I don’t want to believe that he’s one of them... he’s a friend after all.

“I suppose I can’t blame you there. I wish I knew what to tell you kiddo.” At the surprised look from Frisk at the term you shift a little awkwardly.

“Eh... sorry. Bad habit of mine.” Frisk stares a moment then starts to giggle.

“What?”

*You’re just like him!

“WHAT?! I... I am not!” Frisk just laughs, the others looking over in surprise at the shout.

“There is no way I’m like that skeleton!” You didn’t care if you woke Sans at this point, though you did glance his direction; he had one eye open, but it closed seconds later. So he HAD been awake... or woken up. Oh well, what did it matter?

“Er... anyway, I should probably get going. I do have stuff to do.”

*Keep in touch, we’ll have to do this again! I had fun.

“Yeah... thanks for inviting me.” You smile and they smile back. You quickly bid your farewells to everyone else, excluding Sans, and hurry off. Unaware said skeleton was watching you the entire time or that Frisk had gone over to him to say something...


	7. 6 - It's Just Who You Are

So this was your life now. No longer as boring as you had thought because now you actually had friends. It didn’t really change much, but it helped... having Frisk around to brighten your day when you were at your worst at times... Undyne was always good for support, even if she didn’t always understand what was wrong... Toriel was the mother you’d never had. Actually caring for you and about your life, caring what you did... Alphys was a great buddy when it came to doing projects that included anime; though you only saw Alphys and Undyne when Mettaton was around usually or when there was a project in the area that Alphys was working on as the only monsters who had actually moved into the area were Toriel, Frisk, Papyrus and Sans. You always loved seeing Papyrus because no matter how you felt... you always felt like you could take on the world after just spending five minutes with the taller skeleton. Nothing seemed to get him down or anything and it was infectious. As for Sans... well, you saw him occasionally but had been determined to not speak with him. So you never started up a conversation, ever. You wanted nothing to do with him, though you could tell the opposite wasn’t exactly true with the way he was always watching... like he was waiting for some opportunity to say something... but never did. 

You weren’t sure why you felt that was the way things were between the two of you, but you had no desire to be around him if you could help it. You had to wonder how it was that he could even stand not breaking his promise if he hated humanity so much. With it being summer break now, you decided you’d drop in on Frisk and surprise them; you were thinking of treating them and Toriel to lunch... maybe even Papyrus if he wasn’t busy. You knocked on the door of the small home and waited a few seconds. No response. So you tried again. Maybe they were in the kitchen? There was the sound of quiet movement behind the door, but the one who answered was the very LAST monster you wanted to see.

“hey.” He was dressed in just a white T-shirt that read “punny bones” on it and his usual shorts and slippers.

“Er... is Frisk around?” 

“nah, they’re out with Tori and Paps at the moment.” 

“Oh... ah, well then sorry to have bo-” 

“hold up.” You stopped, wondering what it was he wanted this time. Why were you even still standing there?

“come in... won’t you? jus’ for a moment.” You really didn’t want to be alone with him again.

“I really shouldn’t. I was just in the neighborhood and thought maybe Frisk wanted to go out to eat or something.” He sighed.

“i just want to talk.”

“Right... just like last time huh?”

“yes... no! ... ugh!”

“I don’t even know why you’re bothering.” You turn, but find you can’t leave you blink as you find yourself suddenly dragged into the house and are tossed onto the couch. You knew it was his magic, you’d seen him use it before, but you’d no idea that he’d use it on you. In fact, the idea had never crossed your mind. Ever. 

“why is it so damn hard to just talk to you for five minutes?!” You stare, you could see he was frustrated, but you were a little too angry at being yanked around - literally - to care much.

“Maybe because I know that you hate me! You made that perfectly clear and so I’m trying to avoid you to save you the problem of having to deal with me!” 

“what?! why?”

“Because I care!” 

“why do you say that? don’t you realize how long i’ve been tryin’ to manage this! i just... look, i’m sorry about that night okay?” This was a shocking turn of events. He was ... apologizing? You rub your eyes with one hand as you try to let this all sink in, but he wasn’t done.

“i know it was unfair of me. i had no idea you even knew... i just assumed...”

“That’s part of your problem. You  _ assume _ too much. You think that everyone is just another Frisk just because we all happen to be of the same species. Well, newsflash, we’re not!” You couldn’t help snapping at him. This was ridiculous. He’d dragged you into the home without your consent only to apologize for something that had happened about four months ago and then suddenly accused you of ... well okay he hadn’t really accused you of being insensitive or anything... but you had been avoiding him on purpose. You weren’t sure what else to say now that the flash of anger was gone; in all honesty, you’d already worked out all your anger against him after learning about the truth from Frisk. You knew that was the problem with you. You were too nice. You always had been... and people had often walked all over you because of it. Not returning the nice gestures to you that you handed out without a second thought because, in spite of everything, you thought of others before you thought of yourself. His sigh breaks your trail of thought.

“i know... Frisk keeps reminding me of that. how did you even know about the resets?” 

“Frisk told me about their time Underground.” There was a long moment of silence.

“heh, you must be somethin’ special to get them to talk about that. Frisk hates mentioning it.” 

“Well... it was for a good reason.” You lean back against the sofa.

“They were trying to convince me not to be hard on you.” 

“really? heh... imagine that.”

“Well, regardless of how you think of them, Frisk believes you to be one of their friends and from what I’ve seen, they’ve been trying to make up for all those things they did. Maybe that’s not something that you can just make up for, but... at least they are trying. You can’t hate them forever... and it wouldn’t be right if you did. We humans... we can’t live forever. Even with the magic that Frisk has, up here... it’s not enough to keep them alive forever as I’m sure you’re aware. We’re not built with enough magic to defy death.” Sans looks up at you with a frown.

“what’s your point?”

“That while you probably won’t forgive them anytime soon... you should at least put in the effort to.” He snorts a little.

“effort? seriously? have you met me?”

“Sans. I know you’re not as lazy as your brother thinks you are.”

“... kid tell you that too?”

“No, I figured that one out on my own from what they did tell me. Look, I don’t expect you to change your mind over night, about them or me, but didn’t you once ask Frisk if they thought everyone could be a good person if they just tried? I am trying... and you... well... you’re starting to fail.” Sans was silent, brows furrowed in thought at your words; you were honestly surprised that he seemed to be taking what you were saying to heart. That he was  _ actually _ listening to you and not just hearing the words come out of your mouth like with most people you’d met during your life. For the first time, since you can remember... besides Frisk... someone was actually listening to you and weighing what you had to say rather than hurrying to make their own point or try to force their point of view onto you. That was what most people did. You weren’t sure why, but because he seemed to be actually listening to you, you felt... relaxed? Despite everything, you just couldn’t hold a grudge against the skeleton. Not that you hadn’t tried. You had every reason to, really, considering all he’d said to you, but you just couldn’t. 


	8. 7 - Not Entirely As It Seems

“you know... for not having a green soul, you’re awfully tolerant of me.” You shrug, you really hadn’t noticed. Sure you’d avoided him as much because you didn’t want to talk to him as because you were sure he would prefer it that way, but the idea that you were tolerating him never really came to mind and the longer you sat there the less tense you were feeling. You knew he didn’t mean you any harm anymore than any of the others did, even if there was still that intimidating aura around him... why was that?

“Green soul?” He chuckles.

“yeah, each human trait has a different color.”

“I see...” He had piqued your curiosity now.

“Will you tell me about it?” He moved over to a nearby armchair and settled in it, now that he knew you weren’t going to bolt on him; having closed the front door at some point behind him.

“sure. Green is for Kindness, Blue is for Integrity, Yellow is Justice, Orange is for Bravery, Light Blue is for Patience, Purple is for Perseverance, Red for Determination and... Black... for Hate.”

“And you know what color mine is?”

“yup.”

“How? I’ve never been in a Fight.”

“one of my abilities to be a Judge. i can see the traits of the soul and how much EXP or LOVE someone has.”

“What about me?”

“...” You couldn’t help your curiosity.

“What? Is it that bad?”

“no... just... it makes me look worse... you don’t have any EXP.”  You weren’t surprised to hear this actually. You’d never killed anyone after all, be they monster or human. You didn’t even like killing insects, but that didn’t mean you didn’t. Just that apparently anything considered a pest didn’t count towards EXP.

“I kinda guessed that, I meant my soul. What color is it?”

“eh... that one is kinda tough honestly... you have two dominant traits and i’m not sure which one is the main dominant...” Two? You wonder at that.

“So... what are they?”

“purple and red.” You let that sink in. Perseverance and Determination; the two were very similar, but it made you wonder which one could be more dominant than the other... the more you thought about it and various points in your life where one or the other would be most likely... the less you were sure yourself. The two were so close in being one and the same that it was kind of hard to differentiate between the two, but there was, of course, a distinct difference.

“I suppose I can’t fault you for not knowing... I’m not sure I could tell myself even if I could see it.”

“Well this is a pleasant surprise.” You both turn, surprised at the sound of a new voice. Toriel was standing at the door with Frisk and Papyrus, the latter of which seemed to be grinning happily and Frisk wasn’t any better.

“Ah...” You realize really quickly what they meant. For the first time in months you and Sans were actually holding a conversation... and one that was civil at that. You felt awkward, but Sans seemed to simply smile at the trio like nothing was out of place.

“hey, back so soon? have fun at the mall?” Frisk nods.

“IT WAS GREAT FUN BROTHER! YOU SHOULD HAVE COME WITH US!”

“nah, i would have missed _____ if I had.” You frown a little, why did that seem familiar all of the sudden? A sense of deja vu seemed to sweep over you. Wait... Frisk didn’t... You looked over at Frisk who wasn’t looking at you, but smiling at Sans.

*We had a lot of fun! There was a lot to see! The open-air farmers markets are sure something!

Sans chuckles, not looking at you anymore and suspicion begins to creep into you. Had Frisk reloaded the day or something? Now that you thought about it... this day had seemed a little off when you woke up. You began wondering if the two might have teamed up against you to set this up... You considered the idea then shrugged it aside. It really didn’t matter if they had honestly. After all, it had meant that you’d gotten to learn something and now you felt a little at ease around the skeleton now that you’d had your chat today. In all honesty, the idea that Frisk might have done so at Sans’ request made you only curious as to why he would care to repeat a day all for the sake of being able to actually speak with you. He hated humans. Why would he have cared to repeat a day just to talk with one? That feeling came over you again that you’d had that day in the park. That something was different about the skeleton, something he wasn’t saying but it was there... It made you really curious, but of course you knew better than to just blurt out something like that. Especially not in front of the others. While you realized Frisk probably HAD reloaded or something... you couldn’t be mad about it. Though you were honestly surprised it was possible. After a moment you realized someone had said something and they were looking at you.

“Oh... sorry, I think I spaced for a moment. What?”

“I asked if you would like to stay for dinner.” Toriel said with a smile.

“Sure, on the condition that I can help.”  Toriel smiled and Frisk bounced happily just as if they were a five year old instead of a teenager.

*Come on! Let’s go to my room!

“Alright.” You followed Frisk to their room, not sure what else to do while Papyrus and Toriel put away the bags they had brought.

*So, you two finally talked!

“Eh... yeah... I guess we did.” You spoke quietly so not to disturb the sleeping flower on the window ledge on the other side of the room. The room itself held a bed in one corner with blue sheets, a purple cover and a yellow pillow; pinned up along the walls were various drawings that Frisk had done over the years. On the other side of the room, a few feet from the bed was a computer station where there was PC with a drawing tablet and sticky notes everywhere.

*About time! I thought you’d never give him a chance!

“Eh... heh... about that... he ... kinda didn’t give me a choice.”

*Huh?

You sat on the bed and explained why you’d come by and how Sans had used his magic to drag you into the house and keep you there for the first few minutes before you’d just stayed on your own. Frisk giggled a little.

*I almost wish I could have seen that... he’s usually not that pushy... Come to think of it, he’s been acting a little weird since that day at the park.

“Weird? What do you mean?”

*Oh... nothing... just... he seemed really intent on talking to you for some reason. Normally he doesn’t care enough to pursue a person just for an apology. He doesn’t really care that much, tibia honest.

You can’t stop the chuckle, despite the seriousness of the conversation.

“Ah geez... well, I guess I made an impression or something then.”

*Well... maybe now you two can be friends. For real this time.

“Maybe, but I’m not going to hold my breath.”

*You should be more optimistic.

“Should I? ... Well, maybe, but I haven’t really had a great deal of luck in the friend department before I met you guys.”  Frisk frowned.

*How? You’re one of the most friendly people I know!

You shrug.

“Just the way things have always gone for me. I am not as openly friendly outside of work honestly, work forced me to be that way.”

*Well... you hide it well.

“Thanks?” You aren’t sure if you should really take that as a compliment or not.

*Still... he hasn’t shown that much tenacity with anyone before. Take it as a good sign.

“Alright, I will.” _Why though? Surely there are others more deserving than me... and why would he waste his time befriending a human when he hates us? Unless... maybe he doesn’t really?_


	9. 8 - On My Mind

You didn’t keep track of time normally, except when you had to for work; so it was really odd that you found yourself even screwing that up. You were even almost late to work one day; you couldn’t help it, you couldn’t stop thinking about what Frisk had said about Sans. It had only been a week since the two of you had... well, you hadn’t exactly “made up” but maybe come to an understanding? In that amount of time you’d managed to have a series of unfortunate events since then. You’d run into a sliding glass door at work while trying to push a shopping cart inside... that had been embarrassing. You’d also ruined a shirt the day before right after you’d put it on by dropping toothpaste all over it... then there was dropping half your lunch earlier today... burning supper the night before... You’d also stepped in dog crap while at the park... accidentally ended up wetting your shirt that same day while trying to take a drink from the local water fountain... That was just the tip of the iceberg, really, of things that had gone wrong at one moment or the next because you’d found your mind had drifted off to that wisecracking skeleton. What you couldn’t figure out was why. You barely even liked the guy... why was he taking up so much of your thoughts lately?

“Are you okay?” You blinked and looked a customer you knew well. You hadn’t realized you had been staring.

“I’m sorry Kristine, I just... I’ve been thinking about this guy way too much-”

“Oh? A possible boyfriend then?”

“Heh... no, he hates my guts.”

“That’s a shame. He must be out of his mind to not like someone as sweet as you!”

“More like out of his skull... heh... he’s a skeleton monster.” It was almost comical, watching the blonde woman’s brown eyes widen at this new information.

“No! Don’t tell me that you’re in love with a monster! Good for you!”

“Oh my god no!” You start laughing, you can’t help it.

“Sans and I aren’t even friends! There’s no way!”

“Oh, well that’s a shame. You really do need someone to take care of you. Especially after that awful break up you had after you came here six years ago.” You sigh.

“That was awful... but I don’t need someone to take care of me. I have my friend remember?”

“Yeah, but didn’t you tell me she was getting married soon?”

“Yeah, but I’ll find another roommate. Don’t worry.”

“Well, you take care of yourself okay?”

“I will. I see you actually brought a grocery list in this time.”

“First time for everything, just as you told me once! Not that it helped all that much, I still ended up getting more than I planned and-” You let her ramble on. Kristine was an older woman who had adopted you the moment that you’d met her; she had latched onto you and had been the first person to treat you like you felt everyone should. In fact, you were sure she and Toriel would get along splendidly if the two ever met because they seemed to share that aspect. You ended up telling her several times, before she left, that you were sure that you didn’t feel any such thing towards Sans and that it was just that he’d done something out of character and that was why you were thinking about it so much. You were sure you weren’t lying. After all, you weren’t a sadist; you didn’t like that sort of thing, especially not on an emotional level. You had enough crap from the past, there was no way you wanted to get tangled into a mess with Sans; sure you had come to an understanding of sorts that day at the house, but that didn’t mean he liked you any better. He didn’t really seem the type to do such a 180 anyway. It would be too strange for anyone, in all honesty, and it certainly wasn’t believable that anyone, especially not someone as judgmental as Sans, to do so. That was something that was only in fairy tales... and those stories usually weren’t that believable. Who the heck would so quickly be nice to someone after claiming to hate their entire species? Sure Sans had apologized... and **maybe** some day you’d be something like friends before you passed from this life like all humans did. The thought of that made you wonder something.

How old WAS he? Certainly a lot older than you were; there was little doubt about that, you were sure, but was he like grandpa age or older? You knew, from talking to Toriel, that monsters could live a looong time and that, despite being a rare type of monster, skeletons were on the high end of long life, provided that they weren't dusted in battle. Usually living as much as four centuries. You knew, from the little information that you’d gathered from Toriel about the first two humans that had fallen, that at the very least... the monsters had been trapped in the mountain since at least the end of the time many liked to call the Medieval Era. That was, at the very least, one thousand years from the current year. You tried to pay a little more attention for the rest of the evening, but it was hard to now because you were really curious. You decided you’d ask Frisk, if anyone knew it would be them... right? As soon as you got your break you sent a text.

 

You: Frisk... I was wondering... hold old is everyone?

You: *how

You: stupid autocorrect.

Frisk: heh

Frisk: Everyone?

You: Yeah... Tori told me monsters live a long time.

Frisk: She told me that too... honestly... I’m not sure. I never asked.

You: Really? Now I’m even more curious! I know that monsters have been down there for about a thousand years... give or take.

Frisk: Yeah... I just... never thought it’d be polite to ask, ya know?

You: I guess... I’m gonna ask next time I see one of them! I can’t help being curious.

Frisk: *chuckles* I never really considered it.

You: You’d make friends with anyone... and apparently you’re friends with a bunch of old ppl xd

Frisk: Ha! Aren’t you one to talk?

You: lol, yeah.... I’m no spring chicken.

Frisk: You at work?

You: Yeah, it’s break time, I’ve got a few minutes to spare.

Frisk: Cool, when’s your next day off?

You: Umm... let me check a sec...

Frisk: Ok

You: Tomorrow.

Frisk: Cool! Want to come have a picnic with us?

You: Sure! What time?

Frisk: We’ll be at the park at noon.

You: I’ll be there!

 

The next day you set the old CD player on the band stage, you’d plugged it in in the nearest outlet. You’d gotten permission to use it from the City Hall people; fortunately City Hall was only a few yards from the band stage that was often used in the summer for all sorts of things, including live concerts, but today, this early in the morning, almost no one was at the park and that left you time to do this. It was something you didn’t do as often as you wished, but you did it more for fitness than actually anything else. You hit play after stretching out. Completely unaware of the audience of one that was standing under a nearby tree several yards away. The music flowed out and you began the simple exercise of punches and kicks as the lyrics began.


	10. 9 - Moment of Weakness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Last One Standing" by Simple Plan

**[Sans POV]**

 

i decided to head to the park early to do some thinking. the last thing i expected was to see her there... what was she doing? i could see that she was wearing a set of form fitting slacks and what looked like maybe a sports bra... or something like it. she’s not in the best of shape, but i could see from the way she was stretching that she was about to do some sort of exercise. at least she tried keeping in shape, or that’s what Paps would say. i never bothered with it myself, though i have to admit that her choice of first song on that old player was not one i wanted to hear because of what it was about... i’ve heard the song before.

 

_How many times are you gonna try to shut me out?_

_I told you once, told you twice, I ain’t gonna turn back around_

_You can say whatever, try to mess with me_

_I don’t care, I’m not scared_

_You don’t have to say you’re sorry, save your sympathy_

_With a friend like you, I don’t need an enemy_

_I would give you time if you were worth it_

_But guess what, you’re not worth it_

 

_Whoa-oh_

_Whoa-oh_

_I’m always gonna be the last one standing_

 

i couldn’t help it... the images that flash before me are my nightmares... nightmares that were really memories of timelines before ... of the times the kid had killed...

 

_Whoa-oh_

_Whoa-oh_

_‘Cause I’m never gonna give up trying_

 

_And now I’m ready to go, I’m here, I’m waiting for you_

_And I’m gonna be the last one standing_

_The last one standing_

 

_Did you think that I would surrender easily?_

_Just like that, you were getting rid of me_

_Is that the way you saw it all go down?_

_I don’t think, I don’t think so_

_There’s not a word you can say I haven’t heard before_

_So give it up, give it up unless you want a little more_

_You think you’re pretty tough, so let’s throw down_

_It’s alright, I’m alright_

 

crunching... the sound of a painful gasp....

 

_Whoa-oh_

_Whoa-oh_

_I’m always gonna be the last one standing_

 

_Whoa-oh_

_Whoa-oh_

_‘Cause I’m never gonna give up trying_

 

a figure that kept coming back... again and again....

 

_And now I’m ready to go, I’m here, I’m waiting for you_

_And I’m gonna be the last one standing_

 

_I won’t give up, I keep trying_

_(I’m always gonna be the last one standing)_

_It’s not over, I keep fighting_

_(I’m always gonna be the last one standing)_

_I won’t give up, I keep trying_

_(I’m always gonna be the last one standing)_

_It’s not over, I keep fighting_

_I keep fighting!_

 

blood splattering... the vroom of gaster blasters... i know it shouldn’t bother me, but it’s like it happened yesterday...

 

_Whoa-oh_

_Whoa-oh_

_I’m always gonna be the last one standing_

 

_Whoa-oh_

_Whoa-oh_

_‘Cause I’m never gonna give up trying_

 

_And now I’m ready to go, I’m here, I’m waiting for you_

_And I’m gonna be the last one standing_

_And I’m gonna be the last one standing_

 

_Whoa-oh_

_Whoa-oh_

_The last one standing_

 

_Whoa-oh_

_Whoa-oh_

_The last one standing_

 

i’m not sure when it happened, but after a moment i found myself on my knees, shaking. the next thing i know she’s standing near me, asking if i’m okay...

 

**[Your POV]**

 

You were rockin’ out, doing well and it was simple and second nature, but as you were turning to complete a kick you fumbled in shock at the movement of blue nearby. You saw immediately that it was Sans, what was he doing here?! You could tell that something was wrong immediately. He had fallen to his knees and was clutching his head. Without a second thought you sprinted off the stage and over to his side.

“Hey, Sans... you alright?” The song ended as you knelt there, worry in your eyes. You might not be friends with the guy, but you had a soft heart; you couldn’t bear seeing someone in pain and at the moment the skeleton looked like he was suffering. You’d no idea what could have caused it. The song switched to something else, but you tuned it out as you put a hand on his shoulder. He jolted and looked up, his eyes seeming to refocus suddenly.

“Hey...” You say softly. Sans seemed to slowly come back from... whatever it had been, letting go of his head and looking at you with what you can only think is a mix of horror and regret.

“Calm down, you’re okay.”

“i... uh... damn... this is embarrassing.”

“Well, I promise I won’t tell anyone as long as you don’t tell anyone about this outfit.” That got a small chuckle from him.

“deal... um, can i ask though what you were doing?”

“Tae kwon do, I used to take classes when I was younger, but I got bored with it; it’s a form of martial arts. I use what I remember of it just for exercise now.”

“i see... you seemed to be doing it really well.” You shrug.

“Just simple stuff.”

“hope you don’t mind an audience.” You felt your cheeks heat a little as you realize he’d been watching you.

“No, not really. Though I’m not really used to one. You sure you’re okay?”

“yeah. i’m good, just .... uh... don’t play that first song again.” You nod and go back to the player, making sure that the loop was off before you settled into going back to doing basic punches and kicks, then moving into the first form, the second forms, the third... you went through several... as far as you could remember before returning to doing simple kicks and punches.

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

it made sense now, what i’d seen hints of before; the grace that she seemed to have when she moved on a day to day basis. it was the same i’d sometimes seen Paps have when he’d do drills with the other sentries. even so, the grace that was here was more like the practiced movements of a dancer than a fighter; there just was never a lot of power behind the movements she made. it kind of reminded me of one of the former humans that had fallen down before Frisk. one who’d loved to dance, i shook away those thoughts as i watched her. why exactly had i come here again? oh, right... i’d had one of my nightmares and didn’t want the others to know about it... so i’d taken a shortcut here. i hadn’t expected anyone to be here really, as most people were working this time of day; but there she was... she seemed a little self-conscious as she started up again, but she seemed to lose it after a while and got into a rhythm. i didn’t really recognize any of the other songs on the cd she had, but as soon as the music finally ended, so did she stop what she was doing and checked the time. i did too as an afterthought, it was now twenty minutes until noon. crap.

well, not like i haven’t just disappeared before... the others would be here soon. i watched her gather up the player and head to her car, i admit that i was both relieved and surprised to see her pull out a duffel bag and head off to the building a few yards away where the bathrooms were. when she came out she was wearing blue jeans and a navy t-shirt. she she smiled at me when she joined me again. i couldn’t help but think about the outfit i’d seen her in before... had anyone ever told her that she was beautiful the way she was? he wondered if she was one of those who had never been told that.


	11. 10 - Nerves

You were sure that, even if he didn’t know it, that Frisk cared an awful lot about Sans. Like everyone else, they were worried until they’d arrived at the park to find the two of them sitting on the sidewalk beneath a tree. You two hadn’t been really talking about anything in particular, but Frisk had bolted and nearly knocked the skeleton over in a hug. It was kind of cute really, seeing the others fuss a little over him and his sheepish reaction to their concern. It made you feel warm inside, seeing them genuinely care for one another; something that had been sorely lacking in most of your life. It wasn’t long afterwards, after he’d put everyone at ease with puns, that Frisk had turned to you.

*It’s good to know he’s been here with you. What were you doing here so early?

“Nothing much, just thought I’d come enjoy the weather and scope out the place before I met everyone.” It wasn’t a total lie, but you weren’t going to admit to the whole exercise routine either.

*What were you and Sans talking about? He wasn’t here long was he?

“Not sure how long he was here before I ran into him, but we weren’t really talking about much before you showed up.”

*You like him.

You stare at Frisk. Where the heck had that come from?

“Wait... what?”

*You keep glancing towards him. It’s okay... he’s a pretty likable guy once you get to know him.

“I guess... I mean, maybe someday we’ll be able to really be friends like you said before.” Frisk frowns a little.

*That wasn’t what I meant.

“Well, it’s the best I can hope for. I only wanted to be friends in the first place when we met. I mean... I don’t really have many friends around here.” Frisk frowned.

*You shouldn’t let that stop you.

“It’s not... wait... what are you implying here?"

*That you like him.... But not as a friend.

“Frisk!” You hissed, feeling a bit of warmth rise to your cheeks. Frisk grinned.

*I knew it!

“Look... okay... he’s not exactly my type, but since we ... talked... I’ve enjoyed his company. That is it! I swear... what is it with everyone trying to play matchmaker in my life?”

*Oh? Someone else say the same?

You sigh and tell Frisk about the woman who had “adopted” you the first year that you had been here and about how you hadn’t grown up in this state but elsewhere.

*She sounds nice, like Toriel almost.

“Yeah, I thought that myself after I met Tori.” You relaxed, talking more about her and feeling more at ease now that the conversation had shifted from the topic of Sans. You weren’t sure why, but the topic wasn’t one you wanted to speak on. It wasn’t like he was being hostile to you or it was any big secret now or anything. Still, there was just something about him that made you feel nervous so you didn’t really feel comfortable talking about him; especially when he was so close as to being within hearing range. Whether he’d heard you or not didn’t make a difference, but you felt that talking about him to Frisk while he was there was just borderline rude.

  


**[Sans POV]**

 

i have to hand it to her, the more i kept an eye on her the more i began to see just how much she actually cared about the others. she humored my brother, even seemed to treat him like he was her own at times. i don’t know how i had missed it before... how she treated Frisk like a long lost friend every time she saw the kid, despite their age difference, how with Undyne she easily tolerated the former head of the royal guard’s brashness... how she seemed to accept Tori’s mothering as if she’d been born as the goat monster’s child instead of as a human... heck, she even geeked out with Alphys and - if what i’d heard from Frisk about the times Mettaton had visited her - she had rocked out to a lot of music with the robot, Napstablook and Shyren. watching her now, talking to Frisk, it was easy to see how she’d just seemed to fit in with everyone... but as i watched her laugh at something Frisk had said, i began wondering where i fit in. she and i hadn’t really had a lot of interaction... mostly due to my own fault. i’d told her that i hated humans and had gone out of my way to make an ass of myself. truth was... i didn’t really hate all of humanity... just those who happened to have a soul like Frisk... because only those with large amounts of Determination can reset and... well... her soul was like theirs. sorta. it made me uneasy... it didn’t help honestly, that she happened to like my puns and was willing to joke back with me... just like Frisk had through the first couple of runs before going genocide and then back to pacifist. i knew though that it’d be a good long while before i could make things up with her...

i’d been a real jerk from the get go... i hadn’t given her a fair chance. i had even told Frisk about what i thought of her and Frisk... well, they hadn’t been happy about it. they’d given me an earful for it actually. it hadn’t surprised me too much that Frisk had, i mean... they’re human too... but some of the things they’d said that night sorta stuck in my mind and i saw too clearly i’d probably made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. looking at her soul now, i could see that currently it was overlapped with kindness and a great deal of patience... it was almost like she was flipping through all the human traits that i knew of.... Except hate... i had only seen that one time... that awful night... when she’d snapped at me... only then had i seen any trace of it. i’m almost positive she hates me... and i don’t really blame her. of course there was one of the other traits i had noticed was lacking... bravery. i can’t say she was a coward by any means, but she didn’t really seem to have a lot of this trait either.

i’ve never been a coward myself, but... tibia honest... being around her always has sent this chill through me. not like one of fear exactly... just... a feeling. like something terrible is on the verge of happening. there was something else too... apparently there was another color to her soul... one i can’t place. it made me a little uneasy seeing it because i wasn’t sure what this ninth trait is.... the color is that of bronzed gold... even more unnerving is that it seems to flare up around me. when i’m close to her it seems this new color shows itself. Alphys asked me to test this, to see if it was just me that it flared up around... so far... it has been. then again as far as i know i’ve been the only one to antagonize her. against my better judgement, i’ve already planned for her to meet the weed... seems she hasn’t yet and it’s probably for the best. he’s even more unpleasant to be around for everyone than i likely have ever been for her... after all... it was just one night with her and me... well, two technically, but him... he’s never cheerful. so... the next time everyone’s out except me... i’m going to introduce them and see what happens. i just hope this doesn’t backfire on us. maybe that’s why i’m havin’ so much trouble just approaching her about it... because i don’t want to screw up again...

 

**[Your POV]**

 

You weren’t sure why, but the entire time you were sure that Sans had something to say to you and yet he didn’t. He just seemed to be glancing at you every now and then as if to say that what he had to say he didn’t want anyone else to hear.

“Hey, um, I’m gonna go talk to Sans... he seems like he wants to tell me something, but doesn’t have the nerve to.” You say after a moment.

*Um, okay then. Good luck! I still say you should give it a chance!

You hold back a groan, you’d heard Alphys talking to Undyne about it too... apparently the yellow lizard was shipping you with Sans right at that moment... why oh WHY?! It wasn’t like you were a high school girl or something like that who would so easily fall for a cute guy with a sense of humor just because his friends- wait... cute? Where did that even come from?! As you walked towards him though, you had to admit that you wouldn’t call Sans scary by any means. You weren’t a necrophiliac or anything like that, but his appearance didn’t bother you either; then again at your age - having to grow up so fast, even now still more mature than your peers - what did? Puppies were cute, skeletons were.... Well... not exactly cute, but that didn’t make them ugly either. Maybe your mental thoughts had just tossed that in because you were comparing reality to a bunch of daydreams. Was Sans cute? Not your definition of cute. Kittens were cute.... Babies were cute... most babies, animal or not, were cute... Sans... well, he was Sans wasn’t he? You shook away the strange thoughts. Maybe you needed that vacation more than you thought, your dad had promised to take you on one in another month or so. You hadn’t had a real vacation since before you’d started working at the store about five years ago.

“Hey.” You said, dispelling your own thoughts. Sans seemed startled that you’d gone over to where he’d been lounging beneath a tree a few feet from the others.

“heya. somethin’ on your mind?”

“Was wondering the same of you actually.”

“well... i figured if you’re gonna hang around us all the time you should meet the other one who lives with us.”

“Other one?”

“yeah... there’s one other monster who lives with us currently. i think that it’s not right that ya don’t know about him... even if he’s not much of one for being social. want to meet him?”

“Sure, i mean... he can’t be much worse than anyone else i’ve met.”

“ouch.” You shrug.

“Sometimes the truth hurts.”

“yeah... well, you aren’t wrong... at least about that... anyway... i’m sorry. i... i didn’t give you a fair chance.” You shrug a little.

“You’re not the first one. You probably won’t be the last, but thanks anyway.” His gaze shot immediately to you, but you were watching Frisk and who was being chased by Papyrus and Undyne. Their laughter made a smile tug at her your lips, but only he noticed that it didn’t really reach your eyes at that moment.


	12. 11 - On the Edge

Sirens sound in the distance, you sit on the edge of the roof, looking down; watching the cop cars go by. No one knows you’re up here. Not that it would matter if anyone did, because you knew no one really cared about you. Your only family that cared was miles away, your two friends would probably care but then forget you even existed as they moved on with their lives. You were alone. This was the tallest building in the area, or at least the tallest one you had figured you could get into without being noticed as long as you walked through the entire place like you belonged there and were on an important mission rather than just wanting to go sit up on the roof. You’d slipped past everyone who was in the building without too much trouble. No one had even so much as glanced your way twice as you’d moved passed people who were dressed in sharp business attire and were going about their work day, oblivious to the reason for your visit and not really caring why you were there or questioning your presence there. You were a good actor after all, those lessons you’d had in college for fun proved to be very useful when it came to deceiving complete strangers. It was also a bonus that few people used the stairwell so the only people you passed honestly was a couple of janitors after you’d taken the elevator to the second floor. You’d climbed about thirteen flights, give or take, to get up the roof. Normally such doors were locked, but you guessed that someone had been lax today. So it was your fortune really. It was a long way down. It would be so easy... a simple hop and... no more you. Twelve stories wasn’t a drop most people could walk away from...

 

**[flashback]**

 

You stood in the room. Frisk’s room. You’d seen the flower before, even been told he was a monster, but you’d never really actually met him. No one had talked about him really, not even Frisk. Now you could see why, the flower had a rather sour expression as he peered at you.

“Another human... what is this? Some sort of joke trashbag?” He aimed the comment at Sans who didn’t seem to care about the obvious insult.

“the lady wanted to meet you.”

“What? You expected me to grin and say “Howdy! I’m Flowey!” ?” The flower snorted.

“I’ve heard about you. Sort of.” The flower’s gaze shifted to you, it was weird how his eyes were only black slits while the mouth was a little more close to a sort of cross between a small muzzle and a normal mouth; you weren’t sure how else to describe it even in your own mind. The flower’s petals were bright yellow, reminding you of buttercups.

“So... you wanted to meet me, huh? Well now that you have, go away.” You were undetered by the sourness, curiosity sparked in you.

“Why?”

“Huh? What do you mean why? What part of “go away” do you not understand? Are you that stupid?”

“No, just curious.” The flower sneered.

“Curious? What am I? Some side show freak for you to gawk at? Oh let’s all go look at the talking flower with **no soul** and see if we can’t get it to change by showering it with love and affection!”

“Soulless huh?” You didn’t realize that Sans had left the room. Flowey growled, but you weren’t really intimidated by the flower, it was in a pot after all... and what could it really do to you? You were pretty sure you could handle whatever it tried dishing out.

“Pathetic human.”

“Well, you’re not wrong.” The flower jerked back, apparently not prepared for your response.

“You can see my soul... right?”

“No. That’s something only smiley trashbag can do and even if I could why would I waste my time on a weakling human?” You shrug a little and before the flower can say anything you inch closer and for a brief moment your heart emerges. The flower’s eyes widen as it sees the unusual coloration that seems to surround your heart. It’s silent when it disappears.

“He he he he he! Wow... you really are some kind of special fucked up aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“So why aren’t you dead yet?”

“Guess it’s because I’m a coward when it comes to pain.”

“Pathetic. It only hurts for a little while... or not at all if you do it right. Why not just find a building to jump off of?”

“You know... maybe I will.”

“Good.” You move away from the flower and head out with a quick wave to Sans and what, you hope is, a cheerful smile before leaving the house.

 

**[Present]**

 

You look down. Would it hurt? Not like anyone would miss you, right? Well, no one who wouldn’t just move on with their life anyway. You close your eyes and lift your head to the warmth of the sun. The words soft as you spoke to no one, words that Frisk had once told you that Sans had said to them so many times...

“It’s a beautiful day out. Birds are singing... flowers are blooming, and on days like these... people like me should be burning in hell...”

“i disagree.” You yelp, spinning around; forgetting you’re sitting on the edge of a building. You slip and suddenly find yourself falling back in the air and you suddenly realize that the voice that had startled you so had just sent you off the edge... literally. All you could think was how ironic it was that the one to send you over the edge was the very one who had apologized about hating you just a few days before... You close your eyes as the second of hovering in mid-air is interrupted by gravity’s natural pull.


	13. 12 - Magnanimity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's Never Too Late" by Three Days Grace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's be honest... you really didn't think I'd kill you off did you? certainly not this early on! I need you alive dang it! lol, this would be a REAL short story otherwise! ... and i'd need to change the title cuz little hard to save someone when you're 6 ft under...
> 
> magnanimity - to be magnanimous, generous in forgiving an insult or injury; high-minded, noble

_This world will never be_

_What I expected_

_And if I don't belong_

_Who would have guessed it?_

 

You swore you could hear the lyrics, like you were in some sort of movie; well, a tragedy anyway. That was your life. You had lived a shitty, novel-like tragedy and now you were sure that your life was about to come to its abrupt - ironic - tragic end. Yet you didn’t feel the impact as you thought you did... instead, all you felt was a sensation that was a lot like flying. You were sure then you must be dead, because you knew that humans couldn’t fly.

 

_I will not leave alone_

_Everything that I own_

_To make you feel like it's not too late_

_It's never too late_

 

_Even if I say_

_It'll be alright_

_Still I hear you say_

_You want to end your life_

 

_Now and again we try_

_To just stay alive_

_Maybe we'll turn it all around_

_'Cause it's not too late_

_It's never too late_

 

As you hear the lyrics you begin to feel something else... something fluffy and soft... and the song... it’s not just in your head. You can actually hear it faintly drifting through the air.

 

“Turn that down or turn it off. You’ll disturb our guest!” A familiar voice whispered just outside, or rather, it sounded like it was both far and close at the same time. The music seemed to disappear then, but you’re not sure if it was turned down or turned off. You didn’t care, you didn’t want to wake from the feeling; you were so comfortable.

 

“As for YOU... you have some explaining to do.”

“please... Tori... can’t it... can’t it wait?” You scrunch up your face a little at the second familiar voice.

“Fine, but consider yourself in the dog house until I hear this story of yours.” A sigh was the response. Slowly you opened your eyes despite not wanting to. You realized you were in bed, well, laying on a bed to be more precise, the covers beneath you were a little rumpled, but the room itself was surprisingly tidy... well... except for that weird ... was that a self sustaining tornado in the corner?! You blinked... sure enough... there were several socks and scraps of paper whirling around in it. You could only stare. In the same corner was a sliding door closet. You tear your gaze away from the science-impossibility... at least you’re pretty sure it’s not scientifically possible to have such a thing in a room without it just destroying everything... The bed was positioned against one wall, the only window was between the bed and the opposing wall with the tornado. There was a nightstand with an alarm clock on it nearby. You looked at the time. According to the clock it was two in the afternoon. Well, okay... so you hadn’t been out more than maybe an hour? You really hadn’t checked the time when you’d been suddenly plunging off a twelve story building. You shifted to stare at the ceiling and nearly gasped at the detailed galaxy photo that lay just above. It was beautiful, and, in all honesty, you hadn’t expected to see it. One thing hit home, you recognized those voices outside belonging to Sans and Toriel... but you weren’t sure whose room you were in. There was the sound of soft footsteps. You closed your eyes. Well, you were obviously alive if you were in Frisk’s house. You just weren’t entirely sure how. You had plunged off a twelve story building... right? You tried to sort through your thoughts. What was the last thing you remembered seeing? Well... not so much what as who. As you’d twisted about in surprise you’d seen Sans. How had he known where you were? Wait... there was something else... as you lost your balance you remember seeing a flash of blue... like his jacket but... not... had... had that been Sans’ magic you had seen? You knew all of the monsters could perform magic, and while Frisk had only passingly mentioned some of the things their friends could perform, you had not heard - not even in Frisk’s confession about the genocide timelines - about what Sans was capable of. You had figured the reason behind that was because it brought up painful memories; things that they wished they could forget. You’d assumed that, since he was brothers with Papyrus, that his magic was mostly the same. It had never occurred to you that his powers would be different than Paps’ magic. As you thought about it though you realized, oddly, that you hadn’t felt any fear even when you’d tumbled over the side. It was almost like you had known that you were safe... that you’d be okay regardless of what happened. There’d been no sense of panic at all. Like... _is it even possible this has... happened before?_ You wondered at the deep sense of deja vu... but that couldn’t be possible... right? You’d never met a monster before the small group had come to live here... so then... how?

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

saying i screwed up would be putting it nicely. i can only imagine what that weed had said to her to make her do something that stupid... sitting on a ledge like that... so close to the drop... if i was anyone else... i wouldn’t have been able to save her... her blood would have been on my bones and i know it all too well... i know i have to face her again. to apologize... shit but this is gonna be difficult. i don’t even feel i have the right to be near her... why the hell did i think it was a good idea for her to meet that weed in the first place? curiosity? humans have a saying “curiosity killed the cat” ... in this case... it almost made me a murderer... Frisk would never forgive me if something happened to _____ while i was around. i didn’t expect her to be awake though when I walked back to my room, but when i stepped into the room she turned her head towards me.

“h-heya.” i stuck my hands in my pockets, like usual... i can’t meet her gaze though.

“Hey.” there was sort of an uncomfortable silence between us for a while.

“I guess I owe you a thanks for what you did.” i shook my head.

“nah, you don’t owe me... ‘specially seeing it was my fault you were there in the first place.”

“Huh?” she seemed confused.

“i shoulda known better... about it being a good idea to leave you alone with that... **weed** .” she was silent a moment, i almost wanted her to do something... to say _anything_... she should hate me... should be yelling at me about the stupidity of the mistake i had willingly made all because of some stupid curiosity. she didn’t.

“No. That wasn’t your fault. I wasn’t up there because of what Flowey said... or anything you’ve said to me... I know you hate me... hate humans. You said so right?” i had said so... but it wasn’t the whole truth... i didn’t get a chance to reply.

“I was up there because of how things are for me. It’s not the first time I’ve thought of doing such a thing. You know.... Though... despite everything... I forgive you.” my gaze snapped to her now... my sockets were probably as round as basketballs because... just then... i saw it. shimmering along her soul almost as brightly as the two traits i’ve seen fighting for dominance.... what could i say? I had done nothing to deserve her mercy... her forgiveness... and yet she was offering it without a second thought. was this that unknown trait? was it... forgiveness? no.... that was too easy of a word for it in my case... this was more than a simple kindness... simple forgiveness... it clicked then. i knew now what that trait was... and i would probably tell Alphys later when i remembered to... but that was the last thing on my mind because, tibia honest... i had no idea how to respond.


	14. 13 - Deja Vu

It was almost comical. Seeing him stare at you with such surprise. Did he expect you to hate him because he’d startled you off the ledge you’d been considering jumping off anyway? That was almost funny... in a dark sort of way. You smile at him. You didn’t hold a grudge against the skeleton before you, how could you? Knowing his past and what he’d had to suffer through... watching the people he loved and cared for die again and again and again... You really couldn’t imagine going through that, especially since you’d never really felt loved by anyone except your own father. Sure your last love interest had _said_ the words, but he apparently hadn’t meant them. Not the way you’d hoped anyway; after all, if he had meant it... wouldn’t he have understood you better... or at least tried to? Wouldn’t he have attempted to do what your new friends have done for you? Not just say the words... but actually show he cared by doing the little things in life that truly mattered... sure you didn’t live with any of the monsters, but you knew so much about what they did on a daily basis that you might as well. You knew how Frisk’s day was... you knew what books Tori had read recently... what music Napstablook was going to try and mix next for Mettaton’s show... you knew what anime Undyne and Alphys were currently hooked on watching... you even knew about most of the pun-exchanges between Sans and Papyrus because Papyrus would always rage about it and text you to help him calm down. Even though you loved Sans’ puns, you could always make Papyrus feel better about whatever it was that he was meaning to talk to his brother about. It was like you were apart of the extended family Frisk had with the monsters, and you hadn’t even known any of them a year yet! Never had anyone been so welcoming... so accepting of you... not even your own flesh and blood seemed to put forth even one tenth of the effort that the monsters did every. Single. Day. You felt comfortable around them, even if you hadn’t told them about your past; it didn’t seem to matter to them whether you said anything or not. They accepted you for who you were now, not who you’d been, because or in spite of what you had gone through; they were genuine friends with you because of the person you had proven to be with them since you had first come into their lives. Thinking about it, at times, made you want to cry; sometimes in joy... sometimes not.

“____ ... i...” Sans looked away, it was clear he wasn’t sure what he should say.

“Sans... about... about what happened... I... I have the feeling it’s happened before.” Sans shifted to look at you, his surprise had been replaced by thoughtfulness.

“what do you mean?”

“It’s just... I should have been scared or... something...” You brow furrows a little as you think about it.

“I wasn’t though... I didn’t feel anything like it... it was like.... like I KNEW what was about to happen. I mean, not that I knew I was going to fall, but that I knew I was safe when I saw you... and... that flash of blue... Have... have you done that before?” Sans frowned, seeming to think on your words. Obviously you hadn’t known Sans before now, so why would something feel like deja vu then? You really weren’t expecting him to have an answer...

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

i was surprised when she told me that she felt like it was deja vu. usually that meant that Frisk had reset or something, but i know for a fact that isn’t the case here. i guess she didn’t remember the event... but then again, who would? it had happened five months after we monsters had first been freed from the Underground. things were... sketchy really. some humans accepted us without question while others... made it plain that they weren’t likely to trust us any time soon; especially since humans had spent so many centuries writing fairy tales about us and painting us in such a negative light for so very long...  

 

**[Flashback]**

 

i stood outside the building with the others. Everyone was okay... or at least Frisk, Undyne and i were... Undyne and i were the only ones there with Frisk when the threatening caller had phoned in during the press conference. i wonder if there was really a threa-

 

**BOOM!**

 

it happened so fast, i only had time to react. keeping the debris off everyone on the street with my magic... i looked up as people screamed... scrambling to get away. flames licked at the building. there’s no doubt anyone on that floor was likely dusted... but there were people trapped in the two stories above too... i knew i had to help. firefighters were on the scene to put out the flames, but they didn’t arrive fast enough as a second explosion cut off any escape route for three people. i saw ‘em on the roof of the building. one of ‘em was a young woman who seemed to be the only one not panicking. i swear my heart dropped as I watched her sit on the edge of the roof. she  wasn’t going to... was she? i had my answer seconds later, screams erupted from people around us as the woman just hopped off the edge of the building. i caught her in my magic and set her down; she didn’t seem conscious though, the others i lifted up and down to safety... though they screamed about it until they realized what i was doing... i didn’t get a good look at the jumper... i wasn’t sure i wanted to. that had been the action of someone who had nothing left to lose... it was like a punch in the gut. seeing someone do something like that...

 

**[Present]**

 

“T.... the embassy bombing... I... I remember it...” she says slowly, hesitantly.

“yeah... i ... uh... reacted on instinct there... plus... it just made sense at the time... ya know? i wanted people to see us in a better light... i had more optimism then.”

“Sans... I... I’m sorry.”

"eh? what for?”

“Because.... I was the one who jumped.” that was the last thing i expected her to admit. she didn’t seem proud of it or anything as she glanced away from me then. there’s no doubt about it now... she’s got some serious issues.

“kiddo... why were you even up there?”

“I was just thinking. About what it would be like... to die.”

“it ain’t really pleasant.”

“I suppose not... at least not the way you met your end with Frisk.” i couldn’t argue that, but that wasn’t exactly what i’d meant either. sure it had hurt like hell to be killed by a knife... but that wasn’t the only way the kid had killed me.

“death isn’t really painless when you don’t just die in your sleep.”

“Guess not.”

“____... why?” she shrugged, the casual way she did made my soul clench... and that look in her eyes when she met mine again... how many times had i seen that same look in the mirror while in the Underground?

“Why not? Not like anyone would really miss me. I mean, yeah, some people would care for a little while... then I’d simply be forgotten. After all, I’m nobody special. I’m just another human... a face in the crowd... the whole “you’re special and unique” stuff is just a bunch of bull crap that the media feeds the populace. I don’t buy it. I’ve nothing to offer the world that it wants so why should I take up space?” if i could have paled... i think i would have... it’s one thing to think something, but to hear someone else spout the same things you’ve thought about... or there about... it’s a different ballpark.


	15. 14 - The Scene That Plays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kudos to those who can pick out what Disney song this title references.

You weren’t sure what you expected; telling him that much, but it was true wasn’t it? The truth wasn’t always pretty; much as you wished you could have a life like what Frisk had... it simply wasn’t so. Still, you didn’t expect the look that crossed the skeletal features, it wasn’t one that you could put words to, but that didn’t stop you from understanding it. It wasn’t sympathy or empathy really; it was the look of someone who knew what your words meant... who truly knew and wasn’t about to simply treat you like you were fragile because of it. You weren’t a child, after all, you were an adult and your decisions were your own. You didn’t really feel much as you’d said those words; you could tell that something you had said though had seemed to get to him. That maybe he wasn’t so uncaring after all... You were full of bitterness, and sorrow... anger at others for doing what they did to you... to Sans... to your monster friends... to Frisk... all because they could... because they were scared...

“The real monsters of this world aren’t like you... they wear smiles to charm their prey and they make you **think** they are good... but deep down inside they’re twisted by greed. By their own needs and only look out for themselves in the end... they sneer at you for making a mistake... even if they’ve made mistakes themselves... the so called “understanding” they seem to have vanishes in an instant if you don’t cater to their every whim at the drop of a hat while you’re at your job. Like they think you owe them something they haven’t earned... some respect or servitude from you... like you’re supposed to kiss the _fucking_ ground they walk on just because they’ve chosen to shop at your store...” You can’t help the bitterness that swells in you, you know you've startled Sans because you almost never curse.

“Or maybe they hold a grudge against you just because they took what was meant to be a joke the wrong way... even after you apologize and try to explain... oh no... they’re too GOOD for your attempts to make amends... and when you screw up... they’re there to crucify you...” You’re pretty sure Sans is just staring at you now, but you don’t care... you hurt... and you’re just _so_ sick and tired of it all.

“And you do your best to smile at all the strangers who come to you, despite that most of them are too wrapped up in their own damn lives to do you the courtesy of even smiling back or acknowledging that you even exist in front of them... that you’re not just some robot... that you’re an actual _living_ breathing thing... ” You don’t really register the hot tears that run down your face as you go on.

“I just... I’m so **sick** of humanity! There’s barely anything humane left in it since technology planted itself into everyday lives! It’s like the world became full of robots and it just gets worse with every new thing! I just... I... I can’t do this anymore...” You nearly jolt when you feel his arms wrap around you. You are startled to find that not only is Sans trying to offer some measure of comfort, but that he’s actually warm... rather than the cold that you had expected from someone who doesn’t have a fleshy covering like the rest of your monster friends.

“it’s okay.” He murmurs softly next to your ear and you close your eyes as you simply cry against his hoodie. You don’t know why you’ve told him all this... or any of it really. Didn’t he hate humanity? Hate you? Why was he being so nice all of the sudden? Well... it didn’t matter, you exhaust yourself in crying against him. All the energy draining from you and the darkness of sleep slips over you.

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

i wasn’t sure what to tell her, i’ve never seen anyone with such a broken look before... well, without looking in a mirror anyway. Frisk was right... she and i really were a lot alike... but unlike me... she’d not let all of the hurt and suffering turn her bitter against the world to the point where she didn’t care about how she affected others. i’d made such a huge mess of this... she shared my love for puns and i see now how i really should have been helping her rather than dragging her down... why didn’t she hate me? i’m not sure i understand why she doesn’t... but at the same time... i’m actually glad; because if she didn’t hate me... then maybe i could actually work on being friends with her... on being the friend i **should** have been from the start.

 

**[Frisk’s POV]**

 

I felt bad for her. I know things had to have been pretty bad for Sans to find her on a rooftop like that; she’d seemed such a cheerful person to me, but even so I could always tell that she was hiding something. Not that she ever talked about it with me or the others. I mean, none of us knew that she would go that far; it was a real shocker. How could someone who always greeted all of us with a smile want to do something like that? Someone who seemed so positive all the time while helping me deal with all of the prejudice I got... particularly because I lived with mom instead of wanting a human foster family. Not to mention being the ambassador for all of monsterkind... I got some flack from some of my teachers who thought I had considered myself special just because I was the ambassador... but I don’t really. I work just as hard as all the other students! I can’t help it if I’m not as good as some others about learning certain things... and why do they require me to get some stupid diploma anyway when they don’t teach anything really worth learning? I learned all my cooking skills from mom, I’ve learned how to properly defend myself from training sessions with my dunkles... Paps, Sans and Aunt Undyne... I’ve learned politics, sorta, from dad... Aunt Alphys has been great in introducing me to anime as well as science.... Mettaton, while not being around much since becoming a star, always was happy to help me with fashion tips whenever he was in town. Why would I want any other family than the one I have? I guess they just don’t understand or want to believe that the family I gained down there was a lot better than what I’d run from. That my monster family treats me a lot better than any human has... well, except for ____. She wasn’t the only human to be nice to them, but it seemed she was the only one who really seemed to not have ulterior motives other than simply being friends with them. It was like I’d gained a big sister I didn’t know I needed in my life. That being said, I couldn’t help but almost jump for joy when I went to check on Sans and her only to find that she seemed to be peacefully sleeping in his arms. Fortunately I think I was able to retreat before Sans could see me, but it was so sweet! She might have denied before that she liked him, but I am certain now that... somewhere, deep down... she really cares about him. Alphys is gonna be so psyched when I tell her! I almost squealed in excitement! I really hope they do get together! I mean... they had a really rough start, and honestly... if anyone deserves someone like her to make them happy... it would be Sans. He really has suffered a lot... it wasn’t just me that did it, I know, and I’m trying really hard to make it up to him... so of course the first thing I do when I get downstairs is start hatching plans via text with Alphys on how we can get them together.

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

i’m not entirely sure of who i saw move just out of my line of sight... but i’d bet almost anything that it was probably Frisk. they seemed to react the worst to the news about her being on the roof, even if i hadn’t told any of them why she’d told me she’d been up there in the first place. i know Tori didn’t ask when i relayed everything, but chances are she’ll give me the third degree later on that... i think she knows more anyway than she is lettin’ on and held back for Frisk’s sake. that kid has enough to worry about as it is and since everything turned out okay there’s no real reason to explain that much. i just hope they don’t get any ideas from Alphys... the last thing either me or her need is Frisk and Alphys trying to play matchmaker again... wouldn’t be the first time Frisk has attempted to get me to go on dates with someone. i’m just too lazy to put forth the effort... and, admittedly, a little too scared to. i don’t want to get attached to someone like that only to have it all ripped away some day. until that brat is gone for good... and i know resets won’t happen... i can’t afford to care that deeply about anyone; if i did... welp... i’m not sure that i’d be able to keep my sanity around the kid once they did reset... if at all. it’s just better this way.


	16. 15 - Healing Touch

You feel warm. Comfortable. Safe. You aren’t sure why you feel this way when you were sure that not long before you had just been through one hell of an emotional upheaval... You frown slightly as you remember this. Wait... You had been talking to Sans and... You felt your cheeks heat up slightly as you begin to realize that you were still in the skeleton’s embrace. _Well, this is embarrassing... I just blurted out all my fears and stuff to the guy who hates my guts... real smart ___... reallll smart..._ You think back over everything... he should have pushed you away... he should have looked down at you like everyone else... Not... not held you like you were something precious that needed to be protected. Like you and he were the best of friends... Had you missed something? Why was he being so nice to you all of the sudden? Was it because you’d helped him when he’d freaked out? Was this his way of repaying you back for it? That had to be it. You’d been there for him so of course he’d returned the gesture. _Well... I guess he’s not a total ass then if he can manage to at least help me out in return._ You shift a little, expecting him to say something, but when he doesn’t you look up in surprise. _He... he fell asleep?!_ You can only stare, his eye sockets were closed, you could feel the gentle movement of his chest against you that mimicked breathing, though you were pretty sure that he didn’t need to breathe... he **was** a skeleton after all. In all truth, you were fascinated by him, who wouldn’t be? He was a living skeleton... sure he was a monster and that wasn’t the same as a human skeleton, but that was part of why you were curious and fascinated by him and Papyrus. Obviously magic was how they existed and moved about, but... how many bones did they have?

Could they produce body parts with their magic, as some speculated? Like a tongue for example? Was that why he seemed cushiony? Did Sans have a magic-made stomach? You’re curious, but you don’t want to be rude... and even if he is asleep... you know what an insomniac he is thanks to Frisk... you don’t want to risk embarrassing yourself further so you simply let your curious thoughts be fueled by your imagination for now. Maybe you would ask him later, if he didn’t find the question too personal or something; heaven forbid you make things worse by offending him with something he would find personal. There were a lot of questions that still surrounded monsters and how they functioned on a daily basis. A lot of people were curious, and some monsters had agreed to answer such questions, but none of which were skeleton monsters. Apparently they were rare among the species of monster, that just made you all the more curious. Why were they rare? Was that some genetic design or because of humans? You couldn’t help your curiosity, but you knew better than to just spout questions without thinking; you weren’t some naive child after all. You consider slipping from his embrace, but you don’t want to wake him; not after he’d been so uncharacteristically nice to you. Instead you close your eyes again and let his warmth sink into you as you snuggle closer; not seeing the faint blue tint that crosses his cheeks.

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

i musta dozed off myself at some point, because feeling her move jolted me awake; i wasn’t sure how she’d take it so i decided to pretend to still be asleep. then at least i wouldn’t have to worry about answering awkward questions or anything. i wondered if she’d notice i wasn’t asleep... until she suddenly snuggled against me. i swore i about jumped outta my skin... or would have if i had any. heh. it was, honestly, the very last thing i expected her to do. she was treating me like i was a part of her family... sorta like what i’d expect with Tori. was she even fully awake? it’s hard to tell with humans sometimes....even if she wasn’t... just how deep did her forgiveness towards me run? did she merely have the pretense of it... or did she actually truly forgive me... like the color that had graced her soul seemed to suggest? what about what she’d told him? why would she think like that? when i heard her breathing soften again i risked opening an eye socket to look down at her. i felt guilty, immeasurably so... here was someone who had needed a friend to stand by them... who was suffering in silence... and i had only added more cracks to a soul that was full of them. how this soul was even stable i’ve no idea... i’ve never seen a soul so damaged as this one before... its colors so dull that they’ve nearly become black... like she’s clinging to life just because of some instinct rather than because of the reasons that everyone should have to live... like family, friends, a love of life itself... i couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d told me before she’d passed out... now, i’m not usually one for tears... but after hearing all that... i almost wanted to cry. how could she be alright with thinking such things about herself? about her own species?

 

**[Your POV]**

 

When you wake up a second time you find yourself alone. You wonder if you imagined earlier, except for the fact that you notice now that Sans’ hoodie is now draped over one side of the chair and said skeleton is leaning forward on his hands in that chair, a pair of blue and black headphones on his skull as he seems to be listening to something... or possibly; it’s hard to tell from where you’re at. His shoulders seem to be hunched and he’s mumbling quietly to himself... or was it that he was playing a MMO and talking to other people? You couldn’t make out what was being said properly, but you didn’t really understand the snippets you did make out anyway. It sounded very technical to you. Knowing you couldn’t sleep all day, you slowly sit up, watching the monster. This had to be his room... why the heck where you in **his** room? Wouldn’t it have made more sense to be in someone else’s? Like Toriel’s or Frisk’s? You rub your eyes and look around, realizing it’s dark outside now. How long were you asleep? You felt a little like an intruder. You think that you should get his attention, but at the same time you don’t really want to interrupt whatever it is that he’s doing. He sits back with a quiet sigh and rolls his shoulders... like he’s working off some tension or something. Your hands twitch a little at that, you were self-taught by a book on good massage techniques, but you wondered if they would work on a monster... well, a skeleton monster anyway. There was no way of knowing. You slipped from the bed and walked over to him, your bare feet didn’t make much noise on the warm carpet below, it was, you’d noticed earlier, the same as the rest of the house.

An odd color of green that was darker than grass. You pay it no mind, nor the fact that you’d noticed earlier that the walls of the room seemed to be painted a muted blue and only now in the dark of the evening seemed to be almost like the room was made of stone... you weren’t sure you understood that and yet at the same time... a part of you seemed to. It was like him, in a way, a mystery that you began to wonder if you’d ever understand. You were pretty sure that you were about to startle your host when you stood behind him, but you couldn’t stop the temptation, it was something you’d done for your father, your grandfather - when he’d been alive - and had even done for your previous love interest. You were no professional, but you knew what you were doing. Still, would it have any affect on a monster that was made of bone? Well, only one way to find out; if he was startled it didn’t show as you skimmed your fingers along his shoulders, digging your fingers against the bony places where you knew human muscle was. Instead of him jolting, you did as a soft groan was pulled from him; you were also surprised to find that he seemed to be a lot softer than you were expecting. Yes, he was definitely made of bone, but it wasn’t the rock hardness you were expecting beneath your fingertips. It made more questions pop into your mind, if he was just made of bone and magic... how could he feel softer than a chicken bone? Was he really more soft edges than hard? Your mind began to wander as you automatically went through the motions as he seemed to melt to your touch.


	17. 16 - What Should Have Been Before

**[Sans POV]**

 

i wasn’t that into the page i was writing, and translating, for Alphys when she woke up again. i can get wrapped up in my work, sure, but i’d been translating wingdings for several hours and i knew it was about time i took a break. i didn’t hear her come up behind me, but i had seen a bit of movement when i’d taken a drink from a ketchup bottle. so i wasn’t surprised she was up, but i was a little surprised when she came over and began the massage... i’ve never had one honestly, but i could tell that was her intention - and i’d read about such things - i’d no idea if it would work for a monster like me but apparently it did... or maybe it was just the intention? needless to say i felt the tension seem to seep out of me under it. it felt amazing, honestly... who knew?

“you’re pretty good at that.”

“Thanks.” i could tell from the slight shift in her touch that i’d startled her a couple of times. it was almost cute really. 

“you ever do it professionally?”

“No, self taught.”

“mmm, well you got a magic touch or somethin’ there...” i risked a glance over one shoulder at her to note that she seemed to be blushing a little though she didn’t stop the massage.

“I wasn’t sure it would work.”

“me neither... but you have no idea how wonderful that feels.”

“I... figured it was the least I could do, since you’ve been so... ah... hospitable to me.” hospitable. right... shit...

“look, i... uh... i’m not really good at these kinds of thing really, but... i want to apologize.”

“What for?”

“everything. i’ve been a real _monster_ to you and _tibia_ honest... you don’t deserve it.”

“Well, you hate all of humanity so-”

“ah, not _all_ of humanity... i’m sorry if i ever said so. truth is... i judged you without having a proper reason to... i only really hate those whose souls are like Frisk’s... and your soul... well... it’s similar but at the same time... it’s not the same. you’re _nothing_ like how Frisk was then and i shoulda given you a chance to prove it. your soul... it’s almost nothing like that brat’s. yeah, you do share the trait of Determination, but that ain’t a good excuse for how i’ve behaved.” i probably should have met her gaze, but i just felt too guilty to. so i started a little when i felt her fingers brush my cheek; the touch was so gentle that i couldn’t help but jerk my gaze to hers. she really was the sweetest human i’ve ever met.

“Thank you, but it’s okay Sans. I won’t hold it against you.”

“ya got every right to... why? how can you just forgive like that? i .. don’t understand.”

“Honestly... I don’t entirely understand it myself, but... I think it’s because I know there’s more than enough hate already in this world. I’m not perfect... I don’t really like humanity, but... I have to do my best to make myself better than most... at least... I try.” she stared down at her hands that now rested on the chair, as if they would provide some answers to whatever thoughts that seemed to be swimming in her mind just then.

 

**[Your POV]**

 

“i... just don’t get it. how can you do that?” His sudden question cut into your thoughts, catching you off guard. Had you missed something while off in thought?

“Do what?”

“be so kind and just... wonderful to us but... not yourself?” You were left speechless. What could you say to that? Especially when he continued on with such sincerity?

“i mean... you have a lot goin’ for ya kiddo. Frisk showed me your art and some of the stories you’ve written... it’s... beyond some of the stuff i’ve seen over the centuries...” Your eyes widen. Centuries? Just how old **was** he?! He smiles a little.

“you also have a way with people... you have a pun-iful sense of humor... and you’re not bad to look at either.” You feel your cheeks heat, when was the last time you’d heard someone praise you like this and actually do so without expecting something in return? You shift your gaze away from his again. He couldn’t really mean all that... it just seemed too surreal.

“What do you want from me?” You ask after a moment, there had to be something... right? Flowey had wanted to see you suffer like he seemed to be, other humans wanted favors or just to see you squirm... your last boyfriend had wanted sexual stuff... your roommate wanted money for rent and a housemaid... Toriel wanted to have someone to love as her own... Mettaton craved attention... Papyrus wanted recognition... Frisk wanted someone to rant to... Undyne wanted someone to beat the crap out of... Alphys wanted someone to share anime with... you hadn’t met any other monster yet, but you were sure you would eventually. The only one you couldn’t seem to read was Sans... and everyone had a different opinion on him, which left you rather baffled. What could he possibly want from a woman who was part of a species he didn’t really like?

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

“want?” what did she mean by that? i tried to figure it out by searching her face, but she seemed to offer no answers as she met my gaze again. i swore that if i’d met her before this that we would have been friends... that i’d be able to make her smile with just a look...

“i wish you had fallen instead.” it was the first thing that came to mind; i could tell my answer left her more confused than anything.

“Why?”

“because i know you would have done what was right the first time... you and i would have been good friends...”

“How can you know? You barely know a thing about me.”

“no? i know that you love to walk through the park, that when you genuinely smile your eyes sparkle like the stars... that when something really makes you laugh you sometimes snort...” as i went on, i watched her expression change from uncertainty to surprise to a bit of annoyance to... something i’m not sure i can describe or put words to as i rambled on about everything i’d come to know in the short few months she’d been in my life... our lives.

“that you prefer to wear jeans more than anything, but you secretly love the feel of a skirt swishing along your skin on a summer’s day... that you want to wear dresses but don’t because you can’t see how beautiful you are.” she opened her mouth to protest likely, but i wasn’t going to give her the chance.

“you sing when you feel a specific emotion, or just love the song, when you think no one can hear you... when you think no one is watching, you sometimes seem so tired even when you’ve slept just fine... you blush when something deeply moves you...”

“Sans , stop... I swear you’re starting to sound like you’re my best friend or a stalker.” i couldn’t stop a chuckle.

“i’d prefer to just be called observant, i assure you i’m not stalking you.”

“Coulda fooled me.”

“heh, you’re around us so much i kinda don’t need to.”

“That’s Frisk’s doing.”


	18. 17 - Dinner

You nearly regretted saying that when you saw the curiosity in his eyes... if one could call the two points of light in eye sockets “eyes;” his expression didn’t change too much so how did you? Then it hit you, you’d been around him so much that you’d begun to pick up the subtle hints of change to gauge his expressions; his brother was no different. It was odd really, because they didn’t seem to be just bone and magic... while they didn’t have skin it seemed that whatever the top layer was on their faces allowed for movement to act like the missing facial structures that humans had. You weren’t sure why his answer to your question had been... that. You knew you wouldn’t have fallen - you would have jumped... with the hope of never seeing another day. The silence that followed was a comfortable one. When had you become so comfortable in being alone with him?

You knew he’d made you edgy from the moment you’d seen him, like he was a hoodlum fingering a blade... but now... it was like the feeling had just vanished and after a moment you wondered how you’d become so cozy with the skeleton. You weren’t really afraid of death or skeletons, but it was a little odd, you realized, to be so comfortable with was was essentially a walking symbol of human death. That it didn’t bother you at all was likely why you got some strange looks at your job whenever you had served him with the same smile that you had given the usual human customers. There’d been plenty of customers who hadn’t seemed to want to come down your line after they’d seen the skeleton with his friends. That was neither the here or now though, you couldn’t help but wonder how it was you’d become so cozy with Sans when before he’d always made you uneasy. Like a snake that was just waiting for an opportunity to strike... it was like that snake had suddenly become a plush for you to hug... a warm one at that.

“i know that look.” He, you realized, had swiveled in the chair now so that he was sitting backwards as he met your gaze.

“What look?”

“ya got that look that says you wanna ask something.” You couldn’t help the slight laugh, if only he knew!

“Something? Sans... you have to be the most mysterious person I’ve ever met!”

“really now?”

“Yeah, why else do you think I asked you what you wanted? I can easily read people around me by just watching how they behave. I know what they want from me, but you... you’re different. It’s not because you’re a skeleton either, I can “read” your brother just fine.”

“but not me?”

“Not you. I guess if you’re “stalking” me I should admit to “stalking” you right back... even if all I’m after is seeing what you want.” You joked a little, earning a smile of amusement from him even as you went on.

“I don’t even know what it is you do for money. Tori is a teacher, Frisk gets paid to be the Ambassador by Asgore, Papyrus is a famous chef, Undyne is a bodyguard, Alphys is a scientist... Asgore - whom I haven’t even met yet - owns a profitable landscaping company... you... you could be doing a lot and yet... I’ve no idea. No clue even from talking to everyone else.”

“heh, well... i kinda get around.” You raised an eyebrow.

“before here i was a comedian and a sentry. i still do the occasional stand up gig, but... i mostly keep an eye on Frisk.”

“So they weren’t joking when they said you were like their warden.”

“yeah. well, i guess it’s something of a habit i got into. i don’t trust ‘em, but can’t have someone getting to ‘em either.”

“That’s what Frisk’s told me.

“can ya blame me?”

“No.” The two of you lapsed into a comfortable silence and you were just thinking that maybe you should get going when you heard a familiar voice.

“SANS! HUMAN! DINNER IS READY!” You turn to see Papyrus standing in the doorway. How long had he been standing there? You hoped it wasn’t long.

“IT’S GOOD TO SEE YOU ARE FEELING BETTER! COME DOWN WHEN YOU’RE READY!”

“thanks Pap.” You smiled a little in return and the taller skeleton left the room. Well, at least you hoped that no one had seen anything before hand as you turned to go wash up in the bathroom for dinner, since you knew Toriel wouldn’t take no for an answer without you ending up feeling guilty about it. As you washed your hands in the warm water you felt a pleasant tingle as your mind recalled the warmth of Sans’ embrace from before. You quickly shook away the feeling as best as you could as you felt warmth try to creep into your cheeks. No. No way. There was no way you should start thinking like that about anyone. Especially not him. There was no logical reason for such feelings, no basis for them really; well... okay, yeah he _did_ save you from plunging to death off a building, but you knew that gratitude for something like that only went so far before it encroached on the boundaries of being weird and obsessive.

 _I am absolutely not becoming obsessive about a skeleton who once told me he hated humans._ You thought as you dried your hands and then headed downstairs... but only after you made sure you weren’t blushing or anything. You figure you’d embarrassed yourself enough today as it was, you really weren’t out to do it again any time soon. You smile as you settle yourself into the only empty spot at the table, which was at one end with Sans on your right and Frisk at your left. Flowey was sitting on the table on the other side of Frisk, across from him was where Papyrus sat, leaving the final space for Toriel.

“Smells great as always!” You chime before digging in. You listen to chatter all about you, the conversations are easy and light and you smile between bites but you don’t say much this time around and no one pressures you to. Though you smile at Sans when he shoots you one and you’re sure the easy companionship that now seems to be settling between the two of you hasn’t gone unnoticed by the rest there. You notice that while no one else says anything about it, Frisk is signing to you.

“Sorry, didn’t catch all of that.”

*Have you two finally made up?

“Made up?”

*Yeah. I mean... are you two friends yet? Or....

You feel yourself grow a little hot at the implication that you and Sans would be something other than friends.

“N-no! I mean... I think it’s a little early to tell if we’re friends. I mean... things like that... they take time right?” You squirm a little, all too aware that Sans is watching you. That just makes you feel even more nervous. Wait. Why were you nervous about this? You did want to be friends with him... right? You nod mentally to your own question and calm down; of course you did! After all, he was the one who had caught your attention the very first moment you saw him; sure you didn’t know why you’d felt a chill run down your spine then... but it all made more sense now... he’d made one helluva first impression, that was for sure.  

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

i have to admit, i was a little intrigued as to what the brat had to say. especially that pause after the “or” which made me wonder what it was the kiddo was up to. then it hit me... Frisk had gotten Asgore back with Toriel and they’d always told me about how ___ and I were so alike so it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to realize that Frisk might be trying to set us up. this kiddo was a real little matchmaker... despite having flirted with practically every monster in the Underground except yours truly... or if they had i guess i didn’t notice. it’s not that i don’t know how or anything, but let’s be honest... i’m a little too old for the kiddo and after the crap they pulled... why would i even think of something like that with them? i had every reason to hate ‘em... not saying i do... but i don’t trust them. period. heck, i spent the first few months not letting that kid outta my sight around the others until i realized that they really weren’t going to hurt anyone and were gonna keep that promise about the resets. so i can’t say i was too surprised by it, but it was really interesting seeing the way ___ blushed in response. tibia honest... it was kinda cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so if you're not obsessing... what are you?


	19. 18 - Birthday Party

It had been a month since you’d had that little thing with the building and gotten to understand Sans better. You were relaxing after a day of work when your phone vibrated, you opened your phone and put in the password before seeing that you had a message. You had everyone’s number in your phone now and wondered who it was who was sending you a text.

 

Sans: hey kiddo’s having a birthday in a couple of days. wants to know if you’re coming.

You: Of course! Shoot... I should get them a gift... any ideas?

Sans: well... kiddo has a thing for reading and animals... maybe a book on ‘em?

You: What did you get them?

Sans: a cookbook, they seem to love cooking with Tori and Paps

You: Do you know what the others have given them?

Sans: well.... Yeah. we kinda all went shoppin’ together the other day... without Frisk realizing it of course.... none of the others got a book on animals.

You: Okay, I’ll get one then. Thanks Sans!

Sans: no problem. see you then.

 

So, of course, two days later you showed up at the party. You weren’t surprised to find that Sans was there along with Alphys and Undyne, though Papyrus didn’t seem to be present for some odd reason. You wondered about that but shrugged it off, M.K. was also there. You wondered why Toriel seemed to be absent, but didn’t care too much... it was supposed to be a small party... Ten minutes later you realized why both Toriel and Papyrus were absent from this party. Frisk had insisted it was all good clean fun... but really... spin the bottle mixed with seven minutes in heaven? Frisk insisted it was a new game called Heaven’s Bottle... and like the compassionate idiot you were... you’d found yourself in the circle as Frisk was spinning the bottle to see who would go first. So there were technically only the six of you at this entire thing. Well, the food was good at least... The bottle landed on Sans, who was sitting next to Frisk.

“Geez kiddo, looks like luck’s on my side.” He spun the bottle. You watched with mild interest. It landed on MK and you couldn’t help but laugh a little as the two ended up in the other room for seven minutes while the rest of you relaxed and talked. Okay, you mostly ate snacks, but still. You wonder how you got talked into this game, but when it was your turn you got Frisk; the both of you sat in the other room at the table.

“Do you even know the point of this game?” It’s the first thing out of your mouth as you both sit down.

*Sorta....

“Sorta? What were you hoping? That MK would notice you?” The blush on their face is too cute.

*N-no I...

“Well?”

*I was hoping maybe that it’d be you and Sans...

You stare before you start giggling.

“Frisk, he and I are getting along fine without you interfering. You can’t force people to be friends, but I'm sure we will be soon enough.”

*It’s not that! It’s just... he needs someone who understands him... who can help him get past what I did... and ... well, he needs someone to take care of him. Someone he trusts... he doesn't trust me so I can’t do it.

“Frisk, what you’re trying to do is admirable, but relationships, platonic or not, have to form on their own. Sans will find someone when he’s ready.”

*What about you?

You lean back in your chair.

“Well, I gave up on that a long time ago.” The way their eyes widen made you want to laugh.

*Why?!

“It’s a long story, and we only have another three minutes.”

*Tell me anyway.

“To sum it all up, I got tired of playing the game of love... of all the lies everyone told just to get what they wanted from me... be it favors or... something else.”

*Something else?

“Ask that again when you turn twenty squirt.”

*What?! That’s two years from now!

“And I’ll likely still be around, it can wait and so can you. Ah, time’s up. Come on.” You sat out of the game for the rest of the evening; you knew the others were all giving you strange looks but you didn’t care - waving off their concern as Frisk did. Sans, you knew, watched you the rest of the evening, even when it didn’t seem like it. You knew he was keeping an eye on you, but you weren’t sure why aside from just general concern. When the party ended you left the house, but Sans had left before Undyne and Alphys had; you’d expected he’d be sleeping... instead you found him stargazing on a blanket on the lawn.

“hey.”

“Hi, was just leaving.”

“i see.” You don’t move, he hadn’t looked at you.

“they’re amazing... ya know? the stars... how bright they can be.”

“Yeah... I... never just look anymore...” You look up, being so far from the town’s center, you can see the sky clearly; the stars sparkle like so many diamonds on black velvet. You move to join him; he doesn’t say anything as you lay down next to him and look up at the stars.

“ya kinda worried everyone tonight...  especially considerin’ what happened on that building a month ago.”

“That again? Heh... you can stop worrying, honest. All that was back there was Frisk’s attempt to play matchmaker.” His chuckle made you look over. Your face heated when you realized how close you were and that he was looking at you. You were just thankful of the lack of light to keep from embarrassing yourself further.

“that so?” You swallow... you were only inches away from brushing your lips against his teeth...

“Y-yeah! I told them though that much as they wanted it... t-that you c-can’t force someone into a relationship of any kind. They... they really care and worry about you Sans. They mean well, you know?” You glance away before something you regret happens... by accident or not. _That was too close..._ You wondered why you felt... strange... around him all of the sudden. You hadn’t lied to Frisk, you were tired of nursing a broken heart and had sworn after your last boyfriend that you would never let someone sweet talk you again. You could live without having a boyfriend and sex wasn’t all it was cracked up to be by novels and movies; you could live without that too. Sure it could be intoxicating like a drug - at first - and feel wonderful... but the pain was too biting... the betrayal cut too deep... You never wanted to know that pain ever again... to face the humiliation of knowing you were being laughed at while he pawed another woman who was more... bustier... who wasn’t overweight or had to deal with dry skin... whose lips were red like roses and -

“____ ? _____ !” You blink.

“what’s wrong?” You realize that you were crying.

“S-sorry... I just was... thinking of a friend I lost... I miss her.” The lie came easy, it was only a half lie; if Sans suspected it he didn’t say so as he wrapped you in his arms and pulled you against him. It only made you cry all the more, reminding you painfully of what you’d once had only a year ago. He didn’t say a word and you were really grateful for it.

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

i wasn’t sure what could have set her off like that, whoever this friend was... they musta been close or something. i admit i wanted to ask, but she was so upset that i didn’t want to make her feel worse. i wonder if she’d ever feel that strongly about a monster... about me... as a friend. she might not have noticed... or maybe she knew and it was just the others who didn’t notice... but she has this way about her that allows her to get close without... getting close. i’m not sure that makes any sense... but it’s the truth. she never seems to fully trust us and yet she says she does... it’s like me... like she is scared of somethin’ as bad as i am of resets... of findin’ myself back under that stupid mountain... back in Snowdin where snow never melts and that blasted brat is coming out of those doors covered in dust... now that i think about it... i hope she never has another reason to cry like this. so i just hold her until she quiets and tibia honest... i don’t mind finding she’s fallen asleep on me. i can’t say i’m an expert on human beauty or anythin’ like that ... but she seems to be a beautiful woman for her age. she doesn’t seem to be aware of it though... it disgusts me how vain some humans can be... how is starvin’ themselves seen as attractive? i don’t get that... or wearing all that fake crap on their face. ____ doesn’t need any of that to be beautiful... what the... where had that come from? i had to lean back a little to study her; the dim light cast soft shadows over her face... it’s damp from her tears... her cheeks though are a soft red... it reminds me of a rose. she’s got a soft white skin... it’s only darkened from her time in the sun with us. she looks almost peaceful... like a child who has yet to know a harsh word. maybe she’s not what other humans would consider pretty... but seeing her now... it’s adorable really. now that i think about it... i’ve never seen her so vulnerable except that day she’d snapped at me... the day i came to regret every negative thought i’d ever had about her. her lips look soft... are they really? what sort of question is that? heh... i must be out of my mind or something to come up with a question like **that**. i really need more sleep...


	20. 19 - Morning After

The soft warmth of sunlight woke you, that wasn’t the only warm thing; you realize with a sudden jolt that you aren’t in your bed. You feel a slight breeze, which meant you were still outside with...  _ Shit!  _ You hadn’t meant to fall asleep! You shift to try to get to your phone, only to find that it’s not as easy as it should be, nonetheless you do get to it and you check your schedule as well as the time. You didn’t work until... you stifle a groan. You should have been to work hours ago! Your phone showed that you had a message - no doubt from customer service, someone working there likely called. Well, nothing you could do about it now; though you did wonder how you hadn’t disturbed the skeleton whose grasp you were still in.  _ Because fuck me... but he’s got a strong grip. _ You figure it’s a wonder you could just reach your purse to get to your phone in the first place. You need to get home and at least change clothes if nothing else. How was he so strong?! Physically it shouldn’t be possible since he had no muscles, but trying to just shift a little bit was like pressing up against prison bars... his arms weren’t budging in the slightest and he had wrapped one arm around your shoulders while the other was around your waist.  _ Shit shit shit shit.... _ You could turn over... that was how you’d gotten your phone, but heaven forbid you could escape.  _ Ugh... it would be very nice if I could just wiggle a bit more... or just teleport myself away like in some book or movie. _ A quiet chuckle makes you stop wiggling.

“Sans... I swear to god you will be in deep shit if you’ve been awake this entire goddamn time...”

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

it was surprising, waking up to her a second time, but this time she’d been trying to get out of my grasp.

“nah, just the past ten minutes or so. why so  _ rattled _ ?” instead of laughing, she glared at me. It made me want to laugh, but the look in her eyes made me squish the urge; did she know how cute she was when she was mad? 

“what?” 

“You cost me a day of work is what! Ugh, I should have been to work hours ago, but instead I’ve been trapped here.” i let go of her instantly and that seemed to douse her anger like water to a flame.

“Sans... I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to snap like that.” 

“ ‘s okay, i’m sorry about that.” 

“Don’t worry, it’s not like you’re going to get me fired over it just because I miss one day. Just don’t make it a habit okay?” the smile she gave me then made me wonder if i really had lost it. the urge to close those few inches between us was pretty dang strong.  _ why the heck do i want to kiss her? you’ve only known her half a year... get a hold of yourself Sans. heh... not like i have lips like hers... there’s no way she’d enjoy something like that. _

“don’t plan to. so, what do you plan to do the rest of the day?” 

“Well, I don’t really have any plans at the moment besides getting a change of clothes at home.”

“wanna grab somethin’ at Grillby’s after that?”

“Sure.” tibia honest, i wasn’t expecting her to agree so easily. 

“i’ll meet you outside your place then.” 

“Great, give me a half hour at least.” 

“sure.” she got up and walked off, i had to shake myself to get into the house and get showered and dressed myself.  _ it’s not a date... just two friends hanging out... and one of them footing the bill as an apology for making the other miss work. _

 

**[Your POV]**

 

You walked to the car, why on earth did you feel like a giddy teenager?  _ Ugh, I really must still be tired or something. I’m just going to get lunch with a friend... well.. At least I think we are friends now. I mean... we’ve begun sharing puns the last few times I’ve seen him in the store with the others... _ You think about the past month, it’s been mostly normal though now it seems that you and Sans really were on good terms. It was to the point that some customers now made a point to be nearby when they saw the skeleton come down your line just hear the two of you banter back and forth with puns, even some of those who had been trying to avoid the monsters before seemed to be warming up to the idea of having them around because the two of you always left others - who were in earshot - at least smiling if not giggling a little as they left the store. Sans never held up the line though and your little “shows” only lasted as long as it took for you to ring up whatever it was he was buying. You figured that if the two of you weren’t friends now, you were well on your way to being so. As it was, you really couldn’t read Sans that well like you could others... like you’d told him... so you really weren’t entirely positive of what the short skeleton thought of you beyond enjoying your sense of humor, just as Toriel did. You wondered briefly if any of your other friends knew about the “demands” they put on you, but you shook it off. You doubted it, most people didn’t realize they “demanded” certain things from those around them and was it really any wonder that some people were bitter when the people around them didn’t give them what they expected? As you drove to your apartment you wondered about that. 

 

Then you suddenly began to wonder what it was you’d “demanded” yourself of others... As you stop and think on it... you couldn’t think of a single time since before you were a kid that you’d expected anything from anyone... As a teenager... you’d been so focused on trying to live up to expectations of those who were family, who had raised you, that you really had no demands of your own and thus... no dreams. The concept of a dream had been driven from your mind while the reality of life had been hammered into you at every opportunity before you’d even gotten your first real job that wasn’t babysitting. Something you’d only done a few times in your life and hadn’t really enjoyed much... but back then money was money. Your father had been such a stickler that you’d had your first bank account to save money into when you were ten. You’d learned to save what you could when you had extra after buying something that you’d been saving up for with what little allowance you got. You really had been pushed to grow up faster than most kids, even if you technically had both parents in your life, it wasn’t like life was perfect for you. The more you thought about it the more you wondered how it was you seemed to become less and less emotionally attached to the people around you; how you’d become so.... Well no, cynical wasn’t the right word here even if that was the first thing that popped into your mind. You just simply didn’t rely on real people to keep you company; why would you when your imaginary friends and the ones you wrote about on paper often had been more than enough company for you? Thinking on that... you can’t remember a time when, before meeting Sans and the rest, that you’d actually made any sort of effort to connect with anyone in this town that you’d lived in. Not any real connection anyway; oh you were friendly enough and joked around... there were some of your co-workers who would call you a friend... but you didn’t feel that way back.

 

You didn’t trust them, didn’t even consider them friends since you really only worked with them... and rarely worked with the same people on a consistent basis. One gal had even told you straight up “you’re a good friend” and yet all you’d really done was tolerate her ramblings about her fish and simply listen to her when she complained about the job rather than bothering to say anything. You really didn’t like hearing people complain about the job, especially when they worked with you, as far as you were concerned it was either a person should do something about what (or who) they were complaining about or suck it up. Not just ramble out their complaints without action. Complaining never solved anything and if a customer was within earshot it just made the company look bad.  _ Less is more... so they say. _ You think with a sigh. It seemed to be true... the less you said anything about your own wants, needs or even what you thought... the more people seemed to talk to you. When you’d been opinionated in your youth, no one had wanted to be friends with you really or even tried after a certain age to even pretend to be... After all.. It was your seventh birthday party... or the lack of it, that had woken you up from your childish innocence and that day had been the first time that you had begun to realize that the world didn’t care about you. Could care less what happened to you. You sigh inwardly at the thoughts, they used to depress you and sometimes you’d cry for several minutes to hours about it. Now? Now you barely felt anything at all about such thoughts. You had become accustomed to it... to the universal truth that you were just another face in the crowd. Nothing was going to change that.


	21. 20 - Lunch

**[Frisk POV]**

 

So this was how I spent the afternoon, fussing over what Sans was going to wear on his first ever date with ____ !

“how many times do i gotta say it kiddo? it’s _not_ a date. we’re friends... nothin’ more.”

*But you **want** to be...

It was so funny seeing him glare at me even though I swear I also saw a faint blush on his cheekbones! Can you imagine it?! Sans blushing! It’s a miracle!

*Come on! Admit you like her!

“ ‘course i do, we’re friends.”

*NO! SAAANNNSSSSS! I mean you _like_ like her!

“like you thought i _like_ liked Tori just because we have the same sense of humor?”

*That was different!

“how?”

*I was inexperienced for one thing, and secondly I didn’t know she was so much older than you!

“heh... kiddo... i’m old enough that i’m able to be ____’s many great grandfather.”

*You’re exaggerating and we both know it.

“heh ... maybe. you don’t know it kid and i don’t remember my own birthday.” I rolled my eyes, he at least admitted to me that he was older than Paps, but apparently neither remembered when their birthday was so we always celebrated them a few days before mine. It just had made the most sense at the time when I’d suggested it. Can you blame me? I know Sans doesn’t trust me and he probably even hates me... which is why it’s so hard to talk him into anything... but at least I had help this time...

“YOU SHOULD GIVE IT A CHANCE BROTHER. WE WORRY FOR YOU.... YOU KNOW?”

“bro. there’s no need to worry about me. i’m fine okay?”

“YOU ARE NOT FINE AND WE ALL KNOW IT! YOU STILL ARE GETTING THOSE NIGHTMARES... EVEN AFTER ALL THIS TIME... DON’T THINK WE DON’T KNOW!” Sans sighed. I knew I was the cause of his nightmares... what I’d done... there was no going back... no erasing it from his mind even if the others didn’t remember. He always would and I feel bad because of it. I’ve been trying to make up for it... but I’ve begun to think lately that I’ll never be able to make it up to him. That he’ll always mistrust me... but... if ____ can help him in some way... then I hope that she manages to win him over. That maybe they can help each other.

 

**[Your POV]**

 

 _What am I doing?_ You ask yourself for the hundredth time as you stare in the mirror. You had tried on and discarded shirts like a teenage girl. You finally picked up a navy shirt with wolves on it and pulled it on, brushed out your half damp hair and pulled on a clean pair of blue jeans. This wasn’t a date. This wasn’t a date... not by a long shot. You knew it too; Sans wouldn’t be the kind to feel like that... sure the two of you had hit it off well once he got over his initial problem of hating most humans... but that didn’t mean anything. You knew better. He’d said a lot of things, but you hadn’t really believed any of the attempts to cheer you up than you had from anyone else. After all, you knew better didn’t you? Words were just that. Tools people used to get what they wanted from others. Sure, you might not be able to figure out what it was the skeleton wanted from you but that didn’t mean you were just going to believe what he said either. It was too easy anyway. Too easy to believe the lies ... to believe he really cared when you knew he didn’t. It hurt... it hurt a lot. _Better now than to make a fool of yourself..._ You thought as you felt the pain stab into your heart like a knife into butter. This wasn’t the first time you’d cried since you’d gotten home. You couldn’t help it. You knew you could lie to him... to the others... to the world... but some how you couldn’t lie to yourself. You stare in the mirror. At least you weren’t crying and you didn’t look like you had been. _God... despite all my attempts... I’m in love with a skeleton of all things...._  You close your eyes and sigh. You take a deep breath, letting the pain sink in and spread out... just like you always did. 

  


**[Sans POV]**

 

I dunno why the kiddo insisted that i wear something besides the usual... i knew that trying to argue with Paps was a futile endeavor so... here i was at ____’s front door dressed in blue jeans, a red t-shirt and a light, blue jacket the kid said was called a ‘windbreaker’ instead of my usual hoodie and shorts. i knocked on the apartment door, it took her a moment to answer and i was beginning to feel a little uneasy until the door opened. i wasn’t sure what i was expecting but if i had a heart i’m pretty sure it woulda leapt into my non-existent throat. she was dressed in a blouse and an ankle length skirt that swayed when she walked... like it was in a gentle breeze. Her hair, normally pulled back for work, framed her face like a curtain. a number of cheesy puns came to mind but not a single one left me.

“Sans?” i shook myself.

“sorry... just... uh... never seen you in a skirt before...” it was a bit of a lie but she seemed to accept the answer.

“You look nice today, going somewhere after lunch?”

“nah, this was Paps and the kid's idea.”

“Ah.”

“yeah... they seem to have the idea that we’re more than just friends.” seeing her smile and chuckle lifted my spirits.

“Well, they worry for you so I can’t blame them. Anyway, shall we?”

“let's.” i smiled as she held out her arm to me and i took it to teleport us there.

 

**[Your POV]**

 

You were going to give Frisk an earful when you talked to them next. This wasn’t a date, not by a long shot, but you couldn’t help but admit that it was kinda nice seeing Sans in something else for a change. You wondered if it was only because he was lazy that he tended to wear the same thing over and over again. It made you wonder if that was all he had in his closet or if he really just wore the same thing over and over and.... Did skeleton monsters even sweat? Now that you thought about it... you never recalled seeing the clothes soiled.. Maybe he had a closet full of the same thing after all... but then, if that was true where did he get what he was wearing now? You felt it would be rude to ask, so of course you didn’t mention it as he took your arm and teleported the both of you to the restaurant. There was a mix of monster patrons and humans in the establishment. You wondered how far away this place actually was since there wasn’t such a restaurant in the town you lived in... or anywhere near as far as you knew. You weren’t surprised when most of the customers called out hellos to Sans.

“I thought you were outta town Sansy.” A monster that looked like a stuffed bunny head said.

“i am, but i owe my friend here a meal and Grillby’s makes the best.” You slide into a booth while Sans orders the food.

“So where exactly are we?”

“heh... believe it or not, base of the mountain.” Your eyes widen. Mount Ebbot was no where near where you lived.

“T-that far?!”

“yeah, why?” You smile.

“That’s awesome!” He seems a little embarrassed.

“it’s nothing really. i did it all the time in the Underground. heh... guess old habits die hard.”


	22. 21 - Discovery

**[Sans POV]**

 

it went better than i coulda hoped; she laughed at all my puns and sent back her own... i will at least admit to you diary that i had a fun time. wasn’t expecting to have a bad one... but we stayed so late we ended up having supper there too and the place was near empty by the time i saw Grillby staring me down. not that this hasn’t happened before but... i’m not usually sober when it does... it was very nice... i don’t know about her but if things keep up like this between us then i might fall in love... i don’t expect it to happen but ya know somethin... i ain’t ever seen anyone like her before. i’ve met people who are either kind... forgiving... selfless... compassionate... understanding... has a good sense of humor... it’s like she was made to be a perfect friend... she listens... like i do and i almost never hear a complaint from her... that last one is a double edge sword though. it seems to me she’s just taking the “beating” from those around her like a wounded animal. it’s something i see day in and day out and frankly... i don’t get how she can still smile or even stand it. she scared me real bad that day she fell off the ledge when she’d turned around. that calm acceptance as she fell into open air... the thought makes my soul throb. no one should be so ready to die, to be so fearless in the face of death.

 

**[Your POV]**

 

You close your eyes, you felt the wind caress your skin like a lover’s first touch, but this isn’t a fantasy for the wind is not welcoming you into its embrace for a sweet kiss, but as a warning of death to follow as you realize there is nothing keeping you from plunging down to the cement below... Except... You see a flash of blue as gravity begins to take over... but that’s not all you see. Is that... a flash of worry...? Regret? Concern? Horror? You’re not sure what you’ve seen in that split second in a pair of familiar eye sockets, but you don’t feel fear as you realize the flash of blue is a sign that the magic he commands - as easy as one takes a breath - is already racing towards you... You have nothing to fear. You close your eyes as a warmth still over you. Was all magic warm like this? You hear someone calling your name... it’s not a desperate cry though and you blink and look up, remembering where you were and what you were supposed to be doing. You were in the middle of helping Toriel and Frisk in the kitchen with a new chicken recipe and you had been tasked with tenderizing the chicken.

“Oh dear, are you okay? I think the chicken is quite tender now.” You look down and nearly laugh as apparently you’d beat it quite thin during your day dream. You flush a bit.

“Sorry! I guess I zoned out there.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” The two were both looking at you with concern.

“It’s nothing, but uh... I was wondering something... I hope this isn’t a personal question, but uh... is **all** magic warm when used to protect someone?” Toriel and Frisk glanced at one another.

“What brought this on my child?” Tori called every human that, so you were used to it now.

“I was just remembering a time when I fell and Sans caught me... it felt kinda like a warm blanket.” Frisk looks at you, puzzled.

*You can FEEL magic?! I can’t feel anything when anyone uses their magic on me.  

You look at Frisk strangely then at Tori who nods a little.

“It’s not a common talent child... it is possible that you are sensitive to magic and may very well be what - in ancient times - was called a Seeker.”

“A Seeker?”

“Yes, before the war they were revered for being able to sense who was magically inclined amongst humans. Sadly, during the war they came to be used to hunt down monsters. Making ambushes all but impossible as the best of them could sense monsters from as far as a league away.”

“Huh... well, not much use for that nowadays since most have dismissed magic as bogus or just cheap tricks for amusement.”

“Yes, well, I and other monsters are ratifying that as well as the misconceptions about monsterkind. I’m sure that there will be some use for your talent eventually.” _Right, but will I even still be alive by then?_ You wonder a bit sourly. So you had a new talent, so what? It was just one more thing to make you ‘weird’ in the eyes of others if anyone ever found out. You shook away the thoughts when you noticed Frisk was trying to get your attention.

“Hmmm?”

*Can you sense any magic in me?

You thought about it as you looked at Frisk; did you?

“Frisk, she might not be able to tell without having any training.” Frisk just looked at you. You weren’t sure WHAT you saw when looking at them; it was like you could see inside them, you saw a red heart but at the same time there was a dulled red one - near black - inside them too.

“Well, I don’t really _feel_ anything, but... “ Frisk looked at you in mild concern.

*It’s THEM isn’t it?

“Well, I can see two souls kinda... one I think is yours while the other-” You hesitate, looking at them for confirmation as to whether you should reveal Chara’s presence. Frisk shakes their head slightly.

“Go on my child.” Tori prompted.

“I’m not sure about it.” You finish after a moment.

“I’m not exactly an expert in this or anything... I could be seeing things, like you said Tori... I haven’t been trained. It could just be that you have two different types of magic for all I know.”

“Of course ____.” You and Frisk are relieved that she buys the explanation but the look you give Frisk clearly says you believe they need to tell her the truth, if no one else. The teen rolls their eyes, well... apparently it wasn’t happening tonight. Well, it’s not like it was any of your business. _I suppose if I were them I’d have a hard time too. Someone as innocent as Papyrus shouldn’t ever have to deal with such truths... and Tori... no one wants to disappoint her... and Sans would be furious if Paps was hurt... and no one with half a brain would want to ever get on his bad side... At least not from the accounts of the fights I heard from Frisk._ You shake the thoughts away. They return, however, a few nights later when the unexpected happened.. For the first time ever you found yourself at a register **OUTSIDE.** You knew your store had portable registers, but you’d never used one let alone been outside while doing so. The weather was nice, a small breeze kept it from being too warm but there was enough heat so it wasn’t chilly either; while the weather was nice there weren’t nearly enough people who stuck around long enough for you to get more than a pun or two in and sadly none of them seemed to even notice your puns. It was still a nice experience regardless so you weren’t too unhappy about. Your mind drifted as there was little for you to do, why had your mind replayed that moment on the building when you’d been in the kitchen?

 

It had been a completely random thought and yet at the same time, a little more real than you remember any memory ever being before. It had almost been like you’d been re-living that moment in time. Why then though? What could possibly have been so special about it? Aside from the obvious. _Could it be because that was the first time I felt magic?_ You consider the possibility; you want to ask someone but who could you really trust? Maybe the more important question was who _did_ you trust? The answer, you realize, is so very obvious; you barely really think anything of the person who relieves you from the outside register as the truth of it hits you. Sans. The person you trusted wasn’t a person at all. As you went back inside, and waited for your manager to tell you where you were to go next, you found yourself wondering at this new revelation. He had been meticulously mean to you and distrustful up until recently... was that why you trusted him? Because he’d been so sour? No, that didn’t make any sense. Then it dawned on you as you watched the last of a line of customers leave from your register; it had been nearly two hours and with a breather you finally realized the answer to your question. You trusted Sans because you saw in him a reflection of yourself; a sort of guardian to all the others, seeing to their needs above his own even when he seemed to be lazy. You’d seen past that, being lazy had been his way to hide the weariness of the resets and how much he really did. You felt your heart squeeze a little in sympathy. You couldn’t begin to imagine the pain he’d experienced while in the Underground. No one deserved it, least of all someone like him.

“You feel okay?” The broken English of the other cashier made you look up and you realized you saw concern in the dark eyes that met your own along with the wetness on your cheeks, which told you that you’d begun crying though you hadn’t noticed it before.

“Yeah Dwane, I’m fine. Just... I was thinking about a friend of mine.”

“What about this friend?” You wiped the tears away.

“Well... he’s just suffered a lot and someone like him really shouldn’t have to go through what he did. It’s sad that he had to.”

“I see.” You knew he didn’t, because he didn’t know anything about Sans, but it was still sort of nice to hear, regardless.


	23. 22 - Shadows Lurking

**[Sans POV]**  

 

it was odd, you would have thought that things were going well for everyone. i thought they were anyway. then as days went by and there was no word from _____ at all i began to worry. it wasn’t like her. she had always answered her texts from Paps if not mine or everyone else’s. it had been a solid two days of silence before i really began worrying that something might be wrong; it really hadn’t occurred to any of the others what the issue might be, but something in my gut told me that something was wrong... so i went over to her place and knocked on the door. no answer. that was a bit of a surprise. where could she be if she wasn’t home? she hadn’t showed up at work either, Tori had noticed she wasn’t there and had asked me if it was _____’s day off but none of us had heard that it was. not even Frisk. as i was about to knock again i heard my phone vibrate and looked, it was Frisk, of course, because no one else just texts me.

 

Frisk: We have to find her.... I got on a website she’s usually on and... it’s not good...

 

just seeing that message made me worry more. i decided against knocking and teleported just to the other side of the door.

“____ are you here?” the apartment seemed pretty empty, it had been nearly a month since her roommate had moved out after all. i don’t know why... but i had a feeling that pulled me from the living room to search the other rooms. i wish to Asgore it had been wrong... but my gut has never steered me wrong before. i wish it had... i found her on the bed and i saw a bottle of pills nearby. i dialed for an ambulance and checked for a pulse, giving them the address even as i checked her over; she was pale, but there was a faint pulse and i told the paramedics what i assumed had happened... that she had completely wiped out a bottle of pills. i couldn’t go with her... i wished i could have... i didn’t want to leave her side but i wasn’t family... the rest is mostly a blur... all i remember is sending back a text to Frisk that i’d found her but i don’t remember much else... maybe the others called... maybe it was all in my head. all i could think about was that something had set her off... something had made her try to take her own life.

 

**[Toriel POV]**

 

I was with Frisk when Sans sent the text. I tried calling him but he didn’t answer and I had the sinking feeling that finding ____ had not been as good as it should have been. I called the others to let them know that Sans had found her, but I couldn’t help but worry; she was such a sweet child, and Sans never didn’t answer his phone when it came to his friends so, whatever had happened, it could only be serious. I can’t ever remember him not answering me before except that one time where we’d thought we’d lost Frisk in a mall... Sans had been so panicked at the time. Up until that one incident I’d been concerned about his relationship with Frisk, but it seemed they had a relationship that I may never understand. Once I’d called everyone, I tried again to get ahold of Sans. I hoped this time that he would answer. This time, he did.

“Sans, thank goodness! What’s happened?”

“Tori... are you sitting down?”

“I am now.” I replied as I took a seat in the kitchen while Frisk was in their room doing homework.

“Tori she.... downed an entire bottle of pills.... she... tried to kill herself.”

“Oh my stars! Sans... I... is she....?”

“i dunno... i called the ambulance and told them what she’d taken... we’re at the local hospital.”

“I’m on my way.”

“Tori.... thanks.”

“Of course.” I didn’t hesitate.

“Frisk, I’m going out to meet Sans, I’ll be back by supper time!” The two knocks I heard was all the acknowledgement I needed and I headed out to the hospital. I could only hope that when I reached there that I would get good news... I found Sans waiting for me near the receptionist station. He didn’t say anything, I wasn’t sure if I honestly expected him to or not at this point.

“Any news?” I asked after a moment of sitting with him.

“not yet, she’s still in the ER.” He mumbled, he was staring at the floor like it had offended him or something. I’d seen him panic before... he’d been frantic to find Frisk when we’d lost sight of them... but this... this was different.

“Sans.... did you know about this?”

“no. well... she did admit to me months ago about how she wasn’t afraid of dying... how she doesn’t think she’s worth anything... i swear i’ve done my best... she didn’t want anyone else to know... didn’t want anyone to worry or nothing.” I wrapped an arm around him.

“Tori... i... this hurts more than i thought it might... i...”

“You care a lot for her.” He turned to look at me, nodding a bit and although he didn’t say anything more on it I saw the truth of it in his eyes.

“I’m sure everything will be okay. We just have to have faith that she’ll pull through.” He nodded again and stared at the floor.

“thanks for coming.”

“Did you tell anyone else?”

“no. didn’t want word to get to Paps... you know how much he loves being with her... how he values her friendship. this... he’d never understand. it’d break his heart.”

“You’re right. It would... but I’m not sure we can keep this from him. Not entirely anyway. He will want to know where she’s at.” Sans nodded and I wondered how I was going to tell Frisk. Did they even know about this or was Sans the only one?

“Do you know if she’s told anyone else?” He shook his head.

“I see.” We passed the time in silence as we waited for word from one of the doctors. The time seemed to stretch on forever. The longer that the silence went on between us the more I could see, as well as sense, the tension from him. I wished that I could ease it some how, but there was little I could really say to do so and there was nothing to be done. For the first time in a while, I felt powerless. I did not like this feeling one bit, but what could I possibly do for my long-time friend? I owed him so much for protecting Frisk, for making the promise he did that inevitably led to our freedom. I tried the first few months of our freedom to repay him but he’d eventually waved away the attempts, saying that being free was its own reward enough and I have to agree, but even so I feel that I owe my old friend a debt of gratitude that needs some form of recompense. I’m not sure why exactly I feel this, but it only feels right and so I feed him when I can as my way of repaying him back.

 

I’ve also given both Undyne and Papyrus cooking lessons too so that they can make some of the things that I do. I shake off these thoughts though and try to return to the present moment. I needed to think of something to help him through this. I just wasn’t sure exactly what it was that I could do. The silence just seemed to stretch on and while I considered making a few jokes I do not think that now was a good time for either of us and I really couldn’t think of anything good. All I could think to do was be here for him. I wondered if I should say something to keep the conversation going but there really wasn’t much else to say and though I know we needed a distraction I was finding it hard. I thought I had known ____, but it seems I did not; not like I had thought. She had always been so cheerful around us, how could I have missed the signs? Then again... it seems she was like Sans, I am certain he has his own secrets too that he has not told anyone. He’s made less jokes since coming to the surface and I am certain that is because he has less worries... at least that is my hope.


	24. 23 - Words

**[Your POV]**

 

Warm. You were surprised to find that you felt rather comfortable but you couldn’t go back to sleep despite wanting to. With a resigned, inward sigh, you opened your eyes. A quick glance around you confirmed your suspicions from the first initial moments of waking. You were alive and in a hospital. That meant someone had found you. Who? The question swirled around in your mind as you stared up at the expanse of white above you. You weren’t sure about what you were going to do now. You had been back from your vacation for just three days and it had been too much for you; the stress of bills... of life itself. You weren’t hurting for money just yet but you knew you would be in another four or five months. You were a single, middle aged female. You had no suitors, no chance of finding a trustworthy roommate in time... at least, that was what you’d been thinking and you really hadn’t gotten a large tax refund this year either... Somehow you’d ended up owing the IRS money, shrinking the return you were sure you should have gotten, you hadn’t. You sighed inwardly and closed your eyes; you didn’t think you wanted to find out who had found you. You wished they hadn’t. You only felt regret for the moment; you heard the door open and soft footsteps that followed.

 

“____ ?” You knew that voice, Tori. Had she been the one?

“she might not be up for talking yet Tori.” Your heart sank more. Sans was here too. Great. The only way this could be worse was if Papyrus was too.... You wait, but you don’t hear the boisterous voice of the younger skeleton brother; you almost sigh in relief. You didn’t feel as much relief as you had first thought, but you still didn’t want someone as innocent as Papyrus to face something like this... and maybe that’s why it was just the two of them. You realized after a moment in the silence that there wasn’t anyone else there. You weren’t sure if you felt any measure of relief to know this as you realized that even if anyone else did know... there were only two possibilities of who had found you... You weren’t sure which option was worse... having Tori find you... or having Sans be the one to. 

“Do you think she’s even awake?” You didn’t say anything.

“hard to say. maybe she is still asleep.” 

“In that case, I’m going to grab something to eat, I haven’t had lunch yet. Do you want something?”

“nah, thanks though.” Silence fell again and it felt oppressive, but at the same time you didn’t really want to say anything. A quiet sigh came from him.

 

“i didn’t think you wanted to talk, but i know you’re awake. that you’ve been listening. i just can’t say i understand why you would do something like this. i thought that maybe we... i...” He seemed to stumble, curiosity got the better of you and with a deep, inward sigh, you opened one eye to look at him. He wasn’t looking at you, he was staring down at the bed like it would help him say whatever it was he wanted to say.  

“I’m sorry.” The words slipped out before you could stop them and his gaze shot to yours.

“sorry? i’m just glad it wasn’t too late.”

“I... just can’t handle it anymore... I’m not strong like everyone else...” You mumble, glancing away. You didn’t want to see the look of pity you were sure that he would be giving you... or the sorrow... or whatever it was he thought that you needed from him. You still didn’t understand him or what it was he expected from you... he was still as mysterious as ever to you.

  
  


**[Sans POV]**

 

i can’t say i know what to say upon hearing all of that. it wasn’t like there was just some easy way to fix all of this; she didn’t know it... but i could see her soul without even really trying. it’s really sad... seeing how people scar the souls of their own kind without a second thought... there were so many cracks in her soul that i couldn’t ever really hope to count them all. how was it that her soul was still intact? shouldn’t it have shattered by now? the dullness of all the colors made my soul throb in pain. i honestly never thought i could care so much about someone... but it seems even an old bag of bones like me still can feel something for someone besides friendship. i don’t honestly even know when it happened, but looking at her now... i knew it as truth. somehow... she’d wormed her way into my soul. i was gonna say more but the sound of her voice cut me off before i got the words out.

“Who?”

“hmm?” 

“Who found me?” 

“i did.” her eyes closed, but not before i got a glimpse of a look of pained regret. i’m not sure what is going through her mind. was it regret because i had found her? was it because it was me instead of someone else? was it over what she’d done? i have no way of knowing, but i hope it is the lather rather than the former. i wasn’t sure if i should give voice to any of my thoughts not or not. after a long stretch of silence i couldn’t just sit there anymore and not say anything.

“why didn’t you trust me? ... us?”

“With what?” her tone was flat as a flapjack.

 

“Not like anyone can change the past or anything for me. Not even Frisk’s Determination can do  **that** or change the fact I was dumped on my birthday, or that I’ve had one crappy choice for a boyfriend after another... How I can’t find and keep a job I like... I was a burden on my roommate ‘cuz I was lazy and didn’t keep anything as squeaky clean as she did...” i wasn’t sure i understood that one; sure i was lazy but more than she was as while her place was a bit cluttered it wasn’t like she’d trashed the place or anything. of course the tirade didn’t end there.

“I’ve never had the power to change anything... no self image really... heh... why would I when I was nothing but a burden to my own father after mom walked ‘cuz she didn’t care enough to wanna be in my life more than once every two weeks... didn’t think of anyone much except herself, and I’ve spent my life fighting impulses that come natural like breathing. The impulse to think only of myself... to be selfish...”

“that’s the last word i’d ever use when describing you.” 

“Heh... you might but-”

 

“no buts. ____ ... maybe i’m just a bag of dusty old bones but i  _ know _ you. i see it every day when i see you. you’re kind, compassionate to a fault damn near... you don’t seem to have a single mean bone in  your entire body even when someone does you wrong. You are one of the strongest souls i’ve ever met and... damnit... to hell with what everyone else thinks. you’re beautiful to me and if i have even a sliver of a chance to make you happy... i’ll take it. you don’t get paid damn near enough to do all the stuff you do or endure all that shit you do. you had no reason to forgive me for being such an ass to you.... no reason to be so nice to me... to my friends... to Frisk. you could easily have looked the other way when others picked on them... but you didn’t... you have never stooped to the level i did no matter what anyone has done to you.”

 

**[Your POV]**

 

Where was all this coming from? You didn’t understand it. Why would he say such things to you? He wasn’t done though.

“you matter a helluva lot to us. i don’t get how you could ever have wanted to be friends with me after that night. i still don’t understand it... i may never forgive myself for it because you are the last person on this planet who deserved anything like that from me-” He cut off when you put your arms around him and just hugged him, burying your face against his chest. You began to cry, because hearing all that from him... it hurt... but maybe it was a good hurt... because sometimes in order to heal from something the wound has to be made to feel worse to cleanse it of all the bad stuff before it can mend. You can’t help but hold onto him for dear life, as if he was the only thing anchoring you to life... and maybe he was... He, just didn’t know it. 


	25. 24 - Not Just Another

You felt loads better after having cried for a while. Sans hadn’t said anything else; he’d just held you against him and that had been enough. It had really been, you realized, all you had needed. You felt only a brief flash of guilt for having cried all over his jacket, but he didn’t complain. He didn’t say a single thing about it actually and seemed content to hold you even once you were done. You felt a little foolish about everything that had led up to this moment; this wasn’t how you’d hoped your first real embrace would go with the skeleton. Your mind began to wander. He’d said something important earlier... you were sure of it... something you should remember... but for the life of you there was no way your brain was going to give up the answer. He’d said you’d mattered to him and the rest of the others, but that wasn’t what was nagging at your mind at the moment... there had been... _something_ else.

You were sure of it and yet you could not remember what it was. Your mind had been so dulled and full of pain that you barely remember half of what he’d told you just moments ago... You felt relief, honestly, but also regret that you couldn’t remember what you’d just been told. You wish that you did. You had several days to think about it as the doctor wouldn’t release you right away from the hospital. Especially not after learning that you lived on your own. After nearly five days had passed you were eating lunch when you caught a quiet conversation in the hallway as your door was partly open.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to be by herself.”

“i agree with you doc. i will stay with her and make sure there isn’t a relapse or whatever you call it.”

“Alright, as long as there is someone staying with her I will get the release papers.”

“i’ll keep an eye on her. it’s kinda my job doc, i think i can handle it.”

“Right, I’m not unfamiliar with your work. Though, I’ll be honest, I was very surprised when you came in. I’ve kept everything under wraps, of course.”

 

“much appreciated.” You nearly sighed aloud. Of course, how could you have forgotten so easily that Sans was popular as Frisk’s bodyguard? Why had he volunteered though to stay with you? You were perfectly fine on your own, but at the same time you realized the truth of the matter was that the reason you hadn’t been released earlier had been because you lived alone rather than because of the fact that there were any drugs still in your system.   _So... guess now the question is did he mean that or did he just say it so they’d let me go?_ You weren’t sure. After all, what did you know about your skeleton friend? Besides the obvious thing, him being a skeleton monster. When Sans came in again you felt conflicted about whether you should ask or not; you were dressed and ready to leave by the time he came back in.

“ready?” You nod and he offered his arm to you; the two of you teleport to the front door. You were a little surprised he didn’t just teleport inside the apartment itself. You fumble for the keys, deciding you needed to ask.

“So um, about what you said to the doctor...”

“you heard huh?” He glanced away.

“look... i... we, care a lot about you and i’m the only one flexible enough for this. Frisk isn’t old enough, Tori has enough house guests, Paps... well he has Mettaton now... much as i don’t really trust that ‘bot... and it wouldn’t be fair ta ask Alphys or Undyne...”

“why would anyone?” You ask quietly after a moment.

“like i said, we care.”

“Why should you, any of you? I’m just another hu-”

 

“stop!” You jump, for the entire time you’d known him you had never once heard him ever raise his voice; not even when he got mad. Normally his voice got octaves deeper. You weren’t sure when you’d begun to notice such detail. Like how there was the minutest of shifts in his eye sockets when he smiled - truly smiled and not just the normal grin he carried about. How the corners of his mouth shifted down when he was annoyed with someone, the way his eye lights changed size when he was startled or how they disappeared when shocked deeply. You realized you probably shouldn’t know as much about him as you did... it was borderline ‘crazy’ type of obsession in your mind. You stared at him now, certain your own shock was written on your face at this point.

“you’re not just ‘another’ human to any of us. not Paps, not Tori or Mettaton... _not_ to me.” The way he said it struck a cord inside you; did he... maybe... no way. He couldn’t like you like _that_... could he? The intensity of his gaze rattled you.

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

i dunno what was going through her head, but i needed to set her straight on a few things; that much was clear to me.

“____, you mean something to us. monsters aren’t like humans; our souls have a great capacity to be compassionate to anyone and everyone we meet. it’s as you might say ‘in our blood’ to make friends rather than war. we aren’t weak really, but it can be a weakness. still, it doesn’t stop Paps. even when his words meant _nothing_ to the **brat** ... he still _tried._ but you... you’ve never done anything wrong when it comes to us; to monsters, to Frisk... even to that _weed_. you’ve never once been anything but kind, selfless to the point that i swear you fit the description of the angel that was meant to save us...” i felt some satisfaction when i saw a blush rise to her face; i knew she didn’t feel like she was worth much, but the longer i was with her the more i felt that she needed to know just how much she meant to all of us... to me.

“there’s a saying that says the kindest of hearts has known the harshest of realities... and i believe it to be true. you’ve been through a lot of harsh things, but you’re a good person; i’m blessed to be able to call you friend.” i can’t say i’m the best at this sort of thing, but i could see she was listening and a blush was rising along her skin even as she glanced away; i had the feeling that _something_ was getting through.

“you might not have heard it often enough or at all, but you’re a beautiful person; like a flower in sunlight you bloom when you smile... a true smile.” i watched her flush deepen, i had to be doing something right....

 

“you’re smart, i’ve seen you help Frisk work out math that’d stump even me... it makes no sense to “old bones” like me.” that got a bit of a smile from her; i felt a bit of relief upon seeing it too. unlike Frisk, who hadn’t seemed to listen when they were in the Underground... ____ seemed to actually weigh his words, to listen to them even if she didn’t say anything. he could see the intelligence in her eyes and... there was something else there too... _what is that? admiration?_ i had once seen that look from another human... not just from Frisk... so... she admired me? why did i suddenly wish it was something else? why did my soul ache at the thought? shouldn’t i be happy she’s my friend? what’s wrong with me... is... Frisk right? do i... really wish it was more? i shook away the thoughts, she was looking at me in mild concern now; had i muttered my thoughts aloud or something?

“Sans, you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.” i forced a smile.

“nah. I was just off in thought about this whole thing.”

“Look don’t force yourself to stay. I don’t want to inconvenience you or anyone.” i nearly sighed as i saw her eyes darken with unspoken thoughts.

“i’m doing this because i want to. no one’s makin’ me do it. ‘sides, easier ta get to know ya if we’re livin’ in the same place.” i knew she couldn’t argue with that logic and she didn’t.

“If it’s really what you want, Sans, I won’t stop you.” She walked off to the bathroom once we were inside; honestly, i expected her to put up more of a fight about it than she did. i did wonder a little about my own sanity though... because i’m almost sure, by this point, that i don’t want to be just friends anymore with her. something in me just seems to resonate every time i see her. i guess maybe i should try datin’ her... see how it goes. can’t be too hard... and Paps did have a book on it... maybe i’ll borrow it.


	26. 25 - Trip

It had been a long week, you wondered what to fix for supper; your back ached from all the groceries you’d ended up ringing up and bagging on your own, you were tired from the emotional upheaval of a heavy rp where you were playing an “evil” character and you hadn’t wanted to go to work that evening because of it. The only good thing was that you had a roommate again... not that you’d seen much of him - which you thought was bizarre. Hadn’t he moved in to “keep an eye on you?” You were tempted to grab a knife or something to test to see if he really was keeping an eye on you but the idea vanished as soon as it formed. You really didn’t want to put him through that - or deal with the consequences of it. Since when did you care so much? As you considered it you began to realize that, for some odd reason, you valued his opinion a lot more than you thought you ever would. You flopped down on the bed after retrieving your laptop and set it up; now that you thought about it you often found no trace he’d been at the apartment. _I think I’m past the ‘obsessed’ part and gone into crazy... how have things progressed like this? Not like I’ve seen him any more than any of the others... less actually. ... So then why is it that he’s constantly in my thoughts?_ It didn’t make any sense to you that you would find yourself thinking about your roommate. You knew he had a near full-time job keeping an eye on Frisk when they weren’t in school, so when would he have time, let alone the energy, to keep an eye on you? You look at your phone, you’d been invited by a friend to go on a three day retreat with a writing group. You hadn’t had a lot of motivation to write in almost a month, but the trip - aside from food and gas - was paid for in advance; it was also only an hour away from where you currently lived so why not? You knew you couldn’t just take off though without talking to Sans about it or he and the others would likely think the worst. So you agreed to go, but knew you needed to talk to Sans about it. You had three weeks to do so... and to put in the time off slip. First things first; you put the time off slip in the next chance you got... since the first chance there had been no slips at all. Turned out that prom was coming up. That was odd in and of itself since Spring Break had been the week before. School events could be strange, to say the least, in terms of timing. Time seemed to slip away from you and before you knew it you were facing the last few days of work and you still hadn’t talked to Sans about the trip. _No time like the present since it’s my day off._ You thought and pulled out your phone as you sat on the bed, taking a break from the artwork you’d been looking at. You selected ‘boneboy,’  the name was his idea of course, from the list of contacts only to pause... what should you say? After a long moment’s debate you decided to just be brief and let him know about the trip in a text:

 

Going on a trip with a buddy of mine to a resort. It’s only one hour away; going fri. and will be back sun.

 

Satisfied, you hit send and slipped the phone back into your pocket - or would have had it not vibrated. Sans had answered. _That was fast._

 

Sans: mind if i tag along?

You: What would you do while there? It’s a writing group thing.

Sans: won’t stop me

You: That wasn’t what I said.

Sans: it was implied, ‘sides i could use a short vacay

You: You seriously did not just say “vacay”

Sans: yup. i gunna vacay my spot soon.

You: Sans!

 

You still snickered a bit.

 

Sans: well, gotta get away from work some how

You: Omg Sans, it’s a wonder sometimes that you don’t lose jobs.

Sans: just cuz i’m a lazybones doesn’t mean i loaf around at my jobs.

You: You’ll have to do breader than that to get a rise out of me.

Sans: getting you to laugh is the yeast of my problems.

 

He wasn’t wrong, you couldn’t help but giggle; his puns never got old for you.

 

You: I suppose I will relish our time to ketchup then.

Sans: i’ll mustard up the energy then to participate

You: ha ha okay pun master, you win

 

You’d found that it was easy to make puns at work, but doing so outside of work wasn’t quite so easy and not everyone got them as often like with Sans. You weren’t sure how he did it so effortlessly, but he did... though perhaps less than he had when he was in the Underground, at least according to Frisk. Days later found you bunking with Sans in your own room, it shouldn’t have been awkward since the two of you had been living together - more or less - for weeks except there was only a single bed. Your mind went to places it shouldn’t the instant you saw it and you turned your gaze from it.

“oh... wasn’t expectin’ that.”

“Me either.”

“if ya want i’ll take the couch.”

“Um... honestly... i-it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Maybe not to you humans, but it’s.. uh... “

“Different for monsters?” You ask.

“yeah... uh... unless you’re a kid, ya don’t sleep in the same bed as another adult unless you’re a couple. and not in the sense of what you humans think.”

“More like our being married, right?” Was he... blushing?!?!

“y-yeah, pretty much.”

“Tell you what, we’re only here for two nights, we’ll flip to see who gets the bed the first night.”

“but i-”

“Nope. I insist that we take turns. None of that “i should be nice because she’s a human/woman” stuff.” He held up his hands at that and you couldn’t help but grin. You dig for a coin.

“Heads or tails? And no using your magic.”

“wouldn’t dream of it. tails.” You nod and pull out a quarter, you flip it, slapping your hand over your palm after catching it.

“Loser sleeps on the couch, agreed?”

“yup.” You uncovered the coin, heads.

“Looks like I get the bed tonight.”

“fair enough.”

“What will you do?”

“well, how about meet this friend of yours for starters. who is it?”

“Andrew, my ex.”

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

i expected a lot of things on this trip, a surprise or two but not that i’d be coming skull-to-face with the douche who had broken ____’s heart.

“you’re friends... with your ex?”

“Well yeah, he and I were friends in the beginning; no reason we shouldn’t still be.”

“but he dumped you.” none of this made sense to me and the more she said the less i liked this.

“Yeah, but that’s in the past; he’s a great writer.” i felt like this wasn’t a good idea to come here, but i couldn’t say that without sounding over protective like Tori; not to mention i didn’t have a right to be. i wasn’t Tori and she wasn’t mine... why did thinking that hurt so much? i really must be out of my skull.

“let’s just meet the guy and get this over with.” i looked away because i was pretty sure if i didn’t i’d make a fool of myself. _damn it! i shouldn’t have said it like that!_

 

**[Your POV]**

 

 _Huh?_ Something is clearly up with Sans, it wasn’t like him to say something like that... You wondered if you should say something but how well did you really know him? You weren’t sure you actually  _should_ say anything. At least not yet. You decided maybe it would be better just to keep an eye on Sans the entire time and see if it happened again or something... You weren’t sure what you planned on saying or doing if it did. You just hoped that things went smoothly; after all, you’d been looking forward to a short break from work and the usual stuff that you had to put up with. Still, as you led Sans from the room down to the lobby to meet with the others, at least you hoped, you couldn’t help but feel a nagging sense of something at the back of your mind and you really hoped that nothing would happen. Sans usually was laid back around others, you didn’t figure this would be any different so why did you have the feeling that it was? That something was different? You tried to brush it aside but even as you did you felt that it was still there. Something was definitely different but you weren’t sure what kind of different... not even if it was a good or bad kind of different and it worried you a little; still, you were determined to have the best time that you could while you were at the resort. It was only, mathematically, two days. What could possibly go wrong in that short amount of time? Nothing, you hoped; you really, really did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry to get your hopes up... no dating book here... well... not yet anyway...


	27. 26 - Rumor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumors can be nasty things...

You weren’t sure how Sans was going to take meeting your ex, he’d said something a little strange... or at least it had seemed strange to you. You were friends with the guy so you brushed it off as just him being a good friend to you as you were pretty sure he had enough problems of his own; problems you weren’t entirely unaware about thanks to Frisk. Since meeting them and the monsters you’d seen both sides of the story and so while you sympathized with Frisk’s troubles with Sans you also told them that they needed to back off and give him time to come to terms with everything; that you had taken his side had startled the young teen into silence. You had gotten a similar reaction from Sans when he’d nearly blown up at Frisk for a small misunderstanding and you’d backed them up, telling Sans straight out that he needed to stop letting the past control him and his decisions and that if he had issues he needed to get them worked out rather than let them affect everyone else around him. Sans had just stared at you for that before walking off... he wasn’t the only one, Tori and Papyrus had been there too and they’d been just as speechless that you’d not only been brash enough to give voice to the thoughts they’d been having for years, but that you’d managed to say them straight out and not have been slammed into a wall or something for it. Sans rarely ever got riled over anything, so they were just as surprised at his show of temper as for the gull you had shown in the face of imminent danger. After all... Sans was bigger than you were, and he was short for a monster. Size alone should have been a good enough intimidating factor but you hadn’t let it stop you. You’d consoled Frisk, who had been shaken by the experience though because it had set off a flashback of something they didn’t want to ever remember. You knew this, of course, because they had told you about it early on when they’d suffered an episode during Spring Break while it had just been the two of you out doing some shopping. It was plain to you that both parties were suffering in their own ways from the time in the Underground. Sans likely more than Frisk, but who were you to judge who suffered more? Your musings were interrupted when a familiar figure waved at you. He was the same as you remembered him from the year before. He hadn’t really changed since he’d left you, same eyes, same hair, same smile.... You braced yourself only to feel... nothing. Shouldn’t you have felt something? Hurt? Regret? It had only been about a year.

“Hey, who’s your friend?” You were shaken from your thoughts by the question.

“Andrew, this is Sans; Sans meet Andrew.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“nice seein’ ya.”

“No offense really, but uh... have you heard the rumors?”

“Rumors?” You look at him, puzzled.

“Yeah... um...” He shifted a little, not quite meeting your gaze even as his tone was even but slightly lowered.

“About monsters... how... um... they’re grouping with humans to just... uh... How do I put this um...”

“Just say it already.”

“Fine. Rumor is that monsters are using humans for sex. Happy?” You stared. What. You weren’t sure what you felt more, anger at Andrew or anger at the fact he was implying, without saying it, that you and Sans were...

“I’m disappointed in you Andrew. The monsters **I** know are _nothing_ like that. I can’t believe you’d ever think that I would ever be so desperate even if they were!” No one else in the room seemed to say anything.

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

i can’t say i recall a time i’ve ever seen ____ mad; not even when she complained about her job, as she did in rare instances. i’m pretty sure though if looks could kill then Andrew woulda been dead on the spot. the look she was givin' him didn’t leave any room for doubt about what she thought he was implying nor about the issue itself. i’m a lot of things, but a coward isn’t one of ‘em and normally i’d have made a joke of the whole situation but something in me was telling me that doing so at the moment probably wasn’t the smartest of ideas. honestly, i felt a little flattered that this punk thought the two of us were together like that; especially considering he was still something of a kid. while i know she didn’t mean it the way she said it... her words kinda stung. even if she was just trying to defend her own sense of honor; the more i thought about it the more i came to realize the kiddo was right... ____ and i really are alike. we have our secrets and we don’t really seem to trust anyone... not even one another, maybe especially not. the thought of that more than just stung, tibia honest... it felt like the kid had stabbed my soul. it hurt, more than i care to really say... but at the same time... i can fake a smile... hide the hurt of it behind my humor because that’s what i do. it’s what i’ve always done... they say though, if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten. maybe it’s time i try trusting someone. not just someone. her. after all, if anyone can really understand me, or at least understand some of what i’ve been through, it’d be her. thing is, where do i start?

 

**[Your POV]**

 

Mad as you were at Andrew, you didn’t let it ruin the whole trip; in fact, you were bound and determined to enjoy it in spite of his information. Where had people come up with that ridiculous notion anyway? Only humans were that sick, after all; you were pretty sure that it was a rumor spread just because someone saw a monster and a human being friends and wanted to put an end to it and what better way to ruin relations between humans and monsters than by spreading some malicious rumor that didn’t even have an ounce of truth in it? After all, anyone who hated monsters for any reason, or simply couldn’t tolerate them, would likely believe such a lie and consider it a valid reason to do away with monsters much as their ancestors had... except... You didn’t like where this was going; humans were just as violent in today’s world as they had been the day they had sealed the last of the monsters away in Mt. Ebbot. You were worried for Sans and his friends. It would be too easy for any human to kill a monster and there weren’t really a lot of laws to protect the monsters as Frisk was still negotiating the rights of monsters even after all the time that had passed. It was too easy, still, for a human to kill a monster and the law would favor the human no matter what the reason was that the monster had been killed; even if it was just over the fact that they weren’t human. Was history going to repeat itself, except with monsters instead of human slaves? You honestly hoped it wouldn’t, you didn’t think you could bare to lose your new friends over something so stupid... nor watch Frisk suffer because of it. You only could hope that those in power had learned from history and knew better... not that the common folk did since most of those you knew seemed split between tolerating the monsters for the short stay and out right hating them. You really had to wonder what was wrong with this town. Had you moved into a town of hateful heathens? You shook the thoughts away as at that moment you were supposed to be working on a story, just like everyone else in the room; Sans had made himself comfy on a chair and fallen asleep. You were pretty sure that was a good thing, at least it meant he could escape the curious eyes of some of the other members of the the writing group. You’d made a mental note to yourself to not come to another event with Andrew. He hadn’t said much else to you and you were pretty sure it was because of the tension from earlier. Not that you cared too much, he wasn’t worth it anymore; you weren’t together with him, you were a free agent and could do whatever you wanted with whomever you wanted... even if it was just in your dreams late at night that a certain skeleton seemed to visit you... You shook away the thoughts and went back to typing as much as you could though if you were honest with yourself you knew you weren’t about to get too much done with Sans nearby. Even when he was napping just a few feet away you felt like he had your full attention. You swore that you could hear every soft breath, every shift in movement of the fabric of his hoodie. It was only the sound of laptops closing that brought you out of your thoughts and conversation around you about food that made you realize you probably should get some supper and then head to bed. Tomorrow was the only other day you’d be here, saving what little you’d managed to write, you closed your laptop and turned to find that Sans was simply watching you. You weren’t sure what to say.

“supper sounds good to me.” You felt glad he said something as you nod.

“I’ll put this in the room and then be back down, we can eat here at the hotel’s diner.” He nodded and you headed back to the room, he was still on your mind and you were trying very hard not to think about what Andrew had implied. As sick as it was, the idea was more appealing than you knew it really should be. _Why, oh why did he have to suggest something like that?!_ You groaned quietly to yourself as you climbed the stairs to the hotel room. You felt your cheeks warm a little when you saw the bed. Curse it all! You were a grown adult and knew better! You shouldn’t be thinking things like that about someone you didn’t know that well! Not that it stopped you from doing so; it wasn’t really hurting anyone after all. You were an adult, so was Sans, surely a fantasy that stayed in the confines of your own mind was perfectly fine. Yes, nothing wrong with that; after all, you weren’t dead and you were still of the age to be able to have kids. So... why not? As long as you didn’t start pining over it, there wasn’t anything wrong with it. With that firm thought in mind, and checking in the nearest mirror to make sure you had composed yourself again, you headed back downstairs to eat.


	28. 27 - Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You Can't (Always Go On) - Me
> 
> These are original lyrics, do not use or take any part of them without my permission!

Once you’d eaten you both headed back to the room, you used the bathroom to change into a nightgown; as you’d gotten ready for the evening you couldn’t keep your mind completely on the moment as what Andrew had said was stuck in your mind. In fact, it had been stuck there all evening and had sort of soured it for you though you’d done your best to not let it get to you because Sans was your dear friend and you really thought it was disgusting that your ex would believe that Sans would stoop to that sort of level, that any monster would really. It didn’t surprise you though that the rumor was going around; it had only been two years since the monsters had been freed, but nasty things like that were like wildfire... once someone said it was then suddenly it was all over the place. It probably hadn’t even happened. You couldn’t help the thoughts that followed, with Sans being a skeleton monster you couldn’t help but wonder if it was possible to... You shook your head. You knew good and well the Internet was ripe with theories about monsters; most of them just pure fiction and very little based on fact. Plus, even with all the monster volunteers you were sure that there was still a great deal that was unknown about monsters. Their origin story, for example; where did they come from? Many humans didn’t want to believe that the god or gods of their religion that had created all life would have created monsters too, but it was an indisputable fact that monsters had lived amongst humans in earlier days as there were many surviving stories about monsters. Most of them were negative, but there were a good many positive stories still left. As it turned out, most of the “fairy tales” that included some sort of mythical creature was really just a story that had a monster in it. As you walked out of the bathroom you wondered just how much you could question your skeleton friend. After all, there was such a thing as boundaries; still, you could not help your curiosity.  _Hmmm... perhaps I should make it a game of sorts..._

 

“Sans.” You found him lounging on the end of the couch furthest from the bed, he’d been staring off into space it seemed, but at the sound of his name he turned to you.

“hmm?”

“I was wondering, would you like to play a game of sorts with me?”

“a game?”  

“Yes, one where you ask questions.”

“sounds simple enough. what are the rules?”

“There’s only two rules, the first being that you don’t have to answer any question you don’t feel comfortable answering but any that you do you must do so truthfully.”

“and the second?”

“To say ‘pass’ on any question you do not wish to give an answer to.”

“any time limit to this or anything?”

“No, and the game stops when we choose.”

“alright. who goes first?”

“I will, unless you already have a question in mind.” He shook his head. Right... start off... easy...

“What makes monster food different from regular food?”

“it’s made with magic, mostly. my turn?” You nod, he seemed thoughtful a moment.

“did you know about monsters, before we appeared?”

“Only from stories and games, nothing of the truth if that’s what you mean.” He nodded.

“I hope this one isn’t too personal, but how old are you?”

 

**[Sans’ POV]**

 

i wasn’t expecting that one. well, i probably should have been since she’d never asked before that i could recall and it was only natural.

“eh... truthfully... i dunno. memory’s a little messed up from all the resets and the last birthday i remember celebratin’ was before the resets began... which, i think for you, was about four or five years ago... an’ i was 27 then.... so i’m probably about your age or older, not counting the resets. if you count those... then it’s about another two years.”  she didn’t seem too surprised, then again, she wasn’t an easy one to surprise. in all honesty, when she’d mentioned it bein’ personal i was a bit afraid of what she’d ask about but the age question was somethin’ i didn’t really consider all that personal. not like it was some big secret or something, not like the past. i really hope she doesn’t ask about that. i like and trust her, but there’s just somethings i ain’t ready to talk about yet.  

“Your turn.”

“okay... let’s see... why are you always on the computer?”

“I do a lot of things on there. Art, writing; it’s kind of my way of both relaxing and escaping from reality.”

“i see. things really that bad?” 

“That’s two questions Sans.”

“heh, sorry.”

“I’ll answer it on my next turn if you like, anyway... um... I can’t help but wonder... is it... possible for a monster and a human to be together? Physically I mean.” i shoulda seen that one comin’ considering what her ex had said, but i hadn’t expected her to be so blunt about it.

“uh, well... depends on the monster i guess.... and i do wanna know, is reality that bad?”

“Well, before I met you and the others ... for me, it kinda was. It was tedious, boring, there was really nothing exciting about my life and I was facing losing my home without someone to help me foot the bill.”

“doesn’t surprise me, considering that rent is so high.” You nod.

“Not to get too personal here, but uh... if the pair in question were a human and a skeleton monster. Could they... ? Ummm... do it like humans do?” i swear i musta been blushing then, i know she was, but it wasn’t like i hadn’t wondered something like that myself when i’d been younger.

“y-yeah... it’s possible. ya can’t really have the pair reproduce that way but... the uh... act is possible.”

“I uh, feel pretty tired about now, don’t know about you. I’m going to get some sleep.” i wasn’t sure if i was happy or not at the halt of the game.

“yeah. good idea ____ .” i stretched out on the couch, it was surprisingly comfy; more so than i remember the one back in Snowdin being. then again i can sleep just about anywhere...

 

**[Your POV]**

 

The next morning you found, not surprisingly, you were up before Sans was. You didn’t want to disturb him so you dressed in the bathroom and went out to the balcony; taking in the fresh morning breeze and the sunrise, or what of it there was; the sun was already past the horizon, but you didn’t mind that you’d missed the actual sunrise itself. You weren’t a morning person anyway and never had been really. As you listened to the morning’s silence you felt a song rise in you; it didn’t happen often that you felt you must sing something to express yourself; a song that was your own anyway rather than something someone else had already done. As the tune began to play in your mind, you took in the stillness of a world below you that was not yet stirring and, with no one around or awake, you began to sing softly.

 

_Swaying in the wind_

_Just another breeze_

_Never quite the same_

_It’s always just a tease_

_I hear so many lyrics_

_They play so many songs_

_Written down sweet words_

_I can’t play along_

_They say it’s never too late_

_For a broken heart_

_But what they don’t realize_

_Is there’s no compromise_

_You can’t always go back_

_You can’t always go on_

_You can’t always say I’m sorry_

_You can’t always move on_

 

You didn’t realize, as you sang, that you had left the door open a crack behind you or that a certain skeleton was now looking out at you.

 

_Little birds sing in the morning_

_The owls hooting out at night_

_I wait for time to heal_

_But in the end this is just my plight_

_They say it all will come to pass_

_Worries, fears, they never last_

_Some how I think they’ll never know_

_Just how the stories really go_

_You can’t always go back_

_You can’t always go on_

_You can’t always say I’m sorry_

_You can’t always move on_

_Deep within I wander_

_Darkness my only friend_

_Safe only in my slumber_

_Will this really ever end_

_Sometimes I see a light_

_Sometimes I feel a hope_

_Sometimes there’s only darkness_

_Sometimes I feel alone_

_In a crowd of one thousand_

_Just a face among them all_

_Never reaching the stars above_

_Always destined to fall_

_You can’t always go back_

_You can’t always go on_

_You can’t always say I’m sorry_

_You can’t always move on_

_All I can say is sorry_

_Because I can’t turn back_

_I can’t go on_

_I won’t be back_

_Final words are like a poem_

_Never written, only heard_

_Like heat in a winter storm_

_Disappears like the bird_

_You can’t always go back_

_You can’t always go on_

_You can’t always say I’m sorry_

_You can’t always move on_

_People try and try and try_

_But no one ever really knows_

_That sometimes it’s too much_

_Too much to bear alone_

_You can’t always go back_

_You can’t always go on_

_You can’t always say I’m sorry_

_You can’t always move on_

_You can’t always say sorry_

_You can’t always move on_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack in updates, this has been really tough to continue writing since it's not usually my thing to write something as deep as this story has been. Thank you to everyone who has supported me in this.


	29. 28 - Advice

Step 1. Press the [c] key on the keyboard for “dating hub”

 

Step 2. Ask them on a date.

 

Step 3. Put on nice clothes to show you care.

 

 

 

what the heck? did i need to carry around a keyboard of some sort and why the heck would i need to? this book made no sense. _how does Paps make any sense of this book?_  i thought that “borrowing” it from him “for Frisk” was a good idea, but now i’m startin’ to wonder if the author of this book wasn’t just off their rocker or something. the only other option is asking someone with experience... no way i was going to ask Paps, don’t get me wrong - i love my brother and he’s the coolest ever but... he can’t keep a secret like this. Frisk would be just as bad and there’s no way in the underground i’m askin’ that tincan for datin’ advice... if my parents were alive maybe i’d have the nerve to ask them... dang humans. i don’t usually let ‘em off so light in my own head but... i really can’t be a jerk to all humans without a reason... i might never forgive Frisk. hell, it’s still a wonder ____ forgave  **me**  after all i said to her. but she gave me a second chance so... maybe it’s about time i give others a second chance too. hmmmm, maybe Tori would know a thing or two, after all she’d been married and thanks to Frisk she and Asgore had patched things up. how, i’d no idea, so apparently Frisk knows a thing or two but i’d never hear the end of it from ‘em... Tori it is.

 

**[Toriel’s POV]**

 

I was sitting in my chair when the phone rang; who could it be at this hour? Frisk was at school, ____ was a possibility but that wasn’t likely. I was a little surprised to find it was Sans. Though since the incident with the pills I’ve been a little bit anxious...

“Sans? Is something wrong?”

“huh? no, nothing is wrong. i just thought you could... uh... give me some advice.” Relief filled me and I’m sure he could hear it.

“mind if i drop in?”

“Of course not.” Sans appeared seconds later next the chair, normally that would have startled me but I was too curious about what he had said on the phone even as I hung up.

“You wanted some advice on something?” He nodded as he pocketed his own phone. I have to admit I was curious as to what he would come to me on advice on.

“yeah. well... thing is i... uh, borrowed Paps’ book on datin’ but it’s confusin’ on how to do it.”

“Well, when Asgore was courting me he took me to his special places in the Underground, which were nice, even after we’d seen them all - because they meant something to him - so that made them special when he took me to sit and talk or picnic... Oh, and appearance is important. You should look nice, but not out of your comfort zone.

“uh, okay.”

“The most important thing is to be yourself.”

“myself?” I could tell he was nervous about that one.

“Yes, the point of dating isn’t to impress someone with what you can be, but with who you are.” There was something of a comfortable silence that followed.

“Sans?”  

“sorry Tori.”

“No need for that.”

“tibia honest... i’m a bit nervous about all this.”

“If you don’t mind me asking... it’s _____ isn’t it?”

“yeah.” I can’t say I’m surprised, especially after the scene he’d made at the hospital.

“Sans, I’m not going to say this just because you’re my friend, but I think that you’ll be fine. You two get along well and even though you had a bit of a rough start I’m sure things will be okay.”

“Tori... thanks.”

“For?”

“everything.”

“Of course Sans.” He vanished a few seconds later.

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

once i was back in my room i checked to see if the house was still empty... well, it’s officially an apartment, but it’s a “house” to me since it has more than one bedroom. humans are confusin’ sometimes in namin’ stuff. i walked through the home, it was silent so i figure she was still at work. this was confirmed when i checked the small calendar on her... our coffee table. it’s strange, even after livin’ with her for a month i kinda keep outta her way... not that i think she thinks i’m a bother or anything like that but i just wanted to keep an eye socket on ‘er not get in the way of what she normally did. i keep to my room and she usually keeps to hers, but i’ve been followin’ her work online. it’s interesting’ ta say the least ‘cuz she’s keepin’ a blog an’ i have a feelin’ that most of the others don’t realize it nor know. ‘cept the kid. with the house empty i am free to plan... except... what am i to do? she probably wouldn’t want to do anything on a work day so that mean i'd have to plan it for a day off or ask... crap. i’d definitely need to ask her out... what if she said no? what if she just wanted to stay friends? that could be awkward... i sighed. i would bite the bullet, as the saying went, if she said no. so i pulled out my phone, crossed my phalanges and sent the text...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, this one is kinda short in comparison to the others; for some reason that's how it just turned out.


	30. 29 - A First

Just a normal evening at work, dealing with customers and machines that didn’t necessarily work like they should. You head upstairs for your fifteen minute break; when you glanced at your phone you were surprised to find a text waiting for you. It was from Sans:

 

are you busy tomorrow night?

 

You thought about it a moment, you had planned to just work a bit on the comic you were doing but were stuck on a scene as you figured that, yes, you were free for the evening.

 

You: nope

bone boy: want to hang out for an hour or so?

You: Sure, just don’t forget to bring the rope

bone boy: xD i won’t rope you into something like that

You: xD sea you then

bone boy: don’t get salty at work now

 

Grinning, you continued texting, keeping an eye on the time the entire time.

 

You: I’ll try not to cook up any trouble.

bone boy: i’m sure they’ll bake you for that

You: Stop trying to get a rise outta me

bone boy: don’t have breader things to do right now

You: So you’re loafing around then

bone boy: rye do people say it like it’s a bad thing?

 

You giggle, trying not to out right crack up; speaking of which...

 

You: You sure crack me up with your eggscellent humor punny bones

bone boy: great ‘cuz otherwise the yolk would be on me

 

You snort a little, this sort of thing was the highlight of your day since the incident with a customer that had made you stop telling your food puns with most customers unless you knew them or it was one of your monster friends. You certainly never passed up the opportunity when Sans came in.  _Why did he ask to “hang out” all of the sudden? Hadn’t he mostly been a ghost since moving in a month ago? Well, maybe he’s just been busy until now or something._ Though you wondered if any of the others would be there, not that you were nervous or anything about spending time alone with him, it was just that the only time you’d gone somewhere with him alone had been when he’d taken you to lunch and supper that day months back when he’d made you miss work. That day had turned out to be one of the most enjoyable outings that you recall having in, well... A while. You couldn’t shake the feeling that thinking about that outing gave you, it was one you were sure you had felt maybe one other time in your life... When your heart had still been innocent of the thorns of relationships and you had still had the hope of a “prince charming” coming along to, metaphorically of course, sweep you off your feet.   
  
Like every young girl who had grown up in the 90s or before, you always dreamed of being a princess and having a ‘true love’ to sweep you off your feet. A tradition from movies that had been replaced by the image of an ‘independent’ woman who didn’t need a man to fix anything for her. While you understand that such things change with a change of mindset, it wasn't something you’d expected to see in your lifetime; then again you hadn’t expected the technology boom either that had happened. You still remembered when DOS was the system everyone was learning to use and how personal computers weren’t a common household item until the late 90s. It was still amazing, if one thought about it, how small today’s computer were in comparison to those just ten years before... How the cellphone had evolved from being a bulky walkie talkie type phone to the small device it was today that could be worn around the wrist and had dozens of functions besides simply making a phone call. When you’d been a kid no one had thought cell phones or computers would be the common thing they were now, which was why those who had taken a risk and invested in companies like Microsoft and AOL were multi millionaires almost overnight when the personal computer hit the market in the early 90s. You shook away the thoughts as you began to wonder if you should wear anything “casual nice” for the “hang out” ... Was it a date or... ? You and he were friends... maybe good friends now that you thought about it. After all, he had moved in with you to ‘keep an eye’ on you. It wasn’t a date. Not a real date anyway, just... hanging out, right? Right.

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

i wasn’t sure if things would go as well as i hoped they would. would she realize this was a date or would she insist on just being friends? when she got home she looked tired from running errands and i wondered if she’d tell me to cancel... should i? i watched her disappear into her room and thought about canceling. maybe this wasn’t a -

 

**[Your POV]**

 

You’d spent hours at work last night and today debating what to wear, when you stepped out you knew it had been worth it to slip into the silky black skirt you’d had for a couple years and the navy blouse; you’d let your hair down and put on just a hint of make up. A bit of blush and a combination eye shadow called “smokey.” The way he just seemed to stare made your face heat and... was that a blue hue on his cheekbones? Could skeleton monsters blush? Why would he even blush? You couldn’t possibly be that sort of appealing to a monster... could you?

“So, where are we going?” You ask, hoping to distract you both from the awkwardness of how you were feeling in reaction to his reaction.

“you’ll see.” As you moved forward you noticed he wasn’t dressed in his usual hoodie. In fact, he wore a dark blue button down shirt and black slacks, he also wore a pair of ... black loafers? You couldn’t help thinking that it made him look rather sharp. What was the occasion? He offered his arm and you slipped yours through his. He teleported you both to a clearing and you look around. Beneath a tree your eyes widen at the scenic sight laid out before you. A vast forest lay in the horizon, to your right was a city, mountains to the left and a desert at the end of the forest seemed to separate the city and the mountains. You just stare as the light sends colors of a day at its end across the land, painting it in deep oranges, yellows and greens as it faded and the cloak of night stole over it all.

“beautiful ain’t it?”

“Yes.”

“that was the first thing i saw the day we were freed.”

“So we’re on Mount Ebbot?”

“yeah, a ridge just above where we came out actually.” You weren’t sure what to say as you absorbed this information; it was -almost- like being on holy ground or something. That was just the feeling you got.

“heh, ya look a little spacy there.” You giggle.

“Well, I guess I’m just starry-eyed by this view.” He chuckles.

“That was out of this world.” You can’t help your laughter.

“Man, it’s just... I feel like this place is sacred or something because of its history and because you all were here for so long. Kinda like visiting a gravesite but nothing so morbid.” He nodded in understanding; though you share a look, he lets the opportunity for a pun to slide and you figure that this subject - for him and the monsters - is taboo for puns.

“Thanks for bringing me here.”

“sure. ready for supper?” You nod and are a little surprised when he pulls you by the hand beneath the tree and you see a basket on a navy blanket that is lit by candle light. A quiet gasp of disbelief leaves you and you are shocked at the lovely sight it makes.

“like it?”

“It’s... I don’t think I have words for it...” You felt tears start to well up.

“hey, are you-”

“N-no... it’s just... No one has ever done anything like this for me. I... I’m touched.”

“... really? no one?” You look at him, you’re not sure what you see as you shake your head.

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

i thought for a moment i’d screwed up, but after she explained i realized that i hadn’t, but everyone else who had known this woman had. i felt a mix of things. how had no one, that she had ever turned her affections to, not known how to romance her? even as i felt a touch angry at those past people, i’d have to be an idiot to not realize the golden opportunity in front of me. i was going to show her how things should be, how they were meant to be for her. she deserved the best.

“i didn’t do all this by myself, i had a little help from Paps.” seeing the smile, despite her tears, made it worth it. maybe i really did have a shot with her after all. i tugged her to the blanket to eat, she seemed eager to see what Paps had prepared for us. he’d had Tori help him but there was lasagna, mashed potatoes, corn, peas and - of course - butterscotch cinnamon pie. there was also some liquor too, one Tori said she’d found out that ____ liked, to go with the meal. i’m not usually one for sweet drinks, but this one had enough kick in it that i’ve enjoyed the taste. the kid wants to try it the moment they come of age just because there’s chocolate in it, can’t say i blame ‘em too much. i don’t remember all of what we talked about, mostly just catching up and space... and the others. she seemed more than just happy. it warmed my soul to see her like that; she should be that way more often.


	31. 30 - Stars

You barely remembered what it was you’d just been discussing with him, but that was okay; you two lay on the blanket surrounded by candle light and the stars. It was like a dream and you glanced over towards your companion. The most enigmatic individual you had ever met. He also seemed to have a very romantic imagination too, having set all this up for a first date. You were enchanted with the evening, it all seemed so surreal the moment you had seen the area he’d set up. It wasn’t fancy or anything, but that didn’t matter because you have never been as materialistic as most humans tended to be. You weren’t impressed by fancy cars or flashy jewelry. This was something very few people who knew you, or got to know you, ever figured out. You enjoyed the things that money couldn’t summon at a whim, like this feeling that you felt now; this peacefulness as you gazed up at the stars. You pinched yourself, wondering if this was just a dream, but you felt it. You were pretty sure that this was real. It was hard to believe though. Who knew Sans had a side that was so... sweet?

After all, he had practically set the mood to be relaxing and romantic, but he hadn’t kissed you. He hadn’t reached for your hand... his hand was close to yours though as you lay next to him. The stars were beautiful. He hadn’t said anything that was close to being considered romantic or made any indications of doing so but what he had talked to you about had kept your attention. You were fascinated by him. Okay, that wasn’t just it, you were an adult too so you had to admit, at least to yourself, you’d thought of a few.... Not so clean things, about your companion. At the moment though you weren’t thinking any such thing. All you could think about was how nice the evening was, the soft breeze kept the heat of the evening away and you realized that the candles he had brought also seemed to be keeping the insects away as well. It seemed like a little detail most would miss, but you didn’t, because frankly, you hated bugs being on you. Not that you hated them in general or anything and as a kid you’d been fascinated with them as much as any other living creature, but that didn’t mean you wanted them flying too close to you or crawling on you without your fore-knowledge. You dismissed the detail from your mind though as you gazed up at the sky. They twinkled like various sized fireflies in the evening’s darkness.

“It’s so beautiful really, it’s hard to think that most of them are as big or bigger than our sun and that many of them are already dead in terms of producing light but we’re only just seeing it because of how far away we are from them.”

“you know your stuff.”

“Eh, a little. Nothing like what you probably know, the only thing about astronomy that fascinated me as a child was the constellations.”

“oh?” You begin pointing out each by their name and telling a bit about what you remember of their stories. Sans doesn’t interrupt, keeping silent until you fall silent yourself after you run out of visible constellations to point out to him.

“and you remember all that from your childhood?”

“More or less. My memory is sketchy and I remember random things. Most of it’s useless information.”

“doesn’t make you useless.” You don’t rise to the bait on that one and he doesn’t say anything further. You didn’t want to spoil this evening with a fight or something, especially when you knew the two of you wouldn’t ever agree on this point. What was the point? You wonder why you had agreed to this, for a moment the stars seem to dim and you lose interest in gazing up at them as your thoughts darken to a hue more akin to the sky that seems to engulf the stars. It seemed, to you, that your happiness was like those stars and the darkest part of you was like the sky... Your happiness was fleeting in a blanket that never seemed to end and seemed to often snuff out your “stars” of happiness just as soon as it possibly could. You had yet to tell anyone, but it’s not like it was something you just blurt out. You were pretty sure that you had inherited a genetic disorder of depression from your grandmother; someone you had never met and never would because she had died before your father had even become an adult.

You couldn’t actually prove it and medication, as you recall, had an effect that had seemed to make you feel worse when you realized what it was actually doing to you and what it was turning you into. It was something that would have been too easy to accept and would have turned you into a person who was always “stupidly happy” rather than genuinely. It was that bad, even a half dose was too much. You’d been weaned off them after a while when you told your doctor and talk to them revealed that the prescription had been the lowest dosage. There wasn’t anything better, all other antidepressants were higher in dosage. That left you with only one option. To live with it. For the moment, you felt calm and were happy... but you knew, in the back of your mind, that this wouldn’t last. It couldn’t last. This was a date after all and you knew what the point of a date was. You dress nice to impress, but after a while, stuff like that stops and you get to see the real person behind all the ‘dress to impress’ stuff. You don’t voice your thoughts, but you wonder, briefly, when this “fairy tale” will end.

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

i was nervous, at the beginning; i had no idea what she’d think of the dinner i’d put together, but Tori had advised me to be myself. so i had decided something simple was best. plus we could stargaze afterwards. turned out to be the best idea i’ve ever had. it was worth it, seeing her reaction. as soon as i had seen it, well, i’d begun to relax the rest of the evening as we’d eaten and talked. i’d purposely avoided talking about anything work related, and got to know her better. found out that she enjoyed reading fanfiction as much as she did writing it. i also found out a bit more about her family and how she was sort of the black sheep in terms of political views as well as religious and that almost ostracized her from them completely because she didn’t follow their beliefs. honestly i always thought politics was for the birds anyway. not having an opinion on human government, i just listened to her talk about it as well as about school and how she’d excelled in the arts but hadn’t been all that great at science, history, or math... though she’d enjoyed being able to do science experiments from time to time. i thought about mentioning my machine to her, but decided not to. i decided that was a topic for a time when i knew more about her.

i wasn’t sure how much she knew about how technology works and that machine is anything but a simple form of technology. she shared my love for the stars too, to an extent; at least the constellations, she seemed to know more than i had expected her to and she had even remembered a good deal from her youth; that had caught me off guard because i knew she had not had a lot of opportunity to pursue her interest in the stars. as far as i knew, she’d only three times in life been able to learn about the stars and for some reason it was the facts about constellations that had stuck the most. maybe that was because each one had a story stuck to it and she loved stories. i probably shouldn’t speculate there, but the evening had gone better than i could have hoped. i took us back though before it got too late and we parted ways for the evening. i have to admit, i think i was nervous over nothing. okay, maybe not ‘nothing’ but still... i shouldn’t have worried so much that i’d screw it up. i didn’t want things to go wrong though; at least i knew now that i had a golden opportunity with her. i will be the first to show her what it means to have someone lo- ... care for you. it seems my hatred of humans isn’t quite so wrong.

i wonder though how someone like her can come from such a selfish and vile race. i still don’t fully understand. how can she be so kind and considerate of others when they do not reciprocate in kind? she’s too good for the world she’s been living in. i can’t understand either how she can be such a bright star to everyone when it seems like her light is on the verge of going out thanks to all the injustice she’s had to suffer. i can’t help but wonder how she does it all. she really is the angel i wish i could have had fall into my life when we were still in the underground... she would have been worth fighting for... protecting. maybe she couldn't see it, but she was the brightest star in my sky...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, now all caught up to the DA version.


	32. 31 - Lips

Lips. They were made for kissing, among other things; you knew they also were used to cover the teeth to protect against disease and other things. Did skeleton monsters kiss or was it more like with birds where instead of a kiss a similar, but intimate gesture was shared? After all, skeleton monsters, unlike most other types of monsters, did not have lips. Sure bird monsters didn’t either, but they touched beaks as a form of a “kiss” between them. At least that’s what you read from the book that had recently been published on monsters. There were still a lot of unanswered questions about monsters, the question of why they didn’t need toilets had easily been answered by the fact that their food and drink, made of magic, didn’t have physical matter and became pure magic so there was nothing to leave behind.

You wondered how far you could go with your curiosity about monsters around Sans. Sure you’d asked a few questions at the hotel, but you’d embarrassed yourself and him before getting far. Since that time you had come up with more questions, thanks mostly to this book. After all, if you were dating a skeleton shouldn't you know what you can and cannot do? While talking with Sans seemed like the most obvious choice, you figured that since you were unsure of things that perhaps the best source of information should be his brother. After all, who better to know than Papyrus? So that’s why, on one of your days off, you were standing in front of a very nice hotel. It was about 3 hours from where you lived, but you figured this would be worth it to get some answers.

“May I help you?” You weren’t sure how a monster that was essentially a giant woman’s hand and nothing more could actually speak but that wasn’t why you were here.

“I’m here to see Papyrus.”

“Ah, you must be Miss _____. He’s been expecting you. He is waiting for you on the nineteenth floor, room 171 A.”

“Thank you.” You head for the elevator and hit the button for the floor. It wasn’t the top floor, it was two floors under actually, but then again you were pretty sure that few people went up this high as the last three floors were reserved for those who were either personal guests of Mettaton or were just part of his extensive living quarters. You didn’t peg Papyrus as being the kind of flashy type so you weren’t sure why it was the two got along so well or how they’d begun a relationship. It didn’t really matter much, you weren’t here to pry into someone else’s life. At least that’s what you told yourself as the elevator took you up floor by floor. You need to focus, you’re here to ask things to help you with Sans so you don’t cross a line accidentally. You’d had a most wondrous first date with Sans; you weren’t about to screw it up just because you didn’t know something you should.

You had never really been to a high end hotel but you had been in plenty of decent ones. So you weren’t entirely prepared for what you saw when the door opened after you knocked. The room was nearly as spacious as your entire apartment, scratch that, you were sure your entire apartment could fit in the living room and then some! Papyrus smiled, he was sitting on a couch and it seemed that the door had opened automatically or something like that. You were a little overwhelmed when you realized this, and you were sure there was a hot tub to your right and an expansive bedroom beyond it. To your left, a very moderate and modernized kitchen for any and all needs.

 

“_____ ! SUCH A PLEASANT SURPRISE TO HAVE YOU HERE!” You smiled as he got up and hugged you, he wore an orange polo and a set of pants you were sure likely cost a good chunk of your paycheck.

“Papyrus, it’s been a while. How are you?”

“GREAT AS ALWAYS! METTATON IS OUT WITH THE OTHERS PICKING UP NEW COSTUMES OR HE’D BE HERE TO GREET YOU.”

“Ah,well that’s okay. I came here to see you actually.”

“ME? WHAT FOR?”

“Well, if you don’t mind too much... I ... um... well, I have some questions I think that only you can really answer.”

“THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS ALWAYS WILLING TO HELP!”

“Great! Um, though if anything I ask is too personal just tell me and you don’t have to answer okay?”

“UM... ALRIGHT.” You sat down next to him on the couch. Boy was it comfy! You wanted to stretch out and just sink into it like a child, but you didn’t. You were here for a purpose, so instead you simply settled comfortably against the cushions.

“Well, first off I want know as much as I can about skeleton monsters in general because... well, I’ve started dating your brother.”

“SANS? THAT’S.... THAT’S WONDERFUL! FRISK ALWAYS DID SAY YOU TWO GOT ALONG SO WELL!”

“Yes, we have.” Mostly. You kept that last part to yourself, aware that Papyrus had no idea about the rough treatment Sans had given you when the two of you had first been alone. No one but Frisk actually knew about that night actually, and they didn’t know much. It wasn’t something you really wanted anyone else to know about because you had been at your worst that night.

“So um, okay. First question. There’s not something that I should know that I should NOT do is there? Like maybe something I shouldn’t mention or talk about that might be offensive to any skeletons.” Papyrus looked thoughtful.

“I CAN’T SAY OFFENSIVE, BUT BE CAREFUL ABOUT TOUCH.”

“Touch?” He nodded.

“THERE’S A REASON I WEAR THESE.” He indicated the gloves. You hadn’t really thought too much about it, but now that you considered it, it was weird, was that a skeleton thing how Papyrus and Sans always seemed to be wearing gloves?

“What reason?”

“WELL, WE ARE VERY SENSITIVE TO TOUCH. MORE SO THAN MOST MONSTERS, SO WE WEAR THIS PROTECTION SO OUR SENSES ARE NOT OVERLOADED. IT’S NOT SO MUCH A THING AT A YOUNG AGE, BUT THE OLDER WE GET THE MORE SENSITIVE WE ARE IN TERMS OF GENERAL TOUCH. IT’S SEEN AS AN INTIMATE THING IF A SKELETON TAKES OFF THEIR GLOVES.”

“I see. I was wondering, is there any particular spot that might be sensitive that I should avoid general contact? Like a spot between shoulder blades or something like that.” He put one hand to his mouth as he seemed to consider this question for a long time.

“NO... NOT PARTICULARLY, RATHER SOMETHING LIKE THAT PROBABLY WOULD BE SOMETHING ONLY AN INDIVIDUAL THING. LIKE HOW SOME HUMANS FAVOR CERTAIN COLORED EYES, FOR EXAMPLE.” You weren’t sure that was the best analogy but you didn’t correct him.

“Alright. Are there any topics that might be taboo?” Papyrus shook his head at this almost immediately.

“WE’RE PRETTY OPEN USUALLY. SOMETHING LIKE THAT WOULD BE MORE OF A PERSONAL NATURE.”

“I see. Okay, so um... how do skeletons show affection?”

“NYEH?”

“Well okay, more specifically, is it possible to share a kiss?”

“OF COURSE! I HAVE NOT HEARD ANY COMPLAINTS FROM METTATON ABOUT IT, BUT IT IS VERY POSSIBLE. OUR BONE STRUCTURE ISN’T LIKE A HUMAN’S.”

“I gathered that. Does it mean you can manipulate yours to mimic lips?”

“HMMMM, I DO NOT KNOW FOR CERTAIN BUT I AM SURE IT IS POSSIBLE IF ONE WERE TO TRY!”

“Thank you, for answering all my questions. I’m sure this has to seem strange to you.”

“NOT AT ALL!”

“What do you mean?” He seemed to fidget a moment, not meeting your gaze.

“IT’S JUST THAT... NOW THAT HE DOESN’T HAVE ME THERE ALL OF THE TIME AND WITH TORIEL TAKING CARE OF FRISK... I WAS BEGINNING TO WORRY ABOUT HIM. IT’S TIME HE FOUND SOMEONE TO TAKE MY PLACE, WHO WILL BE WITH HIM AND SEE TO HIS BEST INTERESTS.” You can’t help but smile at this, it was so sweet that he would worry about his brother like that.

“I really do appreciate this.”

“_____.” He looks up at you again.

“YOU WILL TAKE CARE OF SANS, WON’T YOU? AT LEAST, FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN?” You nod before you even realize what you’re agreeing to.

“Of course. For as long as I can. “ This seemed to ease his mind as his normal smile is back and the tension that had seemed to come out of nowhere vanished. After you were finished reassuring Papyrus, having at least a bit of tea with him and chatting, you decided you should go home. You still had laundry to do after all and the dishes and other things weren’t going to do themselves.   


_A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky animals...._  It was a quote from a movie that had stuck with you. In fact, the movie had been a box office hit, and of all the things out of that movie to strike a cord with you it had been that. You had known it, even as a teenager, to be a truth of the world and wouldn’t it be your luck that that was the last thing you remember going through your mind because all you really heard were shouts and something that sounded very suspiciously like gunshots...

  


**[Sans POV]**

 

i was a bit surprised when i came home to find that the house was dark. i knew it was ____ ‘s day off and i had been looking forward to sharing the evening meal with her. just something normal, part of a routine that had started ever since that first date. it had just made everything seem brighter, so of course i had expected her to be home, but i didn’t see any sign of her. i had noticed her car was gone and figured that maybe she went shopping so i sent her a text and headed towards my bedroom only to frown. normally she responded right away to my texts... had she maybe got called into work?

i put the phone down to go find the calendar because she had told me she always put down things like that on it if it happened. it wasn’t a common occurrence but it did happen from time to time. it had a picture of kittens on it, seeing it sort of made me smile because it reminded me that she liked stuff like that; she loved animals and had always had a fascination with them since she was a kid. it was one of the many things we’d talked about recently. i flipped it open to where she had a pen stuck in for jotting down notes. i saw a notice about it being close to being some anniversary thing for something but there was no note about being called in to take a shift. well, that was odd. i went back to check my phone and saw there was still no reply. she was normally good about that within five minutes... maybe she was distracted?

 

Sans: hey kiddo, have you seen ____ ?

Frisk: Nope, she went to talk to your brother.

Sans: so she’s with him huh? thanks kid.

Frisk: Yup.

 

i couldn’t help but wonder why it was she’d be out so late, but i wasn’t going to question it; knowing my brother he probably just lost track of the time since he didn’t get many visitors beyond us.

 

Sans: hey Pap

Papyrus: BROTHER! HOW ARE YOU?

Sans: i’m good. heard that you were with ____

Papyrus: YES, SHE DID COME OVER TO CHAT.

Sans: is she still there?

Papyrus: NO, SHE LEFT OVER THREE HOURS AGO.

 

i felt my soul sink. what could have happened?

 

Sans: Paps...  she hasn’t come home. are you sure she’s not still in the hotel?

 

there was a long pause, i knew my brother; he was always very meticulous about details like that and that was part of why he had the job he did now. one of the reasons anyway. the time seemed to pass by agonizingly slow.

 

Papyrus: BROTHER... I DON’T SEE HER AND SECURITY SAID SHE LEFT BUT HER CAR IS STILL HERE... I’M SENDING OUT HELP.

 

i felt my soul seize up. this couldn’t be happening. not now... not that i finally got a chance to make her happy, to be with her. sweet Asgore. she didn’t even know how i felt about her yet! we hadn’t talked about it... but there was no doubt in my mind now. i knew i needed to find her. i wasn’t going to do so here. i took a short cut to the motel and found my brother pacing before the car while security people fanned out. i noticed something too, there were some abandoned signs; anti-monster protesters. i stopped one of the officers.

“hey officer, when were those protesters here?”

“Hard to say, it wasn’t until the last hour or so we got them rounded up, some idiot shot off a firecracker and the crowd panicked.”

“were there any injuries?”

“Several, why?”

“it’s possible my girlfriend was swept up in the chaos. i’m looking for her, can you tell me what hospitals took the injured?”

“Sure.” she took out a pad of paper and wrote them down along with their addresses and handed them to me.

“thanks officer.” she nodded and i had a sinking feeling that one of those hospitals was where she was. i hoped it wasn’t serious.


	33. 32 - How The Story Ends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rescue Me by Kerri Roberts  
> Can't Fight This Feeling by Reo Speedwagon

_ This waking nightmare lingers _

_ When will the mirror stop telling lies? _

_ I don’t know where I’ve been _

_ Or where I’m goin’ _

_ But I can’t do it alone _

 

_ Rescue me _

_ Show me who I am _

_ 'Cause I can't believe _

_ This is how the story ends _

 

_ Fight for me _

_ If it's not too late _

_ Help me breathe again _

_ No, this can't be how the story ends _

  
  
  


Why did this seem so familiar? The song drifted through the air as you opened your eyes and looked up at a doctor. A face you didn’t know. Who was this? Where were you? 

 

“Miss Doe?” 

 

“Is... is that my name?” You ask.

  
  


**[Sans POV]**

 

_ I'm wrapped up and waiting for you _

_ I've lost so much more then i'll ever know _

_ The past, the truth forgotten _

_ Find me now  _

_ Before I lose it all _

_ I'm crying out _

  
  


i held my skull in my hands. i had searched every hospital on the list. nothing. not a single one of the hospitals had admitted someone with her description or name... it had been less than twenty-four hours and i felt like i was suffocating. where could she be? the news report on the incident listed several people injured and ___ had been listed among two unaccounted for... there were also two bodies... but i knew she wasn’t one of them. i had gone to the morgue the other day to see if i could identify her... i really had been shaken but i had been the best one to identify if it was her. it wasn’t, neither were. i felt a bit guilty that someone else had obviously been lost in such chaos but i hoped with all my might that she would turn up and smile at me. that she would just walk through the front door and tell me i was just worrying needlessly. it didn’t happen. how could this happen? it wasn’t fair! i can’t just lose her... i didn’t get a chance. i love her and i haven’t told her. i want to spend the night staring at stars. i want to get lost in those eyes. i want to hear her laughter at my jokes. i want to hear her gasp as i show her what it really means to be loved... i want to wake up to her every morning. i know, i’ve lost my mind. i can’t sleep. five days. five torturous days without hearing from her. no text. no call. the apartment seems so empty and big without her presence. i never realized just how much i depended on her to be here. how much life she gave this place. it’s not big by any standards but right now it feels too big. where are you? can you hear my soul calling out to yours? i paced the length of the park, what else was i to do? i couldn’t do much else and then i heard something that made me pause.

 

_ I can't fight this feeling any longer _

_ And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow _

_ What started out as friendship _

_ Has grown stronger _

_ I only wish I had the strength to let it show _

 

_ I tell myself that I can't hold out forever _

_ I said there is no reason for my fear _

_ 'Cause I feel so secure when we're together _

_ You give my life direction _

_ You make everything so clear _

 

i’ve been a fool for so long... i know this song. it was a song she loved to listen to for some reason. i can’t move. i want to run away from this song, this reminder of my failure.

 

_ And even as I wander _

_ I'm keeping you in sight _

_ You're a candle in the window _

_ On a cold, dark winter's night _

_ And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might _

 

_ And I can't fight this feeling anymore _

_ I've forgotten what I started fighting for _

_ It's time to bring this ship into the shore _

_ And throw away the oars, forever _

 

_ 'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore _

_ I've forgotten what I started fighting for _

_ And if I have to crawl upon the floor _

_ Come crashing through your door _

_ Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore _

 

my breath hitched. had i really fought my feelings for her? as i thought about it i considered that maybe i had; well, not the feelings themselves, but i had never told her had i? i had been a coward, hiding behind the others and saying we were friends. how could i ever admit, after all, to anyone that the two of us could never just be friends? how was i supposed to explain the fact that i had not hated her particularly even when we had first met. 

 

_ My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you _

_ I've been running round in circles in my mind _

_ And it always seems that I'm following you, girl _

_ 'Cause you take me to the places _

_ That alone I'd never find _

 

the truth? i had been drawn to her, curious about how a person could have two traits like that which seemed to be battling for dominance. i’d never seen the like before and because one trait was Determination and reminded me of Frisk... well, i had been an ass about it. i resented how close to like Frisk she was and that was my mistake. it had been easy to hate, to convince himself she was just like Frisk and would do the same instead of the person she really was.

 

_ And even as I wander _

_ I'm keeping you in sight _

_ You're a candle in the wind _

_ On a cold, dark winter's night _

_ And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might _

 

_ And I can't fight this feeling anymore _

_ I've forgotten what I started fighting for _

_ It's time to bring this ship into the shore _

_ And throw away the oars, forever _

 

_ 'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore _

_ I've forgotten what I started fighting for _

_ And if I have to crawl upon the floor _

_ Come crashing through your door _

_ Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore _

 

i was just grateful when it finally ended. when it did though i suddenly realized something, she had changed me. i wasn’t the same monster i’d been when she had met me. she had been my saving grace.


	34. 33 - Hello, Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Sound of Silence - Distrubed

* * *

  **Part 2**

* * *

 

 

_Hello darkness, my old friend,_

_I've come to talk with you again,_

_Because a vision softly creeping,_

_Left its seeds while I was sleeping,_

_And the vision that was planted in my brain_

_Still remains_

_Within the sound of silence_

 

Voices. So many voices, they seem to surround you constantly; you rarely understand what they’re saying and you can’t see a thing. You’re sure though, when they silence, that there’s one you can almost sense as if it’s nearby. Like a constant light, someone who is close to you and yet... so far away. You long to hear their voice... Who was it again? Whose voice were you trying to remember? Who you yearned to hear? You sit at the table, looking around, but you cannot put names or faces to those around you; they are nothing but silhouettes and glowing magic.... In the shape of hearts. Hearts? No... that wasn’t right... you knew what you were seeing. It was their souls. Each of them an upside down white and yet there was a faint hue to each that sat with you... aside from the human who seemed to have two red hearts... one was cyan... it belonged to one of the largest of those gathered at the table, the second one, who was more or less the same height had an orange hue, another seemed to have barely any soul at all but what little was there was a rainbow of colors. The one that drew your attention most was split into two, blue and yellow. You knew these colors had to mean ... something. But what? Suddenly they vanished.

 

_In restless dreams I walked alone_

_Narrow streets of cobblestone,_

_'Neath the halo of a street lamp,_

_I turned my collar to the cold and damp_

_When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light_

_That split the night_

_And touched the sound of silence_

 

You found yourself at a park, you knew it was familiar but at the same time... the place was foreign to you. You felt that you should know it but you didn’t. Wherever this was, it had a feeling of ‘home’ to it or... near enough and you walked, but you did not see anyone. It seemed there was no one around and you felt a sense of disappointment. You also felt lonely and depressed. What were you doing here? You didn’t feel like you belonged. You felt as if your entire being was being dragged down, but just as you slumped on the bench you swore you could hear the echo of a voice. As if calling out to your very soul.... Suddenly you weren’t so alone. When you looked up you saw a skeleton standing in front of you in a blue hoodie and black shorts with a white stripe along the front of each pant leg; he had an easy smile on his features and was holding out his hand to you like a friend. You knew you should be scared, panicking, but you weren’t afraid and you reached out with a smile.

 

 _“there you are. we’ve been looking for you, _____ .”_  

 

You shot up, looking around. You weren’t in a park, there was no skeleton. Who had that been? Why hadn’t you been afraid of them? Did you know him? You didn’t know why you thought the skeleton was male but something in you told you that the skeleton really was. Like some instinct inside that refused to be denied. _That dream... it was so real.... So... life like. Do I really know someone like that or was that just a dream?_ You couldn’t help but wonder, the doctor had spoken with you the other day and said that your memory would return, but that it could take time. You had suffered a massive concussion, apparently, and had been trampled on by panicked people.

It was a wonder you hadn’t been killed. You look at the bruises on your body and the cast that rest on your left hand. Yes, you had to agree that you were indeed very lucky as apparently there were over fifty people there. You could have easily been trampled to death but by some miracle you had survived it. Two others had not been so lucky. You weren’t sure why, but you watched the news, hoping for something on the event but after the first few days the incident was all but forgotten and you felt a sting of disappointment. As it happened your nurse was coming in when the news switched to the latest meeting with monsters and your jaw dropped. It was _him_.

 

“Nurse! Who is that skeleton behind the ambassador?” She knew that you’d lost your memory and was fortunately very patient with you.

“Him? That’s one of the Ambassador’s body guards, I believe his name is Sans. Do you know him?”

“I.... I don’t know... I... dreamed about him last night.” You can barely tear your eyes form the TV, apparently the Ambassador was making some sort of speech and when the screen shot away from them and the speech was over you looked over at the nurse.

“Sandy, is... is it possible that I know him? I mean I haven’t seen a picture of him until today but I dreamed about him last night. Could... the dream mean something?”

“I don’t really know, let me ask the doctor.” You nod. You felt hope swell within you. There had to be something to this, didn’t there? After all, why would you dream about a skeleton monster you’d never met before? That didn’t make any sense. You sat back as the nurse did the daily check up and then left to find the doctor. Everyone here was really nice to you, it was a nice change of pace really... well, no, that didn’t seem right. You scrunched up your nose, you knew you didn’t really like your job... whatever it was you did... but you had a feeling that the last few months or so had been pretty good. That you’d gotten over some huge hurdle and... your heart throbbed a little when you thought about the skeleton you’d just seen on TV. Sans. Who was he to you? A friend? A roommate? Why did you have a feeling there was something between you? Or at least on your side?

 

**[Frisk POV]**

 

I had hoped that getting away from the apartment would help him. None of us had any idea how to help Sans and it hurt to see him like this. He just, wasn’t himself. It was like I had a second shadow when he was around, he didn’t joke and rarely said anything. Sometimes it was really hard to get his attention too. I’m deeply worried about him, but what can I do? I’m just a kid. I might be the Monster Ambassador but I’m also the same kid who royally screwed things over for him with all those times I did a genocide run just to see what would happen... to see who would say what. To sate my own morbid curiosity until I had done everything; explored every avenue, read all the books and found every secret place there was to find in the Underground. I had thousands upon thousands of reloads with the first few resets, especially the first time I did a full genocide and ended up facing Sans in the Judgement Hall. That’s a nightmare I will never forget. I never did go further than that though.

 

It seemed wrong to despite all Chara said and tried to do. Chara never controlled me. They were with me through it all, but never once was I possessed by their ghost or anything like that. Thing is, even after I had beat him... I didn’t stop there. Instead I reset and did it all over again... and again... and again and again and again and - well, I did it until I got bored. He never said the same thing twice and after so many resets he stopped speaking all together. Like he had simply given up trying to persuade me to spare him, his friends and his brother. Then, after one reset, just as I got to him, I didn’t approach him like normal. He didn’t seem to notice I was there. He just was standing against a pillar with a bottle of ketchup in one hand. I’d seen him do this the last couple resets and I began to wonder something. Why was I even doing this? What was the point of it all? That was the last time I did a genocide run. When I did the pacifist run, I did everything the way I should have the first time. I befriended everyone, I even went on a date with Papyrus but Sans... even though he would toss out jokes and puns to keep his brother distracted... I knew every time he looked at me that he was waiting for me to turn on him. That he was just waiting for me to dust someone. It didn’t happen though. I was done, I don’t even remember why I had done it in the first place. Even then though, when we had stood looking at the stars that night, he wasn’t so despondent as he is right now.

 

None of us have ever seen him act this way and Papyrus is fretting with worry. He visits Sans often, trying to do something to distract him; anything. Sans goes along with whatever Papyrus wants but I can see how little effort he puts into things. Not that he put in much before but now it’s almost non-existent. None of us want to accept that _____ is gone, that she might not be coming back, but we’ve done everything we can to find her. The last month has been excruciating. Maybe I’m not the best person in the world, despite all I’ve done to ensure Monsterkind is treated well, but Sans is still my friend. I want him to be happy, more than anything else. I’m determined to find her myself if I must. Even with summer coming to an end I have no doubt that she needs to be found because I’m not sure how much more of this not-knowing Sans can take. He doesn’t deserve this. Not after everything I’ve put him through.


	35. 34 - Father

What day was it? Oh right... it was a Saturday. The nurses were nice enough to you but really there was very little to do around the hospital that kept your attention for long. You had no idea who you were honestly. Apparently “Jane Doe” was just what they called you since no one knew who you really were. You were still waiting on some blood work that would let the authorities identify you. That would be, you had heard, something that tomorrow would likely reveal. You began to wander about the lounge you’d been told you could go to where other patients who suffered similar things were resting, playing games or watching TV. You had no interest in any of that. You weren’t sure why but you really were bored. The other patients eyed you like you were a stranger, which you essentially were. You weren’t exactly here to make friends but you thought they could at least be civil rather than stare at you blankly... oh well.

You’d already read all of the books that were of vague interest to you. One novel and handful of children’s books weren’t enough to keep you busy for a whole day. You also weren’t sure what it was you should be doing actually, were you even back to living your day to day life. According to the news too it had been close to a week since the indent had even happened... was that right? You considered this... well according to the report the incident had happened on a Saturday... so it wasn’t just nearly a week, it had been exactly seven days. Seven days without your memory, of knowing you were- are - ... without knowing if you had family or friends that missed you. Were you alone in this world? Did you have family? You were wondering this as you moved over to a window only to hear someone come in and walk over. You turned to see an older man who seemed to share your features in some respects, same hair color and eyes; who was this?

“____?”

“Uh...”

“I know this might be hard to believe, but I’ve been looking for you for a few days. I’m your father and your name is ____.” You frown in thought, well... it was better than “Jane Doe” and he had what looked like a photo album tucked under one arm. Apparently the doctors had let him in. Well you had no reason to think that someone would just randomly come and claim you and even though your mind wasn’t sure there was a feeling deep within that told you that you should believe him. That he was telling the truth. You wondered if this feeling was right but then again, didn’t they say that the heart can remember what the head forgets? So then... he probably was your father.

“I believe you.” You find yourself saying and the man before you, who supposedly raised you, seemed to feel some sense of relief.

“I’ve got something to show you, I don’t know if it will help with your memory but the doctors said it couldn’t hurt.” You nod and follow him to an empty table. He begins to show you photos of you as a child, There were no pictures of you with friends, only family, and he told you everyone’s name and had a story for almost every picture or person who was there in the photo with you. As you went through the book with him you felt a sense of nostalgia and warmth for most of the photos. A few were of animals and didn’t invoke any sense of feeling beyond curiosity, if that. You listened as much to his voice as you did to what he was saying. The smooth timbre gave you a sense of love and gentle care. You liked the sound of it and smiled a little as he closed the book.

“I don’t remember any of it, but... I feel like I should.”

“Well, you can come home with me for a while. We’ll let your work know that you’ve been found.”

“Do I have any friends?”

“Not that I know of.” Well that was a disappointment, but not a surprise. After all none of the photos had shown you having any friends so why would that have changed? You felt that wasn’t right though. What about that skeleton you’d been dreaming about? Sans. What was Sans to you? Did you maybe work with him on something? Was he a new friend? No... that didn’t feel right. Whenever you thought about him your heart began to race and you felt your cheeks grow warm. You were in love with him. Did he know though? Were you.... Lovers? That last part didn’t seem to ring true in your mind but you didn’t dismiss the possibility of it. After all, you were a grown adult and could make your own choices. You weren’t a virgin, you knew that much... much as you might wish to be. You had vaguely remembered the feeling of your first kiss and how things were supposed to go in a relationship... at least you thought you knew.

“I see... well. Thank you for telling me.” You wondered if maybe what you felt for the skeleton you felt you should know was just fantasy. Maybe you had made it all up, after all shouldn’t your father have known if you had a boyfriend or something like that? So then why did the thought of it all being in your head hurt so much?

 

You went back to your room once the man- no, your father had left. He seemed nice, and hadn’t he come to the hospital to help? He’d even brought a photo album to help you remember your life. Surely he couldn’t be a bad individual and you had felt that you could trust him. You weren’t sure about your memories but so far you feelings had been true and your heart had told you to not only trust him but the love for him was there, as your father. You cared for him deeply. You had learned a lot today, it had wore you out and so you lay in bed to take a nap.

  


**[Sans POV]**

 

i wasn’t sure why Frisk had dragged me here of all place and then just left me in the lobby room, telling me that i was supposed to wait there. why were we here? what did it matter? what is the point anymore? i felt a hesitant tap on my shoulder and looked up, wondering what it was Fri- that wasn’t Frisk.

“Um, sorry to bother you. It’s just... uh... I know you... don’t I?”

“_____...” i felt my soul shake, i found her. i finally found her! wait... what had she said?

“s-sorry, i spaced a little. what was it you said?” She smiled faintly.

“I asked if I know you, I mean... more than just from TV. Are we friends or something?” what? friends?

“____ don’t you remember?” She shook her head.

“The doctors say I have amnesia. I... don’t even really know who I am, what I like... I’m sorry.” i hugged her. i couldn’t help it, she was safe. that was all that really mattered. amnesia, gods what cruel fate. she didn’t know who i was or remembered Frisk or any of her friends... why did something like this have to happen? why had she even been there in the first place? Papyrus hadn’t given me any clues as to why she had been there, it didn’t matter; but it seems that i have a long way to go. i know i should take this slow, but my soul aches something fierce. she doesn’t remember me... or the date... or... anything we’ve done together. not even the things that make her, well, her. i’m going to help her though. as a promise to the both of us,

“So uh... I guess we’re close?”

“you could say that. look, don’t worry too much about it okay? i’ll do what i can to help and i’m sure the others will too.” i say after i’ve released her. i know the others are going to be happy. i know i am.

 

**[Your POV]**

 

It was weird, being hugged by someone that you can’t even remember, but at the same time you couldn’t help but smile and your heart seemed to flutter. For a skeleton monster, he was a lot warmer and softer than you had expected him to be. After all, shouldn’t someone made of only bones be uncomfortable to hug and cold? It didn’t make any sense, then again he was a monster; it didn’t have to make logical sense in terms of comparing him to a human skeleton. He wasn’t a human skeleton, maybe that was the difference? You weren’t sure and you weren’t sure if it was considered rude or not to ask so you opted for the safe route and didn’t. There were so many questions that you had though! Did skeleton monsters eat? How did they digest food if they did? Could they eat human food? Did they have tongues? What about other organs?

Also... perhaps more importantly, why did you have this overwhelming sense of familiarity with him? Like you knew something about him that few did, but you couldn’t for the life of you remember what that something was or why it seemed so important. You weren’t sure about what possible answers awaited for you in the memory that you had lost, but you did know one thing. Sans wasn’t just another friend to you; it wasn’t that he’d come off as anything but friendly during his visit, but it was just something you were sure about. After all, why else would you dream of him at night? Why else would you not even remember your own name and yet you knew who he was? He had to be important, somehow.


	36. 35 - In My Dreams

There was a feeling of heaviness to the dream. You weren’t sure why. Suddenly you heard someone call your name. You looked over. It was that taller skeleton you’d learned a few days ago.... What was his name again? Papyrus! That was it. He was Sans’ brother and the other bodyguard for Frisk who was approaching you. You don’t hear them speak but you see their hands move rapidly and you find you oddly know what they are trying to get you to do even though you don’t really understand the symbols themselves. You can almost hear a soft voice in your mind, interpreting their symbols for you. Frisk wants you to play. You shake your head and they frown but then you catch sight of **him**.

 

You feel, a sense of rebellion, like he was some authority that you childishly wanted to go against. You weren’t sure why, but you decided that you weren’t going to let him stop you. You knew he was watching you, but you did your best to ignore him, doing a quick few stretches before launching yourself wholeheartedly into a game of frisbee. There were others there too... but you didn’t know them. Laughter rang through the air. You were having fun, and no rude skeleton was going to ruin it for you! Why exactly were you mad at him again? Before you could question it things stopped making sense.

 

“Excuse me human!” You saw Papyrus standing in front of you with Sans.

“What can I help you with?”

“Where can I find the pasta?” You blinked... pasta? Did you maybe work at a grocery store?

“Aisle six.” The answer came easily. He didn’t use your name... was this your first meeting or something? Things began to jumble.

“It’s a beautiful day out. Birds are singing... flowers are blooming, and on days like these... people like me should be burning in hell...”

“i disagree.” You yelp, spinning around...

Frisk smiled up at you.

*Thanks for helping me with my homework, _____! This stuff is really tough!

You smile.

“Of course, happy to help any time.”

“i’ve heard a lot about you from the others... but you know... you don’t fool me.”

“Excuse me?”

“you humans... you can exist without mercy, love, compassion... everything that makes up a monster soul. you’ve been overly kind with the others... but i know better. you’re just doing your job, just like everyone else up here... you don’t really care, do you? you can fool the others, but i know better. i know what you humans are really like and frankly... i hate humans.” He... what?!?!

 

The smell of butterscotch and cinnamon pie filled you and you looked down even as you heard someone calling your name. It appeared that you’d flattened a piece of meat pretty good... You look over, it’s Frisk and... the goat monster again. They seem concerned about something.

“You brats better beat it!” You hear yourself say, one of them says something back but you’re too angry to really register the threat behind it even as you answer back hotly.

“Don’t talk back to me, punk. You’ll leave us alone if you know what’s good for you.” It was just you and Frisk versus five others, but you were feeling too angry to care.

You were enchanted with the evening, it all seemed so surreal the moment you had seen the area he’d set up. It wasn’t fancy or anything, but that didn’t matter because you have never been as materialistic as most humans tended to be. You weren’t impressed by fancy cars or flashy jewelry. This was something very few people who knew you, or got to know you, ever figured out. You enjoyed the things that money couldn’t summon at a whim, like this feeling that you felt now; this peacefulness as you gazed up at the stars.

 

You sat up in bed. What? What the heck had all of **that** been? You nearly groan when you see that it’s 1:15 am. You were probably the only one up in this entire place other than one or two night nurses. Great. You knew you weren’t getting back to sleep any time soon. The doctor had confirmed that it was very possible that you were remembering your life through your dreams. Most of the dreams, however, had started and ended the way that last one had. Glimpses of things and nothing made really any sense... at least that one had started out making some sense... then it had to shift and got all wonky on you. So this had become your life now.... Wait, why did _that_ seem familiar? Oh well, there was no way you’d remember why. At least not anytime soon.

 

At this hour there was nothing to do but sleep, but you really weren’t looking forward to that; if only the dreams could be more... straightforward. There was at least one constant to all the dreams that you’d been having. Each and every one of them Sans had been there at some point; sometimes he was alone, sometimes with his brother and other times with monsters whose features you couldn’t even make out let alone remember who they were supposed to be. What confused you though was that the feelings surrounding him seem conflicted half the time. Sometimes you were happy to see him, other times you felt sad or angry. You also felt shy.... Sympathy, empathy, embarrassed, magnanimity...  that last one sort of confused you really. One thing you had figured out for certain, no matter how long or short of a time you had known the skeleton, he was a key element in your life like no one else was, except maybe your own father.

 

You had begun remembering things from your childhood too, these seemed to come shortly after you saw Sans. Fights mostly, but also good times... what few those were as it seemed that there was very few times in your life where you’d been genuinely happy in your school years. This, you’d figured out, had started with the day you’d turned seven years old. The day you’d realized no one but your dad really cared about you because no one had bothered to show up for your birthday and only one of the kids out of your entire class had thought to even send a gift; or their parents had anyway. You didn’t even remember what the gift was. It didn’t matter and you had brushed it off like it was just a normal day... but it hadn’t been. It had changed your life forever. That was the day you had ceased to be an innocent child because you had been shown just how bitterly cold the real world truly was and just how little humans cared for someone who was not their own family.

 

From that point on in your life, you had begun to turn cold towards the world; or at least you had tried, you still had a compassionate heart no matter what. You’d also begun to remember bits and pieces about yourself as well, like you’d remembered how your father had often bought your favorite cake for your birthday, the video games and books you had read as a child... the first time you had read an “adult” romance novel... your first kiss.... Your favorite color, what TV shows you’d loved watching in your childhood and why they had fascinated you; what type of food you loved to eat and what you’d turn your nose up at. You remembered that, while your childhood hadn’t been ideal, it was a lot rougher than college life.

 

There were a lot of other little things about your life that popped into your mind. Times you had spent with your family, your cousins, with other children who were supposed to have been friends but really weren’t. As rough as things had been, it wasn’t like you’d ever starved or anything, the only thing you’d been starved for had been the connection to other humans who weren’t related to you. After all, it wasn’t like you had gotten along with all of your cousins and even those you had gotten along with you’d felt more like it was sort of a obligatory thing on their part because you were related rather than them actually being interested in being nice. You remembered times when you had been mad at your parents for one reason or another.

 

As you stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought, you weren’t entirely sure how much time had passed since you’d first been brought to the hospital. At some point, you’d lost track, or maybe that was just because of how early in the morning was. Your mind began to remember the events of the previous day. You’d met a man who claimed to be your father and the doctors had confirmed, when you’d asked later, that he was indeed your father. You were ____, and you had gone missing during the riot outside an MTT Resort hotel. He wasn’t your only visitor though, Sans had appeared; the skeleton who was in your dreams so often. Seeing him, and speaking with him had been a little awkward, but at the same time there had been an unspoken sense of relief at seeing him, at being held by him. There were still a lot of holes in your memory, but there was no mistaking the way that you had reacted to him upon sight.

 

The first glimpse that you’d had of him had sent your heart a flutter and while you were confused about that, it also had explained why you had dreamt of him so often; why of all those you seemed to know, he was the one you had remembered even when you didn’t even know your own name. Well, at least later on today you were going to be leaving the hospital. Your father had said that he would take you home with him. Maybe being there would help restore your memory? You weren’t sure, but you were hopeful about it nonetheless and, if it was nearby, you could probably visit some of your childhood haunts as well; see the schools you’d gone to and places where you had played as a child. You were aware, though, that these places might not be close as people did move around during their lifetime, the question though was... how often had you moved and would revisiting such places really trigger memories or was it just a waste of time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seems like life's pretty confusing for you. The dreams probably more so. What does fate have in store for you now? How can you pick up your life if you can't even remember it?


	37. 36 - Not Just Romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lost In Your Eyes by Debbie Gibson

_ I get lost in your eyes _

_ And I feel my spirits rise _

_ And soar like the wind _

_ Is it love that I am in? _

 

_ I get weak in a glance _

_ Isn't this what's called romance _

_ And now I know _

_ 'Cause when I'm lost I can't let go _

 

_ I don't mind not knowing what I'm headed for _

_ You can take me to the skies _

_ It's like being lost in heaven _

_ When I'm lost in your eyes _

 

_ I just fell, don't know why _

_ Something's there we can't deny _

_ And when I first knew _

_ Was when I first looked at you _

 

_ And if I can't find my way _

_ If salvation seems worlds away _

_ Oh, I'll be found _

_ When I am lost in your eyes _

 

_ Whoa oh _

_ I don't mind not knowing what I'm headed for _

_ You can take me to the skies _

_ It's like being lost in heaven _

_ When I'm lost in your eyes _

 

_ I get weak in a glance _

_ Isn't this what's called romance _

_ Oh, I'll be found _

_ When I am lost in your eyes _

_ Whoa oh _

 

You sing with the song, your voice is a little rusty, but there’s no one around to hear so it doesn’t matter; it was a wonderful song and you loved to sing. Debbie Gibson was a good singer and there were a number of her songs that you liked, but not just her; you had found that you really usually weren’t picky about the music you listened to, though there were a few types you’d like to avoid altogether. This wasn’t one of them. There was something about this song that made you think of Sans. As you repeated the song you felt the memories nudging at your mind. You closed your eyes and relaxed as you listened to the song; there was no sensation that told you that you’d heard this song with him around but still your mind seemed to drift to him while you’d listened to the song so you let it guide you. Technically he didn’t really have eyes like what you had seen on any other monster or living thing, but that didn’t matter; you remembered something.... You didn’t force it to come but waited patiently just as you’d been told. It wasn’t a definite thing but you remembered thinking at one time while looking at yourself that you weren’t obsessing over him and yet... something in you had been telling you otherwise at the time. That had been the beginning of these feelings you had for him. At the moment, your father was outside the house with said skeleton. The two were talking, they had not known of one another so their meeting had come as a shock when both had arrived at the hospital a couple of days ago, both set on taking you back home with them. That had led to today. You had ended up at your father’s apartment. It wasn’t what one would call modern in its style but it wasn’t very colorful either so it wasn’t exactly a welcoming place, but it wasn’t exactly cold either... it was just... there was no real words to explain it. You ignored your thoughts on it as you focused on what your mind was trying to tell you. At the word “romance” you caught a flash of something. Quiet laughter, starlight and candle light beneath a tree on a mountain that overlooked a scene that he had seen when he had first come to the surface.... A sense of wonder and.. Something else, you had been deeply touched that he would share something like that with you; something so special.

 

Salvation. That word could have such deep meaning and at the same time, not. It reminded you that he and his friends had freed you from the darkness that had been your life. He had been your salvation, and yet you remembered something that had been sent to you... some conversation with ... who was it again? Frisk. Yes, that was their name.

 

You: What are you talking about? 

Frisk: I’ve been around him a long time, trust me when I say that he likes you.

You: Like you said at your party?

Frisk: Yeah, but not just that. I don’t think you understand. When he came up to the surface he wasn’t like he is now.

You: What do you mean?

Frisk: Well, he was optimistic but at the same time... heavily nihilistic. He wanted things to be good for Dunkle Paps’ sake but he never really seemed to believe that things could be better for them at the same time. He used to joke a lot, constantly make puns to hide his real thoughts.

You: Yeah?

Frisk: Yes. Since he’s met you, though, he hasn’t done it as much. It’s like you’ve awaken him from a dark dream or something. That’s the only thing I can think to compare it to. He seems genuinely happy when he talks about you.

 

When had that conversation taken place? Sometime after a birthday party, that’s about all your brain seemed to want to tell you. You hadn’t been feeling the greatest either. That memory came with the sensation of heavy disbelief and depressiveness. There was a notion that followed it. Something about a bottle of pills that you knew you had waiting for you. That was all you had gotten from that and you couldn’t help but sigh. Well, at least it was  _ something _ , even if it was only a small bit of something.

  
  


**[Sans POV]**

 

well, wasn’t this awkward. i knew she had family of course, but the day before had been a bit of a shock. i had planned on taking her back to the apartment, but that’s when i came face to face with the older man that was standing outside the apartment with me now. i knew we kinda had a lot of ground to cover and probably not a lot of time to do so.

“So, how do you know my daughter?” oh boy. well, maybe it would be better if he didn’t know how our first meetings went... she didn’t seem to remember that yet so probably for the best if i don’t go into detail.

“well, we met at her work. i was shoppin’ with my brother, Papyrus. we moved into town so Frisk could go to school without all the hassle of bein’ the monster ambassador.” he nodded a little, he seemed to understand and he knew who i was... at least by reputation; he’d kept up with the news so at least i didn’t have to explain everything to him.

“she helped us find some stuff. Paps has a way of making friends with just about everyone... after a while we got to know each other an’ the rest is kinda history.”

“What are you to her?” crap. 

“well... i don’t really know. i mean, before all this we’d gone on a date, and we were friends... but uh, nothing else.”

“So you wanted to date her.” straight and to the point. i watched him as he absorbed this information.

“yeah. she’s important to us, to me; she’s a very special person, and i... uh... just want to show her how wonderful things can be. she deserves the best an’ if she lets me... i’ll give it to her. i didn’t get a chance to tell her before... all this. i love her.” two words i never had dreamed of admitting about anyone until now.

“Yeah, she does. Well, I have no problems with this as long as you make my little girl happy. You watch out for her, take care of each other; this thing with her memory.” great. here it was.

“This is only temporary. I’m sure she’ll remember eventually, but don’t push it. I don’t think I need to tell you what will happen if you hurt her.” i swallowed a little, even though i don’t have a throat. there was a look in those eyes that i’ve only seen myself a few times and honestly, i didn’t blame him.

“no, that’s perfectly clear.” 

“Good. So, I think it would be a good idea for her to go back with you.” what? well, that was a surprise.

“wouldn’t it be better for her here?” 

“No, this isn’t her home town; she doesn’t have a lot of memories here.”

“oh. okay then, do you know places where she might then?” 

“Yeah, I’ll make a list of addresses for you.” 


	38. 37 - Home

The drive back to the apartment that you’d been told was home, was a fairly long one. At least it was for you because there wasn’t much said in the three hours it took to get from one city to the small apartment. You weren’t sure what you were expecting. You had the idea though that maybe it would help, maybe spark ... something. You couldn’t help the feeling of disappointment, however when you walked through the door, looked at what was supposed to be the home you shared with Sans and .... nothing. You had to tell yourself that this was real life, you weren’t going to suddenly remember everything all at once and certainly not because you’d just stepped into a house. Your house. Okay, it wasn’t a house, it was a two bedroom apartment, but still. You had been hoping and now those hopes were crushed. It was just a house, well, not technically but you didn’t care much about that as you went from room to room. You know Sans was watching your every movement as you went from room to room; you consider that he’s probably hoping that you would remember something; just like you were. You take a deep breath as the last room you enter is the bedroom. You stare at it. Waiting for something to occur. You close your eyes and just stand there for a moment, you feel... something. It’s not quite nostalgia but it’s like your mind is trying to tell you something. You feel something tugging at your mind and rather than force it, you actually follow the doctor’s orders and just let it be. It was like a wave crashing over you, causing you to stagger back.

“whoa there.” You remembered. The break up, the day you first set eyes on a pair of skeletons in the store just to there to get pasta.... The fight with Sans, the anger and hatred from him, the friendliness of Frisk and the way you felt at home with Toriel, like she had given birth to you... how you felt like the best friend to Papyrus... a confidant to the sullen flower monster, Flowey who was really Asriel. The feeling of being accepted by Alphys and Undyne and Frisk being like the little sibling you’d never really had.... The building incident... the park incident... the pills.... Oh God... the hospital... the touching scene that night with Sans beneath the stars... Going to Papyrus at Mettaton's hotel to speak with him about dating Sans... then... the crowd.... Waking up in the hospital. Suddenly everything made sense.

“you okay?” You looked up at him and smiled.

“Yes, I remember now. Everything.”

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

the drive back was a quiet one. i felt like there was something missing and i knew what it was. i enjoyed her company, of course, but the banter we normally did and the easy companionship we had built over the many months just wasn’t there. she barely knew who i was. who anyone was really. the doctors had said not to push it, to give it time and honestly... i wasn’t really lookin’ forward to any of this. it felt like being stabbed in the soul every time she’d look at me and there was that lack of real recognition. she didn’t remember how rocky we’d started out, how she’s changed me, my view of her and most humans. now that i think about it, i don’t really consider the majority all that bad; they’re just tryin’ to live like the rest of us in the only ways they know how to. it’s not always pretty or nice, but for the most part humans can be just as friendly as my brother or as ... excitable as Undyne. i would be lyin’ if i didn’t say that i hoped there would be some recollection of even the tiniest memory when we’d gotten into the house but there was nothing. i watched her walk from room to room, i think she was hoping just like i was that some how memories would return with each room. didn’t seem to matter what room though. i followed her to the bedroom, wondering if maybe this room was it. nothing. i almost didn’t catch her when she suddenly seemed to stumble back.

“whoa there.” she looked up at me though and smiled and i swear i froze. it seemed like forever since i had seen her look at me like that.

“you okay?” did i dare hope? the very thing i’d been hoping to hear came next.

“Yes, I remember now. Everything.” i had no words at that moment. she...

“you... do?” i found it hard to speak.

“I do.” i wasn’t sure how to really process it, but then again, i didn’t really have time to as she pulled me close for a kiss. i felt my like my soul had wings... i felt lighter, almost care free in that moment. i was addicted to this sensation that went through me. was this what it was truly like to be happy? it felt like it, and i didn’t want to lose this feeling; ever.

 

**[Your POV]**

 

You had been uncertain before how this would work. After all you’d never really kissed someone who didn’t have lips. It was an odd sensation, different, but it wasn’t unpleasant; there was actually a sort of pleasant tingling sensation that ran through you and you realized, or some part of you did, that it had to be his magic you felt. The subtle magic that was his life force, that kept him moving. Some part of your mind knew he was a monster first and a skeleton second, he wasn’t a skeleton that happened to be a monster, he was a monster that just happened to be a skeleton... or skeleton like at any rate. After all the only other skeletons you’d seen hadn’t talked or moved, and certainly didn’t use magic. Well okay, there WAS the skeleton villain Skeletor from He-Man but that didn’t count! When you drew back you wondered a moment why you had kissed him... oh right... because you’d just been so happy and had wanted to share it with him... Aaaaaaannnd now that you’d thought about it, that really didn’t make much sense did it? You met his eyelights realizing that you hadn’t actually asked him if this would work or if his kind of monster even kissed or anything like it.

“Uh...” You weren’t sure what to say, but Sans didn’t seem to mind and the subtle smile he seemed to be giving you just then said a lot. Whether or not skeletons kissed didn’t really seem to matter. He wasn’t complaining. You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your own face, you were home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Fanart Cover ](https://jynx10.deviantart.com/art/His-Saving-Grace-Cover-AGuardianOfDreams-735548608?src=MC_deviation_stack)


	39. 38 - It Was Just Another Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected turn of events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Echo by Crusher-P

_The clock stopped ticking forever ago_

_How long have I been up?_

_I don’t know._

 

_I can’t get a grip_

_But I can’t let go_

_There wasn’t anything to hold on to so_

 

_Why can’t I see,_

_Why can’t I see_

_All the colors that you see?_

 

_Please can I be_

_Please can I be_

_Colorful and free?_

 

_What the hell’s going on on?_

_Can someone tell me please_

_Why I’m changing faster than the channels on TV_

 

_I’m black then I’m white_

_No something isn’t right_

_My enemy’s invisible I don’t know how to fight_

 

It was one of those days. Anything that could wrong seemed to inevitable do so. First you’d woken up from a nightmare, one you couldn’t even fully remember. Then you were nearly late for work. Then of course there was a kid who was barely out of high school who thought you should remember him, had no ID on him at all and thought that you weren’t doing your job because you wouldn’t sell him alcohol. Then he’d called you a bitch on his way out DESPITE the fact that one of your co-workers had broken rule and sold him the alcohol even though you both knew better and knew that he had no ID. Your pen had exploded in your pocket so now your shirt and ID were stained with ink marks. You had forgotten to bring your water bottle and something to eat, so while there was water you were SOL on the food because you didn’t have any money on you either. You were sore, tired and pissed by the end of your shift at the snot-nosed brat who thought he was above the law. If that wasn’t enough, the day before you were still irked from working with a co-worker who had no respect for you, despite that you were older, didn’t like the job and did absolutely nothing unless he was told to by a manager which just meant you had to do **more** work just to make sure things went the way they were supposed to. Could things get worse? Yes, yes they could. You’d gotten a notice on DA where a group you’d had fun role playing with had suddenly decided that you shouldn’t anymore and had someone sent a note that was their civil way of saying “fuck off” where nothing was actually discussed with you about said character or anything and it was supposedly a unanimous decision. No one had asked your opinion or asked why your character was that way when their characters were all foul mouthed assholes and somehow THAT was okay but heaven forbid anyone with a different opinion ever be a part of “their narratives” as they had put it.

 

Seriously, how arrogant could one be? Plus on top of that they thought an omniverse was possible... Riiiiiiight, and you could punch a hole into a brick wall with your bare fist. Not. Why were people so stupidly arrogant? I mean, there was no way on this planet they could possibly build an omniverse, that would require everyone of ALL ages and languages to be a part of it and you knew YOU certainly weren’t from the get-go so if they were excluding you and all the stuff you’d made then why in the hell would they call themselves an omniverse when the very word in the dictionary meant “every” ?? You weren’t so much pissed off by it as you were disappointed by the group’s arrogance and decision that you were to be left out and that you couldn’t even role play as you had been just because “they” - whoever they was - decided they didn’t like your ideals and they didn’t like the truth of how things really were so they were going to just vote you out.

 

Sure it it was their multiverse, but there was nothing fair in what they did or their views. No explanation given. Just a sudden: Oh, you don’t fit our ideals so go away. Oh and by the way, the only reason we haven’t blocked you is because you’re an avid reader.

 

What the actual fuck? THAT was their reasoning for not blocking on the site that allowed for that? After all the abuse their characters had given yours.... All the insults and what not, they weren’t blocking YOU because you were a reader? Seriously... if you took any of this seriously you should have blocked THEM ages ago and dumped their sorry asses. But no, your character was a **true guardian** which meant - for better or worse - they had to make sure nothing interfered with that place. So there was **that** as well. Suffice to say, you weren’t having a good day. By the time you got home you were sore, grumpy and hungry. Not a good combination honestly. So when you got home to an empty apartment you flopped down on your bed, not even bothering to get out of your work things. You were ready for this day to be over. You didn’t hear a door open. You never did actually, but you knew when he was around; you weren’t sure if it was just some old forgotten survival instincts or what, but you knew when Sans was at least in the apartment. It seemed, however, he was not currently around. You weren’t sure if you preferred this or not given your current mood. After a long moment of laying on the bed you decide you want to try and start this day over for yourself and you get out of your work clothes, toss them on the floor and climb into bed without a second’s thought as to weather or not what you were left with was decent for sleep. You just wanted to end your torment and this seemed like the best solution for the moment. You pulled the blanket over yourself and snuggled into the pillow. You closed your eyes and sighed. It had not occurred to you that you should have close the bedroom door completely. You were nearly completely asleep when you felt that feeling.

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

the house was more silent that i was used to, normally when i came in there was at least the sound of furious typing or the sound of quiet music, but not this time. it made me wonder, shouldn’t she be home by now? i searched the various rooms, starting with the most obvious ones, but she wasn’t in the kitchen or the living room so i thought maybe she was in the bedroom. i was right, but why was she in bed? i know she liked sleeping in, but i didn’t think she’d sleep in and not go to work; that wasn’t really the sort of person she is. even if she might wish it. i mean, who would want to be at work when they could sleep? especially having her job, she had managed in the past few months to move more permanently into the wine and spirits department but that place wasn’t necessarily better than her being on the other registers. i wasn’t sure if she was actually asleep or not.

“yey, you up?”

“Kinda.”

“what are you doin’ in bed?”

“I was trying to restart the day by taking a nap.”

“that bad huh?”

“Yeah.” i considered my options at this point. a nap really sounded good actually.

“mind if i join ya?”

“Um act-” i had already made the mistake of lifting the covers before she’d fully answered, i dropped the covers in surprise when i realized she hadn’t actually changed into any night clothes. I felt my cheeks heat up.

“Sans?” i looked over to see she’d turned a bit and was looking over at me a bit concerned and with a hint of a flush. Well, she **had** tried to warn me.

“I... uh....” it wasn’t like she had no clothes on, but i definitely was not ready for this scenario... she was beautiful.... Her skin had looked so soft and inviting....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how embarrassing...


	40. 39: Two Souls, One Heartbeat

**[Sans POV]**

 

I’d have to be dead to not be tempted. I ain’t that kind of monster though and honestly, this was just downright embarrassing.

“I uh... should... yeah.” i don’t think i’ve ever had such trouble stringing a sentence together in all my existence since i learned to talk. i might be a monster, but i’d have to be dead to not appreciate the view i’d just witnessed.

 

**[Your POV]**

 

If the situation wasn’t so embarrassing you might have actually thought that the blue that was splattered on the other’s skull about now was cute. Well, okay, it was cute but it didn’t help you get over your embarrassment. You weren’t so much embarrassed by the lack of clothing itself as you were about how awkward this was due to the fact that your relationship was still very new. There weren’t exactly rules about this sort of thing, but if anyone but the two of you ever found out about it the outsider would more than likely frown upon the situation. You might be two, grown, consenting adults who lived in the 21st century, but that didn’t mean that old decorum was out the window entirely. Anything beyond kissing and holding hands within the first four or five dates was considered undesirable for a real partnership and often was seen as an indication that one, or both, were not committed to the relationship itself and were just after the “one thing.” You didn’t peg Sans to be that sort of monster really and it wasn’t just because you were head over heels for the guy.

 

After all, if he really had been that sort of individual wouldn’t he have had several relationships by now since coming to the surface? It just didn’t fit. Even if Sans was too lazy to do any real work it didn’t seem like he’d be someone to be careless about a relationship and considering just how much family meant to him, that seemed more like the opposite sort of thing for him to be in terms of personality. He really wasn’t as lazy as most thought he was anyway. He slept a lot only because he worked a lot, he needed the energy just to get through the day. You’d seen that for yourself so you didn’t really mind when he took a nap because you understood the why behind it, even if no one else did. You’d puzzled out, somewhat, what Sans really was like behind the “smoke and mirrors” act he often put up for the others.

 

He wasn’t exactly open, but he hadn’t shut you out either; in fact, it was one of the things that you had in common with him. One of several if you were honest about it. You shook away the thoughts of that though as you tried to stay in the present and figure out exactly what you should do now. So far he hadn’t left, despite that he’d hinted at it in the broken sentence just moments before. What was the right response to this? You didn’t want to seem like you were trying to just get that one thing out of him but you also didn’t really want him to leave. After several moments of uncomfortable silence had ticked by you made up your mind. You put one hand on his, he glanced over, looking adorably like a blueberry still.

“You don’t have to go. Not if you don’t want to.” As you said as much it felt right. Maybe you two weren’t ready for the next level, but you felt comfortable around him. You trusted him. You both had come quite a long way since you had first met.

 

**[Sans POV]**

 

i’ve never been in a situation like this. i’m not all sure what the right thing to do is exactly, but i don’t think either one of us is ready to take our relationship to the next level. We’ve only been out on a few dates at the most. i was a little surprised that she didn’t boot me out of the room. i considered what she’d said... how she had said it. she wasn’t exactly offering an open invitation, not that i’d accept if she was, but she wasn’t kicking me out either. She was leaving it up to me to decide whether or not to go or to stay. i guess she’s that comfortable or something... maybe the “or something” in this case because the way she’s looking at me now, i can see the trust in her eyes. It’s really a humbling thing, i have to admit, to see that sort of look from a human. or from anyone for that matter.

 

i trust her to not do anything that will make me uncomfortable or anything and it seems she trusts me in that regard too. i kinda don’t want to leave anyway, i’m a bit tired and the bed is comfy. so i lay down next to her, on top of the covers. i’m not real sure exactly what the protocol is for touch in this sort of instance so i try to avoid it.

 

**[Your POV]**

 

You’re glad he didn’t leave, you have to admit - at least to yourself - that you enjoy not just his company but being close to him. You settle down to get some rest though at this point you’ve forgotten what you were upset about earlier. It didn’t really matter all that much did it? It wasn’t that important, at least, that’s why you think you don’t remember it. The only important thing, at least for the moment, was spending some peaceful, quality time with Sans. Even if that time is spent sleeping. You begin to feel yourself nod off as you snuggle close to the gentle warmth that comes from the skeleton.


	41. 40: Tickets

You were practically bouncing with excitement, one of your co-workers had just handed you one of the best things that could have been given. Free tickets to laser tag! Nothing could ruin your day now. There was no other game out there that was so enjoyable and fun to play no matter who won. Laser tag was the ultimate game of hide-and-seek. It had been introduced to the public in the late 1990s and had been a big hit ever since. You loved it for the thrill that you got of hunting down other players and such, even if you had never been a person who’d had a chance to do a lot of team sports in your younger days. It didn’t matter who you were or anything; when you played laser tag it was skill and luck that determined just how good a player could be. Due to its popularity, however, sessions of laser tag could be expensive to play. Your co-worker, however, had apparently won them from some contest and had no use for them because they didn’t have time for it or something like that. It just so happened, however, that you had the day off that that tickets were good for AND you had enough for everyone to join you! You shot off a text to Frisk first.

 

You: Hey, I got some tickets for laser tag, you in?

Frisk: Yeah! I’ve always wanted to try that!

You: You’ve never played?

Frisk: No... I was always told it was too expensive.

You: Kinda is, but I scored some free ones. I’m going to 

text everyone I can think of to play.

Frisk: Awesome. Do you have enough to let MK come?

You: Can he play? I mean, he might just be a moving target.

Frisk: Nah, he can play.

You: Bring him along then.

Frisk: Sweet. Who else is coming?

You: I don’t know yet, you’re the first I sent a text to.

Frisk: Do you think Paps might show?

You: Dunno, but I will definitely ask.

Frisk: Let me know who all replies won’t you?

You: Sure thing, until then, talk to you later!

Frisk: Later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Okay, two tickets down..._ You think a moment before you decide to text the next person on your list. Papyrus was dubbed “coolskelly” in your contacts.

 

You: Hey Papyrus.

Papyrus: GREETINGS HUMAN! HOW ARE YOU?

You: I’m great Paps. Listen, I have some tickets for laser

tag and I was wondering if you wanted to join in.

Papyrus: LASER TAG?

You: It’s a game where you shoot other people with

laser guided guns, there’s no bullets or anything.

It’s just a for fun.

Papyrus: THAT SOUNDS INTERESTING! WHAT IS THE DATE

FOR THIS EVENT?

 

 

You look at the tickets sitting in front of you on the coffee table.

 

You: August 4th, so it won’t be for another few weeks.

Papyrus: THAT’S PERFECT. HAVE YOU TOLD METTATON?

You: Do you think he’d like something like that? If so, he can come.

Papyrus: I’M NOT SURE, BUT HE HAS A LOT OF LASERS IN HIS

SHOW! I’M SURE HE’LL FIND IT INTERESTING!

You: I’ve got enough if he wants to show up he can.

Papyrus: I WILL LET HIM KNOW!

You: Great. See you then!

Papyrus: SEE YOU THEN HUMAN!

 

 

 

You look at the tickets and tick off each one,  you... Frisk, Papyrus, Mettaton, MK... that was at least five and you had five more tickets. Who else should you contact? You considered this a moment and then sent off a text to Undyne. Surely she’d enjoy something like this. 

 

You: Hey Undyne, 

Undyne: Hey punk! What’s up?

You: I scored some tickets for laser tag. You and Alphys in?

Undyne: Score! I’m in for sure, I don’t know about Alphys though.

You: it’ll be in a few weeks, August 4th.

Undyne: I’ll get back to you when I know for sure for her. Thanks

for the invite! Who all is coming?

You: Not sure yet, but I know Frisk and Papyrus at least will be there.

Undyne: Great! I’ve been looking for a chance to cream Papyrus in

a game!

You: Ha ha, still not over being beat in Mario Kart 64 last time huh?

Undyne: I need to get him back for that! I’m going to cream all you

punks!

You: See you there then.   


Undyne: See ya!

  
  


Three tickets left... who else? You considered your options. You weren’t sure if Sans would be interested in something like this but you figured it wouldn’t hurt to offer. 

 

You: Hey Sans.

Sans: hay is for horses.

 

You snicker a little.

 

You: Okay punnybones, don’t make me be formal here. This isn’t prom.

Sans: good one. what’s up?

You: the sky.

Sans: there were some clouds there last time i looked.

You: Yeah, might rain today.

Sans: it’s likely, weather we want it to or not.

You: Ha Ha. Anyway, I got some tickets for laser tag. Want to go?

Sans: laser tag?

 

You nearly sigh, why was it only the skeletons didn’t know about this kind of thing? All your other monster friends seem to know. You explain to him what it was just like you’d explained it to his brother.

 

You: So far Frisk and Papyrus are going as well as Undyne. 

Sans: hmmm, might be fun. when is it?

You: You and Frisk kinda have an advantage in this game. August 4th.

Sans: why would you think that?

You: Frisk is good at dodging and teleporting isn’t against the rules.

 

Of course, you knew Sans didn’t have to teleport in order to dodge, but you knew he could and likely would use it to his advantage.

 

Sans: long as it isn’t against the rules it’s not cheating.

You: my point exactly.

Sans: sounds like a lot of work though.

You: it’s just a game. It’s up to you whether or not you come.

Sans: i’ll be there.

You: okay.

Sans: are you busy tonight?

You: yes. I have an appointment with a skeleton who insisted on sharing my apartment.

Sans: i won’t keep you then ;)

You: see you later.

Sans: bye honey

You: I’m not a condiment.

Sans: but you’re sweet.

 

You can’t help but chuckle a little at that, well that got rid of most of the tickets. You weren’t sure what you were going to do with the extras you had just yet. Well, you had some time to figure that out. 


End file.
